Right sexual thought pattern

Written by Funmi Akingbade - Nigeria

 Funmi Akingbade

Our society is wired in a way that makes an average couple think that a soul pleasing sex is beyond their reach; maybe such couples should disabuse their minds and make a rethink. 

An intense and fulfilling sex life begins with a man's or a woman's thought pattern and general life's attitude. Actually sex is designed in a way that each time any married partner remembers sex, the mere thought of it should instantly produce a warmth feeling towards their spouse. It should create a raw spark and produce an immediate arousal and sexual escapades expectations. But ironically, it is most time the other way round, because many married lovers never really remember having any satisfactory sexual moment with their spouse. Their warm feelings and anticipation to have sex is either towards their secret lovers, or their one night stand involvement with a call girl, or their fantasy with a porn movie star or secret heart affair/ sexual adventure with a new sex partner.

But I can tell you authoritatively that it is not only within a couple's power to have a passionate, stimulating and fulfilling sex life, but it is also their responsibility to make it a reality. The more prepared and active a partner is in seeking and giving pleasure to his or her mate, the more he or she will get thrilling and revitalizing sex in return. Some couples say "oh I can't even remember the last time we made exceptional or unforgettable love." 

Hmmm if that is the case, just stop for a moment and drop all you are doing and just for a moment think about making passionate, hot and juicy call to your spouse right now and you will be amazed how aroused, ready and overwhelming you will be right away!!! You see!!!

Now with this level of feeling, arousal and readiness, give your spouse a call and book an appointment for a special meeting. Even if you are on a special 'fasting assignment', this special appointment can still be booked after the fast. To make sure you keep this special appointment, please for once give it an exceptional attention. If you work in an office, you may for once leave before the closing hours to beat the traffic and be punctual for 'this special appointment!' If you are a business person, make sure everything is in place and put 'this special appointment' on your top priority list for the day. If you are a nursing mother, ask someone else to do the school runs for you and help take care of the kids just for few hours to attend to your 'special appointment.'

When you are at the venue of the appointment, be it in your home or a special eat out or an hotel or guest house or an unknown destination, please do not wait to be turned on. Start by turning yourself on, how you may ask? By still thinking on how tasty, fabulous and creative sex is going to be between the both of you. The more active your thoughts are, the sexier you will feel. And the sexier you feel, the better sex will be regardless of your age, shape, weight, look, health, present prevailing situation, just name it! Just make sure you are in your best frame of mind because studies have shown that married partners with high self-esteem and better mindset enjoy brilliant sex than those who do not feel good about themselves and think the worse of every situation.

If you as a married partner are experiencing a communication roadblock with your spouse and there seems to always be a great wall of misunderstanding between both of you on important issues, remember great sex is just another way of communicating with your lover. If you keep the line of good sexual communication open, you will be able to dialogue on other issues of life freely and sincerely. What is sexual communication? Simply put is the ability to talk about what you find enjoyable, sensational, adventurous and memorable in a guilt-free atmosphere. And the ability to persevere and bear with your partner till they come into the same sexual wavelength with you.

The more you occasionally create room for this 'special appointment' scenario, you will be amazed that the more both of you will have more time to work on improving your sex life, and the more some inhibitions and preconceptions about what you would or would not do with your husband or wife changes for better. We are all sexual creatures and our bodies have a way of giving us first-hand information about our sexuality when we spend more time exploring the intricacies of the makeup of these bodies. In exploring what gets your spouse fired up, try not to be critical, your spouse's sex drive is like a console with thousands of buttons that when you touch or tap or press rightly, you will in return get plenty of clichés as well as some strange and wonderful surprises that will encourage you for booking other special appointments.

This will take you two far into the worlds of various discoveries. For instance, would you believe that a turn-on for your spouse might just be an innocent thing? Besides, the older a spouse gets, so the sexual approach to get the best out of them differs and deepened. This is because partners change in marriage, they change in age, need, desires, emotional and also in sexual needs. Adopting different types of sex makes room for a truly amazing sexual enjoyment. Most up-to-date couples do not just have sex - they have great and brilliant sex all because they subject themselves to learning. In other words, couples who are ready to learn will discover so much about sex.

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Questions and Answers

Is this a wise idea?

