Good-time girl with a heart of gold!

Diary of a Divorced City Girl
~Vanguard Nigeria. SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 16, 2018.

Faith was having a private dinner at a push restaurant with her current sugar-daddy when she spotted her mum's best friend at the reception.  "It was too late for me to avoid her not noticing me", Faith said. "Aunty May as we all called her is my Mum\s very good friend and my `partner' is one of her friends' husband.  I'd actually met him at her place when they had a house-warming party. I could always tell a bored, rich old man from a distant and I made a bee-line for him.
"Mike, as he later introduced himself was a very successful businessman and he was flattered to be chatted up by me. I was a fresh graduate but looking for a salaried job was the furtherest thing on my mind. Even as an undergraduate, I'd built a very impressive client¨le of men who found my type of beauty alluring. I was tall, very light-skinned - not bleached with boobs to die for. And I was a good girl.  Largely because of the solid moral grounding I got from my Muslim father, who sadly passed away five years ago, and my hospital matron mother.

"It was my close friend, Angela at the university who introduced me to this life of leisure I love so much.  She got drunk one night and blurted out something as soon as she came through the door of the room we shared.  `Faith, promise me you won't tell a soul but I've got something to tell you. I've been dying to tell you for months now'.  `What is it?'  I quizzed her. `Have you got a new boyfriend?' `Humph, sort of", she giggled mischievously.  `I've actually got PLENTY of boyfriends and they pay me well for services rendered!' I was gob smacked. `Are you tell me you're a prostitute?'


"It turns out there is this lively house she visits from time to time. It is owned by a glamorous socialite who'd hosted a lot of men since her husband passed away decades ago", even whilst her husband was alive, she'd made little or no efforts to hide her escapades. As she and her `gang' grew older, they encouraged younger single girls to visit so the men would be spoilt for choice.  `I's easy', Angela told me.  `As long as you like sex, it's a breeze. You should give it a go' While the thought first repulsed me, I couldn't get the idea out of my head. Could I actually do it? What would Mum say'  In the end I did take the plunge and the money along with the contacts were so intoxicating I never looked back.

Take a second look at your husband while thinking of having an affair

By Bunmi Sofola
~Vanguard Nigeria. Saturday, July 21, 2018

"MOST times, lying with my husband watching him sleep on his back, beer belly rising and falling with each snore, he doesn't look appetizing in the least especially with his treble chin and bald head. I am starting to find him repulsive…." Melisa looked so forlorn as she told me about the state of her marriage that I had to laugh.

She wasn't amused. I reminded her they'd just been married 12 years and it was a bit early for her to start being resentful, especially when she has two adorable kids and a well heeled husband who gave her and the children virtually everything they wanted. "But what about meaningful sex? Seun was fit and energetic when we got married with a body to die for.

Now he's flabby and unattractive. His weight had more than doubled; the only thing that hasn't changed is his personality. He's still kind and loving with a good sense of humour. Trouble is, I just don't fancy him any more. I want rippling muscles-not rippling fat!"

I warned her to be extremely careful. After escaping the seven year-itch, maybe, 12 years is when her marriage should have started showing signs of being in a rut-she should strive for both of them to get out of it. "I don't know about Seun," she said simply, "but I'm trying my best to do just that. As a matter of fact, I've just met someone at work. He is a technician we briefly used. Though he is single, he knows he's nothing but a bit-on-the side. And he's so sexy.


Instead of the usual boxers, he wears clinging lycra cycling shorts which makes him look deeply sexy. It is easy to get a way to meet him as Seun works really late now he's been promoted to management level. Don't get me wrong, I love Seun, but sex with Ephraim is like an icing on a cake." I told her she was treading on dangerous grounds but she just laughed in my face.

Months later, she came running back to me, "It is Seun" she said, a bit frightened, "it is as if he suspects I'm having an affair. Last night, he came outright to ask why we never seem to make love any more. That 1 couldn't get away quickly enough whenever he touched me.

She did what she had to do to give her kids a better life!

Diary of a Divorced City Girl
~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, July 15, 2018.

WOULD you do anything to make your kids happy – however sordid you believe such things to be? A few years ago, Denike, a teaching assistant at a private primary school resigned and started a sort of petty trading. "We had the front two rooms in the house we moved to after Dele, my husband, was medically discharged from the armed forces and the little money he had ran out", she explained.
"I started with running a small canteen in front of the house but the landlord kicked against it because of the fire hazard it created. Then I started retail trading but the profits weren't much to look after us all – four children in total. I felt guilty every time I had to tell my children we couldn't afford little treats they'd taken for granted. Out of frustration, I confided in a former colleague at the school. She earned the same salary I did but had told me she also had a part-time job that paid fairly well. I wanted her to find out if there was a chance of my being employed.

