Why one-night-stands aren't such a big deal these days

~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, December 17, 2017.

JIBE waited in her flat with bated breath. She hadn't done a reckless thing like this in her life before. A divorced mother of a nine-year old daughter, she'd run into Tony at a party and they'd got on like a house on fire. Their teasing got to a dare – would Jibe have- a no-strings-attached sex with him that night?

Tony was married of course, so his house was out of bounds. Jibe hadn't had sex for a while and was gaging for it. Her daughter was spending the night at her sister's. Could she let this opportunity slip from her fingers? So she said yes to Tony's proposition.

In spite of the excitement of having sex again, she was scared? She said: "When I heard the bell, I felt a bit panicky. This was suddenly a crazy idea. What if he had dubious intentions? But when I opened the door and saw the lecherous smile on his face, my anxiety was replaced by over-powering lust. Tony pulled me into his arms and started kissing me passionately. My legs actually buckled, but he pressed my body hard against his and I was lost. We started taking each other's clothes off and for a while I felt exposed – and sexy! He gently lowered me onto the sofa, and without saying a word, started making love to me. I'd never experienced anything like it before – so urgent, so uninhibited.

"Almost an hour after, I was exhausted. Tony told me it was one of the best sex he'd had and I felt flattered. It made me feel so desirable and powerful. As he made to leave, he asked for my mobile number but I told him I didn't want to take it any further. He looked really disappointed, but we'd both told ourselves at the party it was to be a one-night stand … "


Brazen? The more sophisticated the technology at our disposal gets, the less attached one gets to sex. You can get any sort of 'information' on sex on the internet and since men had been known to always be on the prowl for sexual victims., they're meeting their match in their preys. Now the big question: Would most men really jump at the chance of an affair if there was no risk of their other half finding out? And would the same apply to the women? You bet!

Thelma, mother of three and in her forties believes over 90% of men would go for sex if it were offered on a platter and if they could get away with it. "There are more important things to settle for in a marriage than being stressed by an unfaithful husband," she said. "I've been with my husband for 16 years. He was having affairs before we got married. I thought it would stop, but it didn't. Most of his 'relationships' are short-lived but some have lasted months. One even went on for almost two years. I have come to accept that this is one of my husband's bad habits and something I just need to accept. In the same way that another man might drink too much or spend whole days away from his family to play golf.

"I know he loves me and I'm confident he'll never leave me. Why would he? We have a good relationship, healthy children and we make one another happy. Plus he can have his little flings and know that I'm always there waiting for him. It upsets and even angers me when people say they pity me. They think I'm weak for staying with a man like this. In fact, I believe it makes me a strong person. It wasn't something I was able to accept straightaway – it's taken a lot of soul-searching to get to the point I'm at today. Of course, it hurts me that he can't remain faithful, but I try not to think about it. I tell myself there are worse things a husband could be – he could be violent, or an alcoholic, or just unloving. I'm not trying to make excuses for his behaviour. I'm just showing that cheating men can't be fitten into one category."

Liz works with a group of journalists and according to her, her belief used to be that about half of married men would cheat if they could get away with it. "Then I decided to question my colleagues," she said. "I'm the only woman in a team of eight. Despite knowing these men really well and they all being decent men, either married or living with their partners, their unanimous answer astounded me. They said that 100 per cent would cheat. I can't tell you how disappointed I was! It made me start looking at my husband in a new light. How many women has he had outside marriage? If I had proof he was cheating, would I have revenge affairs?!"

"Let's face it, married men are the safest if all you want is something more personal than your vibrator," confessed Maria, an artiste. "Since love or any other deep emotion has never entered into the relationships because they're married, the partings are usually brief, sweet and cordial. A sort of; it's been nice, see you around some time. Period. You wish each other well, health, and success. And that's that."