Avoid quarrels in your relationship

~Punch, Nigeria. Sunday, March 13, 2016

Every couple desires a happy relationship. Don't let misunderstandings ruin your bond.Follow these steps and let your relationship thrive

Identify the source

If you always quarrel in your relationship, you need to figure out where it is coming from. If the source is outside the relationship, don't treat it like a relationship problem. Money issues account for more relationship problems than any other source. But in reality, money is a financial problem. It only becomes a relationship problem if you let it.

Don't assign blame

The goal of a relationship is to draw a couple closer, not to alienate your best friend and life partner. Blaming your partner could be very destructive to a relationship and it never contributes to unity. The same goes for being critical of one another, all that will do is divide the relationship.

Acknowledge your partner's concerns

If something goes wrong and you feel responsible, it is easy to turn defensive when your partner expresses their concerns. Rather than turning it into a confrontation by defending yourself, put your ego aside and acknowledge his or her concerns with an understanding heart. You are in the relationship together and that means you probably have similar concerns that you need to work on.

Don't make wrong assumptions

If something happens that you are not sure of, don't make things worse by assuming. Instead of focusing on the negativities, sit down with your mate and discuss possible solutions. If you work together in a creative way you may be able to turn any brewing quarrel around.

Respond, don't react

The difference between a response and a reaction has to do with the amount and type of emotion that is involved. Reacting to bad news usually includes negative emotions. If you choose to respond rather than react, it will be triggered by the desire to maintain peace and unity in your relationship. A response defers any imminent misunderstanding and allows room for more positive emotions like compassion and understanding.

Honour each other's feelings

Men and women respond differently to feelings. Men believe women attach too much sentiment to situations, while women think men always ignore the problem. Recognising these differences makes it easier to honour the feelings and expressions of your mate. Expressing your feelings differently does not mean that your partner's way is more valid than yours.

Respect your partner

There is an old saying that familiarity breeds contempt. In reality, it's not familiarity that breeds contempt; it's a lack of respect and consideration. One thing you would not want to do in your relationship is disrespect your partner. You can promote unity and reduce misunderstandings by always maintaining a high level of respect for your partner, regardless of the challenges you face.

Differentiate the relationship from the problem.

It is vital to always recognise the difference between your relationship and the challenges you face. The love you feel for each other has to be protected from the problems and quarrels. To do this, you need to work at controlling your response, so it doesn't poison your feeling about your mate.

Reaffirm your partnership often

It is important to remind yourself that you are partners in every struggle and challenge. Remind each other that you are there for your mate no matter what. If you make a mistake, be quick to apologise and demonstrate your commitment to the partnership. Be forgiving too. Also, always let your partner sense how much you value the relationship, so as to clear any doubts caused by trying situations.

Get help if you need it

When things get confusing, don't be too proud or stubborn to seek qualified help. Sometimes, you can be so close to a situation that you lose your objectivity. Seek the help of an impartial third party like a relationship coach. He or she will see things more clearly and provide valuable solution at just the right time.