Sorry ma, you can't supervise my sex

Written by Anna Okon
After that elaborate display, Utibe stood up. "Excuse me guys, I have to be on my way. I assume you have a lot of catching up to do, hm? (This she said with a direct look at me). Well, I don't want to intrude," she rendered before walking off. Does not want to intrude indeed, she had done more than intrude, I thought. In the aftermath of her departure, a tense blanket of silence dropped on the table. For five clear minutes, nobody said anything. It was like an eternity of uncomfortable calm. I could not stand it any longer. I opened my mouth to say something but Lucas got there before me. "Your friend is quite a handful," he said, then looked at my sullen face. "Come on, don't look so funny, you should loosen up and try to have fun sometimes you know."
"You don't think I am fun to be with?" I asked Lucas. Maybe that was the problem; maybe Maria and Utibe were the types who appealed to men. That must explain why Maria scored so high with him while I ended up the loser, I thought. "You are fun to be with my love. You should know by now that I can't resist you day or night," Lucas confessed. "So, let's move to your place, I can't wait to taste that famous wine you kept especially for me," he added. "I take it you believe what Utibe said. Well, she lied. There is no bottle of wine," I informed Lucas. "Well that would be a shame then. I was looking forward to being spoiled a little, but in any case, we have overstayed our welcome here. I can see the waiter looking pointedly at me, quietly asking me to call for the bill," he said as he signalled the waiter for the bill.
"So," he said when the waiter had cleared the table, "are we relocating to your place or what?" "I told you Utibe was lying, I have no wine at home," I told him. "I don't care for the wine, I just want to spend the afternoon in your company," he said. "So let's go to your flat," he continued, holding my hand and lifting me to my feet.


When we got into my flat, I instinctively reached for the fridge; I was looking for something to offer Lucas. I was still looking into the fridge when Utibe's voice sounded in the room. "Surprise, surprise!" she squealed and I turned immediately to see her with an ice bucket containing champagne.
"What is that?" I asked Utibe. "What is what?" Your champagne," she replied. Then she dropped the bucket at Lucas' feet. "As you can see, it is very cold, Christy bought it months back, we kept it for you," she lied again. Before I could denounce her, Lucas lifted the bottle out of the bucket. "In that case, what are we waiting for? Let's drink," he said popping the champagne.


I was a bit tipsy after just two glasses of champagne. My head was not meant for this heavy stuff, but the liquid was so soothing to my nerves. I decided to top another glass and Lucas was only too glad to oblige. "Get up, you need to shower", I heard Utibe from a foggy recess of my mind. "What?" I mumbled and she responded by practically dragging my reluctant and sleepy feet into the bathroom. "Take a shower," she commanded me and stripped me of all my clothes before running the bath and pushing me into it. As soon as my body hit the cold water, my reasoning returned. Utibe was ransacking my bathroom cabinet. "What are you looking for?" I asked her. "The bath oils, don't tell me you have run out of them," she warned and continued looking. "What do you want bath oils for?" I asked her. "For you of course," she answered. "For me?" I asked, confused. "What kind of question and stupid look are you giving me like that? Are you just going to enter bed with Lucas without at least bathing in aromatic waters?" she asked me.


Then it hit me. "Are you trying to midwife me into sleeping with Lucas?" I asked Utibe. It was obvious she thought I was still tipsy. "Why not? Of course this can't work without my help. I know you can't do this on your own." It was no longer funny and I could see determination in her eyes. I was angry. "You mean you are here to practically ensure that sex happens between Lucas and I?" I asked her to be sure I understood her motive. "Of course yes," the Calabar girl answered. "You are serious," I pointed out, "Yes, I am dead serious," she replied. "Then it is time for you to leave my house," I informed Utibe