Hard Facts
By Hiyab Tsegay - Eritrea
Take a Cigar daily - You will die 10 years early.
3. Tell a Woman
Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANYONE...
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Chinese names changed
A Chinese family of 5 , named Chu, Bu, Hu, Su and Fu
decided to immigrate to the United States.
In order to get a visa, they had to adapt their names to American standards.
Chu became Chuck.
Bu became Buck.
Hu became Huck.
Fu and Su decided to stay in China.
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Handful of peanuts
A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of seniors down a highway when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady. She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up.
After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts. She repeats this gesture about five more times.
When she is about to hand him another batch again he asks the little old lady, 'Why don't you eat the peanuts yourself?'.
'We can't chew them because we've no teeth', she replied.
The puzzled driver asks, 'Why do you buy them then?'
The old lady replied,
'We just love the chocolate around them.'
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The fireman
The fireman comes home and tells his wife:
In the quarter we have an excellent system. When playing the first add-on siren is for in teams, with the second siren, then, down the column and climb down to the third siren, Tank Truck and out.
So, from today, when I say "first horn" strips the clothes, "the second siren" going to bed and "third siren" make love.
The next day the fireman comes home and shouts: "the first siren," the woman takes the clothes, then shouts "second siren" the woman lie down in bed and finally shouts "third siren" and begin to make love.
After few minutes the woman shouted "fourth siren" and the fireman exclaimed:
What the hell is this "fourth siren?
And the woman says:
Conduct more hose because the fire is far!
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Did the priest lie?
A distinguished young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the Priest beside her:
Woman: "Father, may I ask a favor?"
Priest: "Of course. What may I do for you?"
Woman: "Well, I bought an expensive woman's electronic hair dryer for my mother's birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs limits, and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through Customs for me.... Under your robe perhaps?"
Priest: "I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie."
Woman: "With your honest face, Father, no one will question you."
When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her.
Custom Officer: "Father, do you have anything to declare?"
Priest: "From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare.
The official thought this answer strange.
Custom Officer:
"And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?"
Priest: "I have a marvellous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused."
Custom Officer: (Roaring with laughter, said) "Go ahead, Father." Next!
Now... truly, did the priest lie?
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