There is
something important to partners in marriage, of which everyone who desires a
successful marriage must never overlook. It is the art of being good in bed. In
other words, being the best you can be in the act of sex. When partners master
this, it will help them a great deal in their desire to stay happily together
hereafter, enjoying honeymoon forever.
Marriages have been abandoned, and the marriage oath broken, even
by the most innocent ones, on the basis of the bedroom failure of their
spouses. I know of a case in which a lady became adulterous because she was not
being sexually satisfied by her husband. And this is a lady, who never thought
that she could ever touch the forbidden fruit of adultery, not to talk of
eating it. In yet another case, a man now patronises the ladies of easy virtues
because his wife is simply what you will call 'a disaster in bed.'
Amazingly, many marriages have been kept intact as a result of the
fulfilling bedroom experiences of the partners. I bet it that what is
sustaining some marriages is due to the sexual fulfilment derived by the
partners. Some partners will tolerate themselves in other areas, excusing the
misbehaviour of each other just because they are sexually satisfied. I once
heard of the case of a lady, who is married to a man who yells at, and kicks
her at will. Sympathisers have been counselling her to leave this brute of a
husband, yet she has remained adamant. According to a confidant of hers, she
confessed that what is keeping her in the marriage, despite the sustained
beatings, is the sexual prowess of her husband. She will not trade that for
anything in this world. If you find this strange, it's because you don't
understand what is called being good in bed, and most probably, you've not been
there.
To be good in bed means to meet the sexual expectations of one's
spouse. Thus, a person is considered good in bed because he/she is satisfying
his/her spouse sexually. That is why the phrase is relative to each marriage,
and differs from partner to partner. This is why you cannot judge your being
good in bed with that of another person in a marriage other than yours. It is
he/she who feels it that knows it, and can talk about it. The most important
thing is that the two people involved are being sexually satisfied and meeting
each other's expectations in sexual love.
Good sex is about the connection you have with your partner. It's
about working together instead of being a lone ranger, enjoying yourselves at
the other's expense. It is teamwork in bed, just like it's required in other
areas, that produces maximum sexual satisfaction for couples in marriage.
Some like trying new styles for varieties and the fun of it, while
other may stick to the conservative approach. As long as they are sexually
satisfied and pleased, don't interrupt their rhythm with yours. Whereas some
like rough and crazy sex; others want it gentle and sweet.
Factors that determine bedroom reactions
The styles, methods, and approaches of partners vary and depend on
some factors: the time of the month, time of the day, what we eat, whether we
feel stressed, sad, happy, or in the playful mood.
To be good in bed you've got to be able to figure out what your
partner wants every time, and then be ready to give it to him or her big time
and real good, both in quality, and quantity, taking your health into
consideration. It will drive him or her to a crazy end each time, doing crazy
things in bed, with you. In doing this, pay attention to the following: His
energy, if tired or full of energy; how he/she reacts physically or emotionally
to your moves; what words excite him/her; if certain touches or moves make
him/her shrink away.
You must know how to physically touch your spouse in and out of
bed. It brings great excitement to the act of sex. A lover is one who values
sensuality both in and out of bed. So, don't wait till you get into bed with
him or her. Give a touch across the table at dinner; hold your hands as you
take a stroll. It will enhance your ability to lovingly touch and connect with
each other when in bed. Those who are into sex for the sake of sex alone,
hardly touch their partners when in bed. To such person the slogan is 'touch
not', only do that which you do as quickly as possible.
Being good in bed also requires your desire to please your spouse,
instead of focusing on pleasing yourself. It must not always be about you - to
ensure your own satisfaction. Men are mostly the guilty ones in this category.
They taxi easily, so it is easy to fall into the mould. Your spouse's happiness
should always be your priority, in and out of the bedroom. Love focuses not on
himself/herself, but on the other. So never be in a rush to get into the sack
at the slightest opportunity. Rather, wait for her signal before you use the
door.
Finally, ask Yes or No questions when in doubt of your observation
as a feedback on your work rate: Does this feel good?; do you like this?; do I
go harder?; can I pull your rod or hair?; should I remove it?; should I stop
the movement? e.t.c.
Sex should be for or out of love, and not for or out of
obligation. When you do it for love, you will connect, and thus satisfy your
spouse in bed.
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