When the older woman has more to offer

Written by Elizabeth Badejo - Nigeria

Elizabeth Badejo 

It is interesting to discover that while some women prefer to date or marry older men, there is also a buzz in the number of young men who prefer to settle down with older women. The feedback from last week's piece was quite revealing and informative so much that I was reprimanded for not striking a balance between the sexes; that if some women can find reasons to fulfil happiness in what is considered inappropriate, there are several young men out there also who find so much fulfilment from dating older women too. Although the biological statement has always been that a man would marry a younger woman and as the head of the house, it is only reasonable that he is older. Ideally, the young woman is more fertile and able to give him as many children as he desires.

More to offer

The percentage of men marrying older women has increased over the last two decades as both tend to enjoy equal, open and exciting relationship. The older woman is more stable and focused on what her needs are and also able to walk her young partner through his set goals too.

A young man in his twenties once said that many young women his age do not understand themselves, do not know what they want and not able to communicate it too. On the other hand, he evaluated the older women as sure, secure and experienced and that is where he chose to pitch his tent. Then I wondered why his generation has suddenly become slutty and boring; it's obvious that his motives are clearly self interest which may ruin the relationship in the end.

Equality of the sexes

Unfortunately, the growing gender equation today has led to more equality between the sexes as a good number of aspiring young men are challenging this old-fashioned belief for men. But quite frankly, just like the younger woman seeks an older man for comfort and security, the younger man also wants his sanity which he is likely to find with an older woman. 

Vulnerability

The wider the age gap the more you need to be aware of factors that can challenge your relationship or marriage. A man who still has an ambition of fathering children may start to have second thoughts many years into his relationship with an older woman which hadn't posed such an issue in the beginning. In a number of cases, such men end up having children with other women and may even go further to end the marriage.

In an effort to keep up with the younger man, an older woman's confidence may also be affected so much that she may have to rely on the artificial to keep up her appearances and the energy which made her the obvious choice at first.