"She didn't even bat an eyelid before explaining what she did. She worked at a private club that offered massages to members. It was right in the middle of town and was always busy. She could take me there if I was keen. Of course there was a catch. As well as massaging the clients, I would have to provide extras too. After giving it a thought, I said I would do anything but full sex. I would be okay with a bit of touching, but I couldn't go that far. It still didn't stop me from being nervous though. I remember my first time with a man – massaging his back, hardly knowing what to do as he tried to slip his hand up my skirt. He then pleasured himself on me. I felt dirty and violated.


"I was screaming inside. I just wanted to run from that room, go home and never came back. Then I remembered the toys my kids wanted that Christmas. I imagined their eyes lighting up as I handed them their presents on their wish list. When the man had finished, I cleaned up, took the cash from him as he left. I was a bit relieved it was ready cash. Pure profit so to speak. It was an encouraging start.

"Over the next few months, I saw more men. Some just wanted a massage and a fondle, others were after more. I still didn't feel comfortable enough to have sex with a stranger though. But the more I worked the more relaxed I was about the idea. My colleague assured me what 1 was earning were peanuts compared to what 1 would get if I went the whole way. And about three months after starting, I was finally ready to take the plunge. At least, I thought I was. That morning, I was a wreck. I couldn't eat much. Every time I thought about a stranger on top of me, I broke out in a cold sweat.

Men versus Prostate: Prostate cancer - What to avoid eating

On this issue:

• Every man needs to know about prostate cancer
• Prostate cancer: What to avoid eating
• Early symptoms of prostate cancer
• Know the early symptoms of prostate cancer
• How to prevent prostate problems
• Prostate cancer is curable if detected early
• To beat prostate cancer, have more sex

_____________________________________________

Every man needs to know about prostate cancer
Written by Oladapo Ashiru
~PUNCH NIGERIA. Wednesday, October 11, 2017

Written by Oladapo Ashiru

Did you know that one man dies from prostate cancer every hour? I bet you were not aware of the fact that over 40,000 men are diagnosed with prostate cancer every year. It means that more than 100 men are diagnosed every day.
It is estimated that by 2030, prostate cancer will be the most common cancer in the world. One in eight men will be afflicted with prostate cancer
In Nigeria, every now and then you hear of someone who just died of prostate cancer. This disease occurs most frequently in elderly men of 72 years and above.

Although we are not keeping statistics for the number of new cases and deaths in Nigeria for this preventable disease, the American example is relevant for us because there are significant racial differences that are negative for the African male.
For example, for the African American male aged between 50 and 54 years, the incidence of prostate cancer is two times as high as the Caucasian American and it is one third higher for the African American of all ages.

For all Asian men, the incidence of this type of cancer is relatively low. It is not known what causes this racial difference, but genetics must surely play a part.
Diet is a major another factor that cannot be ruled out as African American food closely mimics many Nigerian diets of pork, beans and greens cooked with plenty of oil and fat. This is, therefore, a Black man's disease that Nigerian men should be concerned about.
The prostate gland is a walnut-sized organ located under the bladder, surrounding the urinary tract of men. It secretes a fluid that forms part of the seminal fluid, which is part of the semen produced at ejaculation after intercourse.

Prostate cancer is primarily a disease of the aged. So as men age, they should take note of the following symptoms and if they have them, they should definitely pay a visit to a doctor.
Slow urination: Men should take this symptom seriously, especially when the last few drops do not expel easily. You should also let the doctor check you out if you notice any change in urination as described below:
Frequent urination is another symptom of prostate cancer. Other symptoms include:
Nocturia, which is passing urine in the night.
Difficulty in passing urine, termed Hesitancy.
Reduced force of urination.
Reduced projectile pressure of urine (ejaculatory pressure).
Blood in the urine.

What causes the prostate to enlarge
Aging, stress, chemical toxins that may be from the use of chemical products like dye, polluted water, and contaminated food, especially with heavy metals; genetics and infection have been identified as some of the factors that can lead to the enlargement of the prostate gland. With aging, there are hormonal changes associated with getting older, such as decreased production of the male testosterone, prolactin ad stress- related hormone will increase with age.

The son who helped his dad make a baby!

By Urowayino Warami   
~vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, April 2, 2017

TUNDE had been separated from his wife for years. She lives abroad and they are good friends. After years of enjoying the single life, he eventually fell in love and things started going horribly wrong. His story:

"I am a medical doctor with a thriving private practice. Six years ago, I finally plucked up enough courage to ask Maureen out to lunch. She was a junior manager at the bank the hospital used and was always very friendly. Whenever interest rates on fixed deposits went up, she would advise me to push for the highest possible on our account. A professional to the core, I was very impressed with how brilliant and intelligent she was. Not to mention her smashing figure.

