No money, no love

By Kemi Ashefon
MARTHA will tell anyone who cares to listen that money is a love lubricant. "How many men and women fall in love with paupers? At least not me," she says. At 32, you will think Martha should not talk about money but love. "I did that several times and got my fingers burnt," she explains. "By the time I graduated, I met Stanley, a young man who struggled for survival. Really, I was in love with him despite his financial status.


"I was serving in a secondary school then and I made sure we shared the meagre salary together. He had graduated five years before me but never got a job. Luckily, I was able to get some funds from the private home lessons I organised for students and I gave to him to start a petty trade. He opened a boutique and that was where trouble started.

"Stanley was making money from used clothes and began to flirt around with girls who patronised his store. Before my service year was over, he was able to travel to a neighbouring African country and brought in those clothes in heaps. If I thought he would marry me, I must have been dreaming because he impregnated one of his girlfriends. I made up my mind never to date any poor guy again and it paid off. Love is also getting 'help' from people who can render it. Stanley got love and money from me and that paid off. Consciously, I date guys who are comfortable enough to meet my needs - I got a bank job, ride my car, live in a cosy flat and I am sponsoring my siblings' education. There are many young men out there who are single, rich and seeking for wives. Love would not always come in 'paupers pack' it can also come in chocolate form."

Men are not left out too. "I came from a very poor home and I made up my mind to always fall in love with who would never be a burden in my life. Love also means comfort and a better life. To me, dating a poor girl means taking blood tonic when suffering from headache. I fell in love with Tina five years ago and I never had any regrets - she is from a rich family, had cars to herself and travelled at will. I must confess that I was able to garner money, got some nice clothes, shoes and I mixed with the right crowd. I made sure I attended churches and parties of the rich. It was easy in churches but I gate-crashed at parties! I had a friend who worked in a high-profiled catering outfit and he gave me information on events. I met Catherine at one of such events," says Abe.

"Her older sister was getting married and I was a 'guest.' By the time I walked up to her and chatted with her, I knew she had no stable relationship and needed one badly. An affair started and I made her realise my financial state. She helped secure a job in an oil servicing company and I was really faithful to her. We were live-in lovers for almost a year but she travelled abroad for a degree programme and I was able to date other girls. Now, I have resigned from that job and I am now an outsourcing agent, courtesy of a girlfriend. It has not been easy but I must confess that all these girls would never have come my way or fallen in love with me if I was a pauper. Though I would not erase love, I think money is also an attraction because women love good things."

Justina, 50, is a successful businesswoman but a widow. "After my husband's death, I have had a series of relationships and I must confess that I had not found true love. Everyone wanted my money and not love," she laments. A mother of two, she was dating Jack, another widower who she thought could bring succour. She continues, "He was always asking me for money to execute either a project or a contract. He would ask for his kids' school fees and rent. Initially, I was doing all this because I thought we were both in love, but I saw a text message which a younger lover sent to him. Apparently, he had promised her a certain amount of money (which he demanded from me anyway) and she awaited receipt! It dawned on me that he wanted my money and was never in love." She resorted to dating younger men and thought she would get love. "I was deceived," she cries. "There was this young man, Dare, who was managing my late husband's property and I thought I could settle down emotionally with him. What amazed me about him was that he never asked for money and hardly ate whenever he visited. He was so caring, loving and respected me that I agreed to marry him when he proposed. My kids kicked against this but I went ahead and had a secret wedding at the registry with him. That was my undoing. The wife I never knew existed came and called me names. She brought three children and accused Dare of neglect. I had to get a divorce, send him packing and I am now alone. Maybe I was foolish enough to have fallen in love with him, but he was wise to have fallen in love with my money."