I have a confession to make to my husband but how do I go about it?

Adaeze Amos

Though Samantha‘s three sisters got married before her, they had problems bearing children. And that annoyed their grandmother, who didn‘t see them as smart girls. ”Nnenne, my grandmother, was not fond of my sisters for just folding their arms and watching the time tick away,” said Samantha. ”She was always reminding them that menopause was no respecter of person and that they should seek help when it was needed. She was fond of saying that they should ‘make hay while the sun shines because the sun would not shine all day.’ Samantha was the only person who understood what her grandmother was saying and what she expected her sisters to do.
”Nnenne expected them to stray a little, maybe try other men and see if they could get pregnant. I even had to ask her in confidence and she opened up to me because we were close and I grew up with her. Her voice still rings a bell in my mind. ‘I don‘t know why your educated sisters cannot make good use of their brains. In Igboland, a man cannot be said to be barren. Never! When you tell your husband to go check himself if he could impregnate you, you the wife would be fined for insulting him. So, in order not to be chased away from your husband‘s house by his mother and the in-laws, you help him by looking for help outside. But be very careful.‘ I used to wonder at the seriousness on her face while she was saying this.”
Samantha‘s grandmother said that it was only the mother of a child that knew the true paternity of the child. ”No right thinking mother would confess to her husband that he was not the true father of her son, not even when she is mad,” the grandmother would say.
As Samantha couldn‘t tell her sisters what their grandmother meant by saying that they should try everything possible to get pregnant, she kept it to herself. ”How could I tell my sisters such a thing? I‘m the youngest of them all and my immediate elder sister, Celia, is a born-again Christian, who takes her fertility drugs daily, but avoids her husband like a plague. Her faith is unshakable because when I remind her to sleep with her husband regularly, she would quote copiously from the Holy Book how God aided Elizabeth, the mother of John, and she had John when she was old. She would add that menopause could not deter her.”
When Samantha met Henry, who was madly in love with her, she brought him to her grandmother, who prayed for them. ”In granny‘s prayers, she said children would not be lacking in our marriage, even if it means going the extra mile for the children to come. She said that she would lend us some legs for us to walk there and get the children. I understood what she meant. But Henry, who didn‘t understand her, cheerfully chorused ‘amen.’”
During the wedding, Granny was one of the women on the high table. ”You needed to see how she decked herself in gold. Henry even noticed that and whispered to her that she looked really gorgeous. She stole the show from my mother, who always liked to be simple.”
When Samantha moved her things to her matrimonial home in Lagos, she took her aged grandmother along with her. ”I brought her so that I would ensure she received her medication. She was getting really old and was diabetic because of old age. So, I would make sure she ate what she ought to eat and avoid those ones her doctor said she shouldn‘t. So, she was happy to come with me. Moreover, I opened a shop in front of Henry‘s house, where she sold jewellery. And, being a goldsmith, she could wash gold for her customers, a trade she inherited from her late mother.”
Samantha and her husband employed a maid, who was cleaning the house and washing Granny‘s clothes. All seemed to be going on well until five years into the marriage and there was no issue. Samantha‘s grandmother was more worried than Samantha. ”Nnenne, I don‘t want you to be worked up over this. Henry is not disturbing me and I think God will do it at His own time.”
”Don‘t wait until your husband starts having sleepless nights over that. I wouldn‘t want to be inside the stream and soap gets into my eyes.”
”What has soap got to do with what we are saying?”
”Keep quiet. That‘s a proverb. I don‘t know why those so-called educated ones would want to have every proverb interpreted for them. What I mean is that I won‘t be here and watch you become barren like your sisters. Have you been to the hospital?”
”Yes, Nnenne, I have. My doctor said he didn‘t see anything wrong with me.”
”Kpam,” she said, clapping loudly. ”The doctor you are talking about, is he not that handsome young man? My doctor too?”
“Yes, Nnenne. He even sent his regards.”
”That doctor is well brought up. If not that you are married to Henry already, that man would have been a good suitor.”
”He is married and he has four children already. You don‘t talk like this,” Samantha snapped and began to walk away.
