Dossier on relationship.

By Auntie Agatha, gataedo@yahoo.com, agatha.edo@gmail.com, Tel: 08054500626

There are many ways to begin a relationship but the best approach remains friendship. This is like the manure that nurtures the friendship to full maturity. Any relationship that is bereft of friendship is like an empty shell. Friendship is what strings together and weaves all the emotions mankind goes through together in a relationship. It adds colour, moderates emotions, collapses differences and provides a level playground for both parties to face the challenge of building the union.
Friendship and not love must be the basis for two people coming together. It is the only emotion that has the powers to heal and restore hope in seemingly hopeless situations.
Besides it is the only emotion that lasts forever and has the ability to endure all the different stages that a relationship must pass through before it finally berths. It is what adds elasticity to whatever we know as a relationship because of its incredible ability to forgive any offense committed against it.
When you see a woman you like, don’t make the mistake a lot of men make by claiming to love her. Simply say I want to be your friend; it means you care and sensitive to her feelings as a woman. It also means respect for her person as well as a desire to give both of you a fair chance to know each other before thinking of anything permanent.
It tells the woman that the man is sincere and not after her body.
Relationship is best defined to one’s partner through actions than words, because a lot of time what we say is different from what we do. Many a time there is a disconnection between what we say is the ideal and what we actually do.
But if we give the right examples through our own considerations, tolerance and appreciation of the other person, we give not only security to the other person but also assurances too that we are always available for dialogue at any given time.
The willingness and ability of dating partners to throw all their cards on the table also go a long way in drawing them out to share information about their stories, fears and hope. It also encourages them to plan as a team.
Once they are able to entrust each other with detailed information about each other, it becomes difficult for anybody to come between them just as they are able to help each other grow strong in their individual dreams through unconditional support.
In addition, effective power of communication helps to throw light on those little but very important things that matter to the other person. It adds extra brilliance to a relationship when couples can tell with accuracy the favourite colour, relaxation spot, kind of treats their partners like.
In this kind of relationship, words will only complement what they already know is true of their feelings for each other.
Honesty and devotion to one’s partner are the ways a relationship can be maintained.
When a relationship is devoid of suspicion, trust is easy to build than in a relationship where the couple hides vital information from each other. A couple must be able, without consulting the other person, say one or two things about the character and life of his or her partner.
Like a well kept garden, a couple must constantly devote time to and for each other, revisit their grey areas as often as possible with a view of ensuring it becomes green, offer compliments when a good deed is done as well as offer encouragement when the deed isn’t good enough.
Pleasantness, respect and responsibility are other issues that must not be ignored if a relationship is to stand the test of time.
Above all a couple must be able to copyright its relationship. Any attempt by a couple to fashion its relationship after another couple’s relationship, complications are bound to rise. Individualizing a relationship to meet the needs and expectations of the two people involved makes for good maintenance.
Importantly, a couple must learn to pray together.