Getting your partner in the mood for sex

Written by Bosede Ola-Samuel - Nigeria

Having the right mood for what you want to do, can go a long way in achieving great results. Mood plays a major role in provoking our actions in life. The right mood will always get the job done well and fast too.

That is why it behoves on you to get your spouse in the mood for sex when you want it and he or she is dragging his or her foot, or seems not to be too enthusiastic about it. So, if you're feeling frisky, pick up some tips and tricks to get your spouse in the mood for love and sex. Below are a few of such tips and tricks that can get your spouse in the right mood, not only to oblige you, but to make it a great sex moment for both of you.

Step 1: Smell

Get those nostrils flaring with smells of great fragrance and waft them around yourself and your sanctuary. Don't be obsessively hygienic, as the odour of antiseptic wipes and cleaning fluid is unlikely to create the right mood. Showering twice a day, for instance, will wash away some of your pheromones, those natural odours that attract a man to a woman like a dog to a bone. The smell of such body odour is a magic wand that sets the right mood for sex.

Step 2: Taste

Stimulate his taste buds with some of his favourite food. Give him or her food that enhances sex mood, for example, roasted plantain, fish suya and oysters. Also, food that contains chilli or chocolate are also aphrodisiacs as, and here's the science bit, they release feel-good chemicals called endorphins. If you're not getting the right chemical reaction, try engaging his more primitive instincts by tempting him with visually suggestive food, such as papaya, fish suya, or hot dogs. If you're not managing to create the right mood at the dinner table, suggest taking some chocolate, or perhaps honey, to the bedroom, but beware of the laundry bill. Any favourite delicacy of your partner will definitely provoke him or her, when offered at such moments.

Step 3: Sight

Nothing says 'I love you' like making an effort with your appearance. A new outfit is usually enough to arouse more than his curiosity.

Dress up; dress down; dress unusually. Take advantage of flattering, seductive lighting by dimming the lights, or if you don't have a dimmer switch, just leave a lamp on.

Try watching a film together, even if it isn't about romance. Watching an action or scary movie has the potential to bring you closer.

Step 4: Hearing

If music be the food of love, play it louder. Make his/her ears tingle with romantic music and the sound of your soft, sweet prose. Play him/her 'your song'. Tell him/her what he wants to hear. Be attentive and interested in hearing about his/her day. Seduce him/her with compliments, and when you've said enough, know when it's time to let your actions do the talking.

Step 5: Touch

Now you're getting somewhere... play your trump card and get those nerve endings tingling through the power of touch. Relax your partner by massaging him/her with your fingers, and then try using different parts of your body. Use light, feathery touches, hard, aggressive touches or even spontaneous, surprising touches. Be creative and find the less obvious erogenous zones, such as the inside of the arm, the back of the neck, even around the ear.

Instigate a game such as a pillow fight and after all your efforts, lie back and let him indulge your senses.

Step 6: Provocative Acts

Pick up a gentle quarrel; become unnecessarily difficult and troublesome, pull him or her from off the bed; if he wants the cooling system turned on, switch it off; if she can't sleep without lights, switch off the light. Just keep doing something that will keep him/her awake to the point that he/she becomes aware that there is more to your antics, and see where it will lead you both. Don't be surprised if you end up on the floor, it will not do you any damage. Just do something that will tell him or her that the only way peace can reign at that moment, is to engage in some moment of love- provoking sex.

I am sure that by the time you get to this point, he or she will be provoked on to the good work of satisfying your desire. Don't be surprised if you start hearing comments like, "What is wrong with you?", "Why are you being so difficult tonight?", "What exactly do you want from me?", or "Please, stop it, I am getting upset." Just don't mind him or her. Rather, focus on your goal, and in no time, you will both be grateful that you started it all for the good of both of you. After all, it's all about two of you.

Wishing you all the best, especially if it's your honeymoon, or wedding anniversary. May your life together be forever!