"She'd just helped push a soft loan I desperately needed to refurbish the hospital when I asked her to lunch as a 'thank you' gesture. To my pleasant surprise, she agreed and that was how our relationship started. I was in my fifties with two lovely children. Their mother had opted to stay behind when I wanted to relocate to the country – our marriage wasn't working and she had a job she loved with the social service. So, we parted amicably and I so much enjoyed my freedom, I wasn't really keen on getting married again- until I met Maureen.

She was a single mother of a two-year-old daughter and as I got to know her better, she told me she was thinking of leaving the bank to pursue a business in horticulture. She'd completed a horticultural course when she studied abroad and had done a bit on the side for a few clients who'd praised her efforts. I encouraged her to follow her dreams and gave her financial support to kick-start the business – she already had half of the outlay from her retirement benefits.


"Barely a year later, the business had taken off beyond our wildest dreams – thanks to elaborate decorations that are the in-thing at functions these days – weddings especially. With my clout, I was able to get her jobs from reputable companies and friends.

"It was around this time we gave a serious thought to getting married. One thing we both wanted very much was a baby of our own. For the next three years, we tried but nothing happened. In the end, I took her to a gynaecologist who was also a very good friend. He did tests upon tests until it was discovered that only one of her fallopian tubes was functioning. That, coupled with my age, had reduced our chances of having a baby. My friend then suggested we travel to Britain, giving us the address of a top IVF hospital. At first, I was reluctant, but Maureen was in her early 30s and feared her biological clock was ticking fast. And I loved her. So I agreed to go with her.

How can a housewife justify multiple affairs?

~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, March 5, 2017.

I'VE often wondered what life would be like if it is devoid of the heady sensation of sex? A lot had been said and written on how revered it should be in marriage. Yet, on the other side of the coin, illicit sex is so available you could virtually have it on tap! When you mention kiss and tell, an image of a man pops up. I mean, what married woman in her senses would confess to an affair even with a gun held to her head, let alone brag about the joy of illicit sex? Times are really changing.

The smug smiles a couple of my friends and I wear when we discussed our 'indiscretions' pale into insignificance when compared with what the average adventurous wife gets away with these days. And she's so brazen she often brags about how easy it is to pull the wool over hubby's eyes.

Vivienne, a much younger friend is one of these high-flying professionals with the Midas touch. She currently works with a boss who was recruited from abroad by the firm they both work with. Viv's been bending my ears on how handsome and cosmopolitan Greg, the boss was that on this day I called on her, I automatically switched off when she started singing Greg's praise. I'd reminded her often she'd just been married less than 10 years and affairs should be off her menu. "I love Ebere (the husband) but he could be so predictable at times." She would tell me in her defence. This day in question, she was babbling on about Greg when I took notice of what she had to say. "I often have erotic dreams about him and now we've been teamed to work overtime on our new account, heavens only know what would happen", she said excitedly.

"What do you mean?", I asked in my don't-do-any-thing-foolish voice. "I've been having these erotic dreams about him and now we'll be working together often, anything could happen". I warned her of the consequences of any rash action, then left. But I couldn't get her out of my mind. I was so curious I had to pay her another visit some few months later. "Oh aunty- C, I feel guilty I couldn't give you a call or visit, I've been so busy!' she said. 'I can imagine,' I mumbled under my breath. It is always a delight to visit her anyway as she entertains lavishly whenever I called. With fresh fish stew and boiled potatoes in my belly, being washed down with a very good wine, Viv dropped her bombshell: "I've relived my dream", she declared. I almost choked on the wine as my ears perked up. "Some weeks back, after we'd finished one of our projects, Greg sent for food from the nearest hotel and popped a bottle of champagne he'd put in his fridge. Before the food arrived, we'd almost finished the bottle which explained why I became giggly and hot when Greg started teasing.


I told him about my dreams and he leered. 'Now's the time to find out,' he said as he moved closer – in a few seconds, we were in a clinch, kissing furiously and helping each other out of our clothes. In no time at all, we were on his office couch, making frantic, raunchy love – the thought of my marriage flying out of the window. "I couldn't have stopped him even if I wanted to! When it was over, he looked really proud of his achievement but I didn't mind. It was the best bunk I'd had for months'.

Every woman owes it to herself to have...

Written by Candida - Vanguard, Nigeria. 

WHAT happens to 'meaningful' relationships in your middle-age? Is sex different now you're older? According to Richard, now 50 and a divorcee; "I no longer believe I can sweep a woman up with the sheer physical power of sex and temporarily wash away our failures in a rain of sweat.

As a new relationship moves towards the physical, I find myself thinking: 'I have been through this before, 1 thought I would survive it and I suppose I did, but only barely. I don't want to do it again. I want to be in the water, very much, but I can't bear to dive off that high cliff another time. No more swinging from the chandeliers!

