What has shame got to do with a raging libido?

Diary of a Divorced City Girl
~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, August 19, 2018

Why are today's young women so carried away with having fun and experimenting with sex that they scarcely give a thought to getting married?  Those that are lucky to walk down the aisle do it haphazardly. The slightest marital problems they have, their bags are packed, ready to look for greener pastures by eagerly joining their footloose and fancy free friends. So, once in a while, friends get together looking for ways to drag their unwilling daughters down the aisle – no matter how short-lived such relationship turn out to be.
So when Lillian's daughter, Jessica finally came home after her live in lover of three years jilted her to get married to a white woman, we were really sympathetic.  "According to this creep of a guy,Jessica stole him from one of her good friends", Lillian told us.  "He'd had a free ride with the friend, then latched on to Jessica before realising Nigerian girls are dogs. His safest bet was to get married to a starry-eyed British woman who saw him as a stud to die for!  When I saw how devastated Jessica was, I felt for her and was afraid she might do something foolish. So, I convinced her to relocate so she could find a suitor. The word is now our girls. Jessica is now 28 and must find a suitor, come hook or crook!".

You couldn't just have a man on tap, I told her, reminding her of all her match making capers that hit a brick wall. But a couple of months later, Juwon, one of my good friends came calling, grumbling about a nephew well in his 30s and still single.  "All the wife materials he's met, he'd used them for sex", she moaned.  "He's my sister's only child and she's very broody - she wants grandchildren".

A light suddenly went on in my head. Why not match-make this man with Jessica?  The more we discussed the prospect, the more excited Juwon was. When I later called Lillian, she said she knew Jessica's taste and would want to give Adams the once-over before she linked him up with her daughter. Fair enough.

"That Adams of yours is a real cad", Lillian said, months after. I was at hers, having a relaxed evening but her tone of voice made me sit up.  "I don't think Juwon told him what the set up was. When he came to the house, he was confident and cheeky - not the introverted man Juwon painted him to be. When we finally got to why he was really at my place, his face fell.  `I thought you fancied me, he protested.  `My auntie merely told me you needed a favour, I thought ...' `No, no, no' I told him.  `Nothing of that sort must even cross your mind.  I'll arrange for you to meet my daughter as soon as possible'.  And that was what I did.  He looked a bit older than I thought as we talked.



"I was a bit irritated when he called a few weeks after I'd introduced him to my daughter.  Later, I looked at him quizzically.  `I need to talk to you', he said, a cheeky smile on his face. Was he having problems with Jessica?  As we talked I reminded him how gorgeous my daughter was. But it didn't get to him. He just kept on teasing and laughing until I became a bit uncomfortable. `Your daughter is lovely", he said, a bit seriously, `but her mum's more my type'.  `Don't be silly', I told him but he simply came to where I was and kissed me.  I couldn't believe his affront but the lust I saw in his eyes was very tempting. It was a long time a man had looked at me like that. And let's face it, what woman in her 50s wouldn't be glad of attention from a love-sick man?

"He told me he called to seek my opinion on the décor of his new pad. Did I have a minute to give him a hand?  He would take me and bring me back before my husband came back from work. So, I went with him. As I got into his car, I was a bit terrified we would be spotted. I told myself not to be silly - I was with my friend's nephew afterall. As soon as we got to his place, he forgot about the advice he wanted off me and poured us a glass of champagne each. The scheming cad!  He later showed me round the flat and left the bedroom till last. It was huge and so seductively decorated there was nothing I could add to it.

"He flicked on a seventies music on his stereo and the atmosphere was so romantic I just melted onto his arms as the music blarred. Like I said, it was a long time I was this much seduced. As we writhed, semi-naked on a lust I didn't even know I would ever feel again, I made the most of the moment. Beat that clinical vibrator any day - he was a good lover. `But you wanted him for your daughter's silent voice protested in my head. No way!  My daughter couldn't handle a worldly-wise schemer like Adams ...

"As he dropped me off, I told him |I was a happy woman in the marriage that I had and that this would be a one-off, and he nodded.  As I got down from his car, he called, `if ever you change your mind and you want a bit of fun ...' I just shut the door in his face. Once was definitely enough, the age difference was too  much ..."

To day that I was surprised was putting things mildly.  Juwon had pestered me to find out how the match making went.  Now, I have to make up a reason why we need to try other prospects. I guess Lillian did the right thing. Adams might be too experienced for her daughter, but who says she couldn't make the best of a good opportunity!