Things she wishes you knew

Relationship Counselling

For men, women are like the future… something you really don’t know for sure what prospects it has and you can only speculate about. But for women, men are like blind bats in the afternoon and humans in the dark of the night, without a lamp. Each can only grope its way, feeling it is doing the right thing or touching the right spots as they feel their blind ways around. But as intelligent beings, do men have to be that helpless in understanding their womenfolk, particularly when it has to do with relationships? If it was so before, not anymore now as even the women are voicing out how they want to be treated; therefore largely answering the age-old male question: What do women really want? Below is a comprehensive list of what they want; how you can really go about understanding, and therefore, satisfying them.

1. Saying, "I love you" immediately before, during, or following sex doesn't count.

•Translation:
If you say, “I love you” before sex, she assumes that’s because you wanted to lay her and needed a convenient excuse to cajole her into consent. If you say it during the act, it doesn’t count because she feels that was said out of nothing else to say. After the act, to her, smirks of attempting to give a reason for what had just been done.

2. I will leave if you lie.

•Translation:
Don’t worry about what the boys say in the locker room to one another. No girl loves to find out they have been deceived. If you have to tell a lie, better make it a solid one.

3. You look cute when you are in that sport gear

4. I'm convinced I'm pregnant and obsess about it for a minimum of 24 to 48 hours before my period, even when I have no rational reason to think so.

•Translation:
Every girl worries about the future, so always ensure you talk the ‘We’ talk often and use less of the ‘I’ language, which is scary to her. She feels the ‘I’ language leaves her out of the future equation.

5. I love it when you hug me from behind and whisper sweet nothings in my ear.
(So man, do this often.)

6. I love it when I see you gingerly holding a baby.
(Try to put on a show for children in her presence. This tells her you will not only be kind to her own children but will also help her to raise them.)

7. "Fine" is never an appropriate response when I ask you how I look.
(Don’t forget that Donna Summer song, “Say Something Nice”. In fact, saying something nice should be made your first motto.)

8. I'm terrified of becoming my mother, even though I admire her.
(See directly above and take your cue by always saying things to her that would make her feel she is still far from becoming her own mother.)

9. Most of the time when I fantasize, it's about you.

10. I get turned on simply seeing that I have e-mail from you.
(So, send e-mail to her often.)

11. I expect you to call me.
(Yes, she does expect you to call her often.)

12. Give me all your attention when we are on a date.
(There is nothing girls find more demeaning than wandering eyes that go towards the direction of that drop-dead beauty walking past, or sitting at the next table, when you are with them.)

13. I'm scared of losing my independence.
(Believe it, girls are actually afraid of losing their independence.)

14. I'm more forgiving of you than I really should be.
(So, never hesitate to say you are sorry when you know you’ve crossed the line.)

15. Oral sex is your get-out-of-the-doghouse-free card. A designer anything will also do the trick.

•Translation:
If you are not the type that finds it easy to say ‘sorry’, then you must be ready to engage in one of these two acts. Girls find it easy to forgive after any of the two acts.

16. You did something bad. I seem cool with it. I'm not.
(See directly above.)

17. If I'm not having sex with you, the reason is one of these:
I'm having a bad day; I am not feeling "connected" to you or I’m trying to blackmail you to get something I want.

18. Shoes determine whether you're fashionable or not.
(Guys, if you’ve just met that classy lady, throw away all that dog-nosed, over-used shoes that look like someone’s funeral.)

19. Don’t make fun of me in front of your friends.
(Really, that to her means she is not valued at all.)

20. When I compare my flabby tummy to a kangaroo pouch, say nothing.
(This means don’t even try to dispute it. She will think you are only flattering her.)