What your man wished you knew

Written by Ruth Olurounbi - Nigeria

A friend and I had a conversation about his ex. He said a whole load of stuffs on relationships, dating, sex and everything in between. He confessed that most men don't understand why women freak out, something they do, when honestly it didn't mean anything. I asked for an example and he gave me tons. Thinking he was somewhat "crazy" I asked some other men and what they told me was astonishing.

Here, girlfriends, read them, you may actually learn something from it. Ciao.

*If he takes a few minutes or ok, longer to reply or respond to your text, it isn't about you. He is just busy. "Sometimes we just have other things going on at the time, or we don't want to seem too eager, especially if we just met," Jare Oladele said. Don't worry, he will text you back.

*If you think guys can be "just friends", you are dead wrong. At least that was what Chucks said. Even if you are not attracted to him, he probably is. Now you see why your man seems extra possessive when he sees you with other men.

*Ahmed says though men can actually be 'just friends' with other girls, as long as he's got eyes for you alone, it irks when some women really become jealous for no reason. "Some women think there's no such thing as a platonic relationship with another girl but important for them to know that those relationships can and do exist with the opposite sex. Don't drive yourself crazy over them," Ahmed said.

*Lots of women are guilty of this: don't say exactly what is on their mind, expecting to the man. Temmy is having none of that. "Say exactly what you mean. Men can't read your mind. If you know what you want, be upfront rather than expecting us to read between the lines and getting disappointed later. It's frustrating when women get mad at us about that!" he said.

*Hey girl, men don't, especially, appreciate it when they are the only ones making all the sex moves. It makes them feel you look at them as if they are sex-crazed. So, it is very attractive when a girl takes initiative in bed, Tayo said. Don't worry; he won't think any less of you.

*Ok, this is where even I will say more than a few women get it wrong. A man has to hang out with his buddies. "Sometimes, we just need time to hang out with our friends. And if we don't ask you to join us, it doesn't mean there is a reason for you to get jealous or something," Akin said

*If you are good at something, you just are and accept it. Men find it uncool if you feel you are

obligated to play down your strengths because you are good at something, like work or a special talent. *In case you didn't know, men love to see excellence and, even more so, be around it. So, if you are great at something and can speak about it with confidence, it makes other people want to be around you and can be a big turn on.

*And here comes another point, you have got to have your own mind! Sweetie, men find it a huge turn off when a girl pretends to like something just because they like it. "If we disagree about stuff, let us have fun disagreeing about it. It, at least, tells me you have a great sense of individuality and personality," Akeem said.

*Now girls, I know you have heard that men don't like to talk. As a matter of fact, they do. They just have to trust you first. And when it comes to sex, communicating about it is really important to him.

The truth is, your man wants sex to be great for both of you, and it is very helpful to talk about things.

*And while you are at it, be gentle with his ego. Dan doesn't like it when "women talk about their exes, why they are single, or their insecurities when the man is not bringing it up."

*For women who feel it is cool to pick their meals on a date, men think otherwise. "Please eat food at restaurants! Especially if we are eating at a pricey place," Akin said again.

*If you are wondering if you should leave a man because you can not trust him, Daniel said "if you've been in a relationship with someone over six months and you don't trust him, get out of that relationship. Simple as that."