2013 Jokes and Humour!

By Hybrid Obi - Nigeria

A baby boy was born in hospital laughing instead of crying, the more the nurses beat him, the more he laughed so hard,

... suddenly the doctor noticed he had something in his hands, so he pulled the tiny hands apart and discovered he was holding 3 abortion pills.
The baby then turned his head looking at his mother, laughed again and said

"NO WEAPON FASHIONED AGAINST ME SHALL PROSPER!"

--------------------------------
Akpos

Akpos insisted that his first child must bear his name. So on the day of naming....

Rev: Which name would you like your child to bear?

Akpos: With smiles all over his face he said, Akpos!

Rev: No! He has to bear an English name.

Akpos: Ok oh, Akposky!

Rev: Listen, your son should be named after a saint in the bible.

Akpos: Nawa oh, which kind wahala be this?? Ok oga pastor, my son will bear St. Akpostus.

--------------------------------

Smart Chickens
Frederick Ifeanyi Obiajulum Adigwe - Nigeria

A man bought some eggs n discovered there's nothing inside. He went back to the shop to complain, they broke the eggs and all were found empty, they went to the poultry to complain... some chicken came out and started laughing and said: "look at them" they don't know we've started using condoms.

----------------------------
Keeping the fire burning in a relationship is a lot of work and time investment

Naomi Uche Ochia - Nigeria

There were a group of women at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with your husband. The women were asked, 'How many of you love your husbands?'   All the women raised their hands.

Then they were asked, 'When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?'

Some women answered today, some yesterday, some didn't remember. The women were then told to take their phones and send the following text:
 'I love you, sweetheart'.

 Then the women were told to exchange phones and read the responding text messages. Here are some of the replies.

1. Who is this?
2. Eh, mother of my children, are you sick?
3. I love you too.
4. What now? Did you crash the car again?
5. I don't understand what you mean?
6. What did you do now? I won't forgive you this time o.
7. ?!?
8. Don't beat about the bush, just tell me how much you need?
9. Am I dreaming?
10. If you don't tell me who this message is actually for, someone will die o.
11. Are u drunk again?
12. Whatever you want the answer is no! Hehehehe

-----------------------------
Click to see all the jokes: Jokes and Humour