Desperation and 'modern' female fashion

By Ugochukwu Ejinkeonye

Nothing best underscores the raw, primitive desperation that has clearly gripped and saturated countless female hearts today than the brutal conventionalisation obscene fashion seems to have rudely appropriated in society. A desperate person is always the easiest victim of even the most primitive emotions and thoughtless actions. And for a lot of ladies, especially, when the issue at stake borders on male attention and appreciation, matters can really get out of hand. Nothing is sacred anymore.

Every care about honour, dignity and sense of decency is immediately flung overboard until the mad, blind pursuit of what may eventually turn out a will-o'-the-wisp is over. Only very few even among those who had before then distinguished themselves by their serious-mindedness, self-confidence, scruples and sense of shame and decency are able to resist the temptation to join the rest to damn everything and freely yield themselves to the madness when the demons of desperation perch on them.

It began like some harmless craze: If you have it, flaunt it! This was at first only popular among confirmed weirdoes, flesh hawkers and those other fellows whose prosperity in business depended wholly or partly on flesh-flaunting and such other obscene acts. And then crawled in the next stage of the madness, which, sadly, gradually dismantled the once formidable defences of many ladies, and swept them off their feet, when it eventually succeeded in also setting off desperation in them. It was packaged in a very simple piece of ruinous reasoning: If for whatever reasons you decide to cover your 'natural assets' from public view, another lady, whose "assets" may not even be as luscious as yours would expose hers, grab the 'prize' right under your very nose and go her way. It was a most idiotic logic, but it worked like magic. Why? It was powered by that highly inflammable substance called Desperation.

And so the mad-rush was flagged off. As one observes countless ladies locked in the mortal combat to out-expose each other, one can only be filled with unqualified disgust and pity for these hapless, helpless victims of desperation. In this fierce battle, age does not even seem to matter. Spinsters (young and old), mothers (young and old), and even grandmothers are all trapped in the indecent exposure craze.

The way these women, young and old, hop about in public spaces, without any bit of shame, in skimpy skirts that barely cover their crotches, and blouses with necks cut low enough to rudely flaunt even sagging boobs and unsightly stretch-marks at everyone's face, is just sickening, if one must say the truth. Why has the world suddenly gone berserk? I have heard such stuff like today's woman seeking to assert and fully realize herself, demonstrate that she is not manacled by any conventions, and prove that her body belongs to her, and so the right to decide which part to cover or expose remains hers and all such bunkum.

We have also heard ad nauseam the unintelligent lie that these ladies dress indecently to suit themselves, and not to attract the lustful attention of equally loose men. Reasonings even more bizarre than these abound. What one really finds very irritating is the often long-winded, convoluted, uninspiring and overly infantile sentences usually stringed together by these women to rationalize what is otherwise a simple, straightforward case of desperation. There is a sudden surge of desperation for male attention, pure and simple. So, all concerns for decency, dignity and self-esteem can wait for now. The world has truly gone berserk!

But, sadly, this kind of bait, apart from over-advertising raw desperation, can only attract the wrong kind of men, with the most unwholesome intentions. No responsible man falls for very cheap stuff like that. Indeed, any man attracted to a woman because his baser instincts were awakened at the sight of the lady's exposed delicate parts only comes to assuage his lust. Once that is done, he will simply dump her like some disused akra wrappers and move on. I am sorry if this offends some really responsible ladies out there who may even be as disgusted as I am by all these, but it must be admitted that sometimes, it is difficult to really determine the real problem with women, what exactly they want from men. One moment they seem to be proclaiming through their actions and appearances: Please, I am too cheap! With just a few notes you can have all of me! Just for the asking! Then the next moment, they are on rooftops grumbling that men do not rate them highly, and do not accord them the respect they think they deserve.

Please, for goodness sake, what exactly are men expected to do in this circumstance when these women seem all too eager to prove that their only endowments worth showcasing are their bodies? Whatever happened to intelligence, exceptional abilities, sterling virtues and self-respect and dignity with which women once easily earned the respect, awe and admiration of men? Why should someone insist on being respected even when she, of her own accord, has gone all out to underline the unmistakable impression that she is no better than one of those the cheap whores at some dingy spot in town?

Whether we would like to believe it or not, somebody's appearance remains the first indication anyone requires to classify the person. A prostitute is known by her appearance and lewd, seductive gestures. She showcases her body to attract buyers because her body is for sale. Today, it is difficult to distinguish between the prostitute and those that would want us to see them as "responsible" ladies. My problem is: why showcase your wares if they are not for sale? Visit many offices today, and as you sit opposite the lady attending to you, and she leans forward a bit to explain a matter on the document both of you are looking at, her whole chest, the pride of her entire womanhood, would be laid bare before you despite the so-called "corporate" outfit she is wearing. What on earth can we call that if not madness? Not too long ago, a friend went to a bank in Lagos, and was offered a seat by a merry, cheerful, flesh-advertising female employee. He turned down the gesture and offered instead to be attended to downstairs. When asked why, his reply was straight- forward: "I don't sit with naked women!" How can any reasonable person distinguish between one of these "serious professionals" waiting for taxi along the street after a hard day's job and a prostitute standing nearby waiting for customers, when both of them are dressed alike?

Truth is: there are parts of the human body regarded as "private." These are not meant to be exposed to every eye that can see. Only women of easy virtue expose theirs, because they hawk them for cash. No one, therefore, can appear like a bird, fly like bird, and then take offence when she is called a bird. It would seem that more and more women are becoming too unsure of themselves hence the mass resort to indecent exposures to secure male attention, minus respect. Even mothers and grandmothers have allowed themselves to be sucked into the craze before they could even find time to ponder the self-debasing phenomenon and why they should star in it. Indeed, desperation has so saturated the air that even those in stable marriages who should have no need for other men's attention have all blindly jumped into the dirty, stinking ring without even stopping to ask themselves why. Tragic, isn't it?.