Great definitions....

 Sent by Sharon Anjorin - Nigeria
1. Life Insurance : A contract that keeps you poor all of your life so that you can die rich.
 
2. School : A place where papa pays and son plays.

3. Nurse : A person who wakes you up to give sleeping pills.
 
4. Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.

5. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.
 
6. Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through 'the minds of either'.

7. Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

8. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

9. Dictionary : A place where success comes before work.
 
10. Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

11. Father: A banker provided by nature.
 
12. Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
 
13. Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.
 
14. Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

15. Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read.
 
16. Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight
 
17. Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
 
18. Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
 
19. Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
 
20. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

21. Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
 
22. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
 
24. Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise after death.