When girlfriend assumes the role of a wife

By Nkarenyi Ukonu - Nigeria

It was once again the period when you have three public holidays lumped up with the weekend, making it a desirous mini holiday. Georgina's boyfriend, Kingsley, as usual, requested that she packs a small weekend bag and spend the period at his place. But like a bolt out of the blue, Georgina refused. She told him she wasn't going to be available as she wanted to stay put in her own apartment for the duration of the mini holiday and have some 'me' time. She wanted to reflect deeply on her life and the unpleasant way it was going.

This sounded like Greek to Kingsley who knew Georgina would never pass off an opportunity to spend time with him, or so he thought. He tried coaxing her to accept to do what she had always loved to do - coming over to his place even when he didn't extend any invitation - but she was resolute in her decision. Refusing to give up, he decided to let her be, at least for a while, hoping she would come back to her senses soon enough. But by the second day, Georgina refused to give in to Kingsley's pleas. She insisted on wanting to be alone for once in a long time.

Georgina, an advertising executive and Kingsley, a banker, have both been an item for five years. They met at a concert hosted by the old boys association of the high school Kingsley attended. Georgina was invited to the concert by her best friend's boyfriend, Arnold, who, coincidentally, was a friend to Kingsley. Introductions were made and Georgina and Kingsley hit it off immediately. They had quite a lot in common - they attended the same church even though different parishes and by extension, belonged to the same faith. They were passionate about the plight of the less privileged; they were both voracious readers of history and political books, etc. They couldn't believe their luck; theirs was like a match made in heaven. Their relationship took off at breakneck speed, leaving them with no breathing space. At work, they never missed an opportunity to speak to each other on phone and every spare moment was utilised for this.

If it was possible for them to see each other daily, they would; unfortunately, they both worked and resided in different parts of town, far from each other and this made it impossible for them to make time out to see each other at the close of work every day. But they made do with weekends, starting from the close of work on Fridays. Every Friday morning, Georgina didn't need to be told that she won't be back to her apartment until Monday evening. She would always get ready her weekend bag, which had items that would serve her for the weekend and on Monday at work. They spent every moment together, making their respective families and friends to complain about their lack of attention for them.

But the 'lovey dovey' couple was past caring; all that mattered to them were themselves. On arriving Kingsley's home every Friday, they would hug each other like their lives depended on the hug and proceed to make passionate love without even undressing, refreshing or even taking a breather from the day's job.

Thereafter, they would both decide on whether to stay indoors or go clubbing. Saturday mornings and afternoons were usually spent cleaning up Kingsley's apartment. Georgina would scrub, clean, vacuum and dust the apartment as if she was presenting it in a cleaning competition. She would then go to the market, shop till she dropped and fill his freezer with food, fruits, vegetables, drinks, etc., that would last him the whole week. They could either decide to remain indoors or step out to catch some late night fun.

Sometimes on Sundays after church service, Kingsley might have his friends over and for the period they were in his apartment, Georgina would always wait hand and foot on them. They were her boyfriend's friends after all; she had to be nice to them to gain their approval. Gaining approval didn't just end with his friends, she also ensured that his siblings, or extended family members who stopped by the house to visit, were made as comfortable as ever, lacking nothing.

And by Monday morning, she would be back at her desk and the whole cycle would repeat itself again. This was the pattern of things and it lasted all of five years; and on no occasion did Kingsley deem it fit to raise marriage issues with Georgina. If there was one desire she wished for with every fiber of her being, it was to be legally and spiritually married to Kingsley; but it bothered her that he wasn't dropping any hint along that line, let alone broach the topic.

She knew Kingsley wasn't cheating on her since they spend every free moment together; and she also knew deep within her that she had surpassed expectations - that is if Kingsley had been putting her through tests. Being a prim and proper lady, she didn't think it was wise confronting him head on with future plans; instead, she would always device a means to get her message across; maybe drop subtle hints during their conversation to seek his opinion about an imaginary friends or colleagues who has marriage issues, etc.

But on each occasion, Kingsley would always wriggle his way out of any talk that is closely or remotely linked to marriage. This went on for a while and Georgina, as usual, wondered at his nonchalant attitude towards settling down. And rather than take it out with him and appear desperate, she would simply stomach the disappointing vibes she was getting from him and hope that the next time an issue tilting towards marriage comes up, he would come up with a favourable response. But that wasn't to be.

Exactly five years after they first met, Georgina decided to take a critical stock of her love life. She wondered where she had gone wrong. She had practically slaved for Kingsley, acting like they were already married, hoping, praying and waiting that he would pop the question and take her to where every woman desires - the altar. But the big question eluded her. Five years after, she felt used and duped and decided they both needed to reexamine their relationship. But she didn't have the heart to tell him so.

She was madly in love with him and even though his actions made her sad, she couldn't bear to see him hurt by asking them to re-evaluate their relationship and probably take a break. The best she could do was to tell him she wouldn't be spending the mini holiday with him at his place. She wanted to be left alone to think her way through this issue and hopefully make Kingsley have a rethink.