Path to great sex

by Funmi Akingbade (cafi.punch@yahoo.com) - Nigeria

Sexuality refers to the feelings and responses that are connected with the human desire for sex. Sex is, no doubt, good for married couples. But it thrives best when both partners involved are in love. For this reason, husbands should focus on the stimulation of their wives' hearts instead of relying on manual stimulation.

Openness is the key to the most beneficial type of sex that a couple can ever hope to have. And passionate sex is the quickest way to ensure the growth of a marriage.

Intimacy develops slowly and commitment takes shape gradually, while passion develops very fast.

Also, intimate sex between married couples often results in emotional safety. Consequently, when there is understanding in a marriage, both partners are eager to express their true sexual feelings.

Most people seem to define intimacy as a state in which a couple is having passionate sex. But the truth is it is much more than that.

Intimacy is an attitude. It is how you get along with your partner all the time. It has to be continuous in order for to be fulfilling. If you truly want to enjoy great sex, you should maintain closeness with your spouse even when you are away from home.

Here are few tips on how to achieve this.

In marriage, it is essential to be sensitive, considerate, respectful and affectionate towards your partner. There are many things that spouses can do to strengthen their relationship. In the first place, a mutual give-and-take attitude enables them to relax whenever they are alone together. Due to the stress, which the average Nigerian couples face every day, it is necessary to indulge in a lot of caresses in the privacy of your home.

Caressing has a really calming and soothing effect on a spouse that is stressed out after a hard day's work. So, when you both are home, lie on your side with your legs bent so that you fit together like two spoons in a drawer. Once you are snuggled together, lie still and let go of tension.

Do not to talk too much or move around. Breathe heavily and rhythmically and listen to your partner's breathing at the same time. Close your eyes and let your imagination travel down memory lane to the period when you were still dating and confessing undying love for one another. Avoid sexual intercourse. Such demonstration of affection is just meant to bring both of you closer than ever.

On weekends when both of you are not under pressure to go to work or attend social functions, it is best to lie in bed together and look into each other's eyes. Don't talk, but watch each other in silence.

At first, you may feel uneasy or shy, but never mind. At the level of the subconscious, this is a good exercise for couples who really wish to bond together.

There are other ways to perform such exercises. For example, husband, you can sit with your back against the wall of your room, or on a chair in the garden. Then let your wife rest her head on your chest and wrap her arms around you. Share this embrace for a few minutes. Close your eyes, listen to each other's breathing, feel each other's warmth, and feel your hearts beat together.

Wife, you can run your fingers up and down his back, while he strokes your shoulder, neck, face and hair. By this, you will be sending a message of intimacy, which is good in a marriage.

Husbands, note that when your wives rest their heads on your chest or shoulders and stroke your back, it does not necessarily mean that they desire sex. On the contrary, they just want to be close to you. They want to feel that you belong to them and to reassure themselves that such a rare moment is exclusively for them and no one else.

Active penetrative sex can take place as you amuse your wife.