When your woman is cheating

By Ebele Peters - Nigeria

The late nights at the office and the fact that she switches off her cell phone may get your suspicions aroused, but how can you really be sure that your woman is cheating on you?

I must first point out though, that when a woman cheats, what usually drives her into looking at another man is usually miles away from what compels a man to cheat. For most men, the desire to cheat mostly stems from their desire to spread their wild oats and an innate inability for a lot of them to be monogamous. For women, on the other hand, most of them cheat when their needs in the relationship are unmet.
This is not an excuse for women to cheat, but when a woman is unhappy in her relationship, the man better watch out, because women are just as inclined to have affairs when they feel disconnected from their relationships. Another major reason women cheat, stems from the desire for material wealth which their partners may not be in a position to provide.
To help out today, we shall look at some of the signs to look out for if you have had, even the slightest suspicion that your woman is not being faithful.

There was a time she would blow hot and cold just because you were spending too much time with your friends, work or anywhere else but with her. Then suddenly, she doesn’t mind any longer. You can now spend as much free time apart, she assures you. If that’s happening it’s time to be introspective. Now don’t misinterpret this to mean that she’s certainly cheating, but you really should take note when issues that used to bother her in the past become inconsequential. It just might be that another man has taken her fancy, or she’s ready to move on. Then again, it may be necessary to add that things that used to bother her in the past may become less important as she gets older and has more responsibilities to deal with such as children and a hectic work schedule.

There was a time she wanted you to take her out even if it were to just sit down on a bench in an open field and talk about nothing. Then she doesn’t even bother and gone are the days when she used to ask, “Are you not taking me out today?” You had better take measures to retrace your steps if you’re still interested in the relationship because it just maybe she is on her way out.

When the nagging suddenly stops!There was a time she wanted to talk to you and be heard. If suddenly she doesn’t raise an eyebrow at the slightest thing, chances are that some other man is putting in time to listen to her. Women need that emotional connection that sharing brings and this develops into the emotional attachment before sexual attachment develops. If your girlfriend has stopped telling you details of her day at work, or sharing her feelings with you, then there must be a problem somewhere.

She suddenly becomes the most indispensable person at her place of work, and starts working long hours into the night. She now comes home late and leaves earlier that she used to in the morning, thereby keeping communication and physical intimacy to the barest minimum. Well this may be a tell tale sign for you to try to figure out if indeed all this time is being spent at work.

When she keeps her phone in silent mode for long hours or switches it off completely once she’s home. Even when she does take calls, her conversation is not free flowing, she avoids calling out the caller’s name and answers mostly in monosyllables, it is very likely that she’s taking to someone she’d rather you never found out.

When she suddenly starts coming home with expensive gifts or pieces of jewelry you know for certain you did not get her or she can ill afford, there’s a major likelihood that she’s being looked after by another man with the means.

You had told her from the outset of the relationship that you love her for who she is, and assured her that whether she was fat or slim, tall or short did not matter. When the relationship was good, she never worried about her being too fat or too slim, but suddenly, it becomes an issue and even an obsession. Maybe someone somewhere has asked her to lose some weight or put on a bit more. That someone most likely, is a man outside.

If you once had a healthy sex life and lots of intimacy, then she suddenly starts avoiding your advances, she’s probably doing so because this is one area woman are particularly bad at multitasking. Once a woman is emotionally involved with another man, it is very unlikely that she’ll find you attractive. Sometimes your attempts to touch her will make her cringe inwardly and she’ll do everything in her power to avoid intimacy.
Finding out if your partner is unfaithful or not starts from the time you accept that there is a possibility they are cheating. First you have to determine the status of your relationship. If you have given your all, been faithful and loyal, then there should be no grounds for your partner to cheat. But if you have not, chances are that they will cheat.

Then again, if you’ve given your best emotionally and you notice that the relationship is based on monetary and material gains which you are unwilling to provide or don’t have the wherewithal to do so, chances are that a woman who is impossible to satisfy will look elsewhere. If you are in this sort of relationship, it will best for you to move on because you’ll only end up with a broken heart and delusional that all women are like that.

There are ups and downs in every relationship, so it’s necessary that you bear in mind that one of these signs by itself does not always signify that your partner is cheating. If you notice just one or two of the signs, then there is still a possibility that you can remedy the relationship. But my dear when you see multiple signs, then you have to see the red light flashing because if even she hasn’t started cheating, there’s a major likelihood that she’s on the prowl for another man. So try to take the steps necessary to protect one of your most important assets - your sanity and well being.