Funmi, I am an addictive polygamist, already with five wives and still counting. Although I have just four kids from my first wife and I have already made it clear to the others that I do not want more children. And if you are thinking about their welfare, I do more than any monogamist out there. But my problem is that of trust; you never can trust these women, they may end up deliberately getting pregnant. So, I have decided to do a vasectomy but my bosom friend thinks it is a bad idea. He said my sex drive will go down after the operation, is he right? Because the primary reason for opting for it is to enjoy my sexual exploits to the maximum.

Mr. Life is Sweet,

Mr. Life is Sweet, let me start by saying that vasectomy surgery won't reduce your libido or sexual prowess. You'll still get erections and enjoy sex like you did before, except if you have had issues with erectile dysfunction prior to this time. Only one thing will be different after the surgery: your semen won't have any sperm cell. What really happens during the operation is that the doctor cuts or blocks the tubes that carry sperm from the testicles to the penis. He makes one or two small cuts in the scrotum to get to those tubes. After vasectomy, the body absorbs sperm, the testicles will still make sperm but you just won't release them whenever you ejaculate and when the sperm cells die, the body just absorbs them, this also happens with other dead cells, too. Every dead cell in the body replaces themselves. Now if your primary goal is not to have more children, you will need a backup-plan like using an artificial birth control method for a while. This is because it takes time for the sperm to clear out of your body. Sometimes you may need to ejaculate 15 to 20 times or more before all the sperms are gone, this could take three months or longer. A note of warning: after vasectomy, you might be swollen, bruised, or in a little pain. But with the use of few pairs of tight briefs to support your scrotum, the swelling and pain will not take long time to go off. It'll also be wise if you take it easy with strenuous soul lifting and explosive sex while you're recovering. You'll be back to normal within a week or three. However, a word of advice for you, no one is born an addictive polygamist; we all are responsible for our life choice and it will be a good idea if you take a closer look at your life choices. This will actually determine our end.

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Who enjoys orgasm the best, small penis man or big penis man?

Is there any such thing like a suppressed orgasm? Is ejaculation the same thing as orgasm? Which is more pleasurable, ejaculation or orgasm? Does a small penis man experience the same satisfaction of orgasm like the big penis fellow? I am married to a widow whose late husband had a bigger penis than I do and this has given me much concern. I have a feeling that she would have loved me to be bigger. And when I shared this with a close friend, he suggested that I should practice a suppressed orgasm style. Please, how do I achieve such?

Oloruntobi Babalola Jajiku,

You may be able to hold ejaculation for as long as you can but orgasm suppression may not be a reality because an orgasm is designed in such a way that it is not only meant to please, it is also meant to be expressed at the inevitable stage. That unique sensation men feel during orgasm is the result of a few different things going on in the male body. As a man becomes aroused, blood rushes into the genitals, and muscles all over the body become increasingly tense. As that process intensifies, the heart rate speeds up and some feel-good hormones run through the body. Finally, ejaculation brings that pleasurable release not only of semen, but also easing of all that pent-up muscular and vascular tension and excitement. Once that happens, most men feel a sense of relaxation. It's through this entire process that orgasms are perceived as being a source of pleasure. So therefore, ejaculation is the release of intense tension which produces semen while orgasm is the excitement feeling of the ease of all the pent-up feelings. Both ejaculation and orgasm are pleasurable. Any penis size enjoys orgasm alike; the only difference is the intensity and duration due to the fact that the muscle-tissue of the small penis is not as much as the big ones. There are better ways to increase the size of your penis than suppressing your orgasm. The mechanics of intercourse also play a key role in how men with small penis can experience a feel of bigness and intensified orgasm.

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I have an unusual long clitoris

Few years ago, you made mention of how we can have a long clitoris by practising a clitoris exercise. I did it faithfully for almost a year. But now I have a big challenge; every slightest touch to my clitoris gets me aroused and makes me want sex by all means. To be frank with you, I even masturbate. Even when I try to pack it with padded sanitary towel, any movement gets me sexually provoked. It is worst when having a bath; if I mistakenly run a hot shower on my clitoris, I feel like having sex immediately. Should I get it cut off a bit or what?

Mrs. Salimata Irohanu,

Inasmuch as you took advantage of the exercise, wisdom demands that things should and must be done reasonably. As soon as you noticed that the exercise had worked for you, I would have suggested that you should have stopped the exercise when you noticed you had a desired clitoral length. But for you to still continue the exercise even after desired length would definitely put you in this situation you are now. Well, you do not need to go get it cut; the remedy is this: wear a padded swimming suit tight panties regularly and do a leg and heel stretched exercise. Within four months, you will be back to average size.