”Don‘t walk away. I will advise you to get closer to your doctor so that he would advise you more. Let him be your friend; such a person will not allow you to be drowned in the ocean of life. I know him for that.”
”You know him since when, Nnenne? You are sounding as if you have met Dr. Garry even before you came to Lagos.”
”I‘m older than you, my grandchild. I use my inner eyes to see what you can‘t see. That young man is nice and down to earth.”
”You are right. He even said he wouldn‘t mind coming to the house to treat you, check your blood sugar, your blood pressure and all that.”
At that, the old woman smiled. Each time the doctor came home to treat Samantha‘s grandmother, she would tell good stories of the man to her granddaughter. Then any time the doctor came home to treat her and nobody was home, she would tell the doctor how he would have been a good match for her granddaughter. ”Both of you are of the same height; tall and slim. I hear that tall, slim men are strong in everything, even making children; not short ones like my son-in-law, Henry. I know if Samantha hears this, she would want to swallow me alive,” she giggled. The doctor merely laughed, happy that the old woman was happy. When he was through with her treatment, she told him to sit for a while and the doctor agreed. ”How do you see my grandchild, Samantha?”
Before the doctor could respond, she added. ”She really likes you, but, you see, she is shy and feels it isn‘t proper telling you she is getting frustrated because of her childless situation.”
”Mama, there is nothing to be worried about. I have checked her and nothing is wrong. She still ovulates. I have written out for her dates when she should be meeting her husband. She told me she started doing that since three months now.”
”And since those three months, nothing has happened. That is one funny thing about very short men. I nearly told her not to marry Henry when I saw him, but because they said they loved each other, I kept quiet.”
”Mama, it has nothing to do with height. All is well. I‘m going back to the hospital.”
”My son, before you go, bear it in mind that Samantha really likes you to get closer to her. You are her only confidant. Please, get closer to her.”
The doctor dashed out, wondering what the old woman was getting at. When Samantha returned from work, her grandmother told her something similar to what she told Dr. Garry. ”That young doctor came here. He really likes you. He confided in me that he doesn‘t know how to tell you he wants to get closer to you. Why don‘t you confide in your doctor?”
”I don‘t know where you are heading for, Mama. I wouldn‘t want to do what you have in mind. Please, let me be.”
Samantha‘s grandmother did not stop talking about Dr. Garry after that. One evening, Henry and Samantha had a shouting match. Her grandmother told them not to use their fist, but they could exchange words because ”it is natural in marriage.” When Henry started abusing his wife verbally, the old woman was mute. She busied herself eating bitter kola, which she chewed loudly like chewing gum. She ate it as if her life depended on the whitish kola. When Samantha started crying in her room, she walked to her room and saw her parking some of her things into a small bag. ”Where are you going to? I hope you are going to see your doctor? Don‘t check into any hotel because the hotel can be raided at night like what happened to your mother when she once left your father after a slight quarrel. She checked into a cheap hotel and some armed robbers checked into the same hotel. Before morning, the police came there and arrested everybody, including your mother. It took almost eternity for her to wriggle out of the case. So, better go to the hospital. Call the doctor on the phone first.”
Samantha looked at her granny and wondered how she knew she was heading for a cheap hotel in the neighbourhood. Her story put fears in her. She called Garry’s number and the man picked the phone. ”Hello doctor, I‘m on my way to see you. Are you in the hospital?” she asked tearfully.
”I‘m not in the hospital right now, but don‘t worry I will meet you there if it is an emergency. But wait, are you crying? You don‘t need to. Just dry your tears, okay?”
”Okay, but I need to see you, sir.”
When Samantha saw Dr. Garry, she broke down in tears. He asked what was wrong, but she was choking with tears. Dr. Garry took her to his inner chamber, where he used to take a nap when he was tired. Samantha sat first on the only cushion chair there. ”No, come over here and stretch out here. You will need to relax your nerves.” Samantha obeyed and stretched out, lying face down. Dr. Garry applied some body relaxing cream on his palms and started massaging her back and shoulder. As he did that, Samantha cooed and told him to do it more. The massaging gradually metamorphosed to another thing.

...what happened between Samantha and Dr. Garry, and how her grandmother felt when she told her…