"The women are older too, they open up more readily, they waste less time, they show their needs. Most of all, they read a man's reluctance like a soothsayer looking through her crystal ball. We strain for the pleasures of new romance, but our ability to pretend is short-lived.

'Let's end this before it becomes toxic,' suggested one smart lady after about five dates! What amazes me after a long decade away from the sexual market place is how different our public discourse of sexuality is from our actual experiences. Casual sex, 'friends with benefits' (where you bunk a close friend from time to time with no strings attached) all the arrangements meant to satisfy the libido without entangling the heart, are, for the most part, dull and awkward forms of sexuality. The small miracle for older people is that most of us still believe in love, and live for it, and sometimes, after a long wait, find it."

Rachel, a sports enthusiast in her late 50s runs a thriving company and lives comfortably in her own home with her two sons. "I took several years off romance and sex after having had a moment of spiritual insight, born of intense pain – when 1 was in an unhealthy relationship with a man, my mind and sports, mainly golf, fell apart.

I happen to be a good golf player and most of the men I played with naturally flirted with me. They loved that I could help them with their game – and maybe provide them with a bit of loving too.

'Never Knew Such Men Existed Till I Had A Personal Experience With My Husband'

~The Guardian

I was 21 years of age when I gained admission into the university in the Western region of Nigeria. Before then was when I met this man I am married to now. He has, if not all, the best quality any good man would have: God- fearing, intelligent, handsome to mention but a few. Even with the little he had he made sure he shared them with me. After he graduated and served, he got a job and further trained me in the university. He proposed to me in my second year and we finally got married in my final year in school.

The devil played his part during this period. There was this guy I was seeing. At first, I only took him as a friend. Along the line, he said he wouldn't mind being a fling and the result was that I got pregnant for this guy even though I just got married. I was so confused that I didn't know what to do, and I couldn't tell anybody, even my friend, because I could not just trust anybody. And terminating it would not be an option. I had to tell my husband I was pregnant for him even though I knew I was committing a very big sin.

I get over 100 suitors daily -Popular hairy lady, Queen Okafor

FRIDAY OLOKOR (Punch Nigeria) writes about Queen Okafor, popularly known as Nigerian Queen of hairs

Queen Okafor

In Africa, traditional beliefs cannot be wished away, even though it is generally believed that change is constant. Some tribes in Nigeria view women with excessive hair as a taboo.

But this belief does not strike a chord in Queen Okafor, a native of Nnobi in Idemili South Local Government Area, Anambra State.

Seeing her for the first time evokes mixed feelings about her gender. This is mainly because of the hairs which adorn her breasts, chest, face and other parts of her body.

This special feature stands her out in public and wherever she goes. For some of her fans, Queen, a graduate of Environmental Health Science, is the most hairy woman in Nigeria, although no competent source has verified the claim.

Little wonder she describes herself as "Nigerian Queen of hairs."

Okafor said she got no fewer than 100 suitors daily on the average, depending on the place she visits.

She said, "I get not less than 100 suitors and admirers everyday depending on the occasion. Married and single men, boys, girls, lesbians and gay men are attracted to me. But I can't accept every person that approaches me because people are very deceptive.

"Some men will tell me that they are not married, whereas they are married with children at home. I am not married, but I intend to get married one day because that is the prayer of every woman, but definitely not to a married man. If God answers my prayers, I will be happy to be married to a businessman that will love me and not be one that will beat me."

Her comments seem to stem from the fallout of a previous relationship. She however said, "No man has ever dumped or disappointed me, I can tell you that. I fell in love with one man immediately after my secondary school. He was fond of beating me because he was very temperamental and that informed my decision to quit the relationship."

She spoke about another failed love encounter.

Wives and mistresses

Let's take a look at your underwear drawers. Let's see what you've got in there; black, white things, full pants, full-cup bras with wide straps. Slips that are brown and body shapers without frills and lace. Don't tell me I'm right, ma'am? 

Your under wears are actually in those colours? Geez, you are the 'BORING WOMAN of the Year'. Practical underwears are boring because underwears are not supposed to be boring. They are supposed to be titillating, exciting, sexy. So, because you are a wife now, you think your man's senses have retired? If only you know. But since you think neat and practical knickers are the best wife -investment since economic meltdown, let's take a trip somewhere.

Here's what a mistress' lingerie closet looks like. First, it's scented. Then the colours are peach, sweet pink, sexy red, valentine lilac, mesmerising orange, drowsy blue, lip-smacking orange. There are g-strings and thongs . She wears full panties too but hers have hooks that 'he' can undo with his eyes closed and bows that he can loosen with his teeth before he moves on to the heart of the matter. A mistress' bras have supports that support her cause and case but they can be unhooked from the front in one swift move. Even when it is a full-cup, it offers no resistance. The half-cup ones are unmanned borders, very porous.

ARE THE MEN STILL CLAPPING?

11 people were hanging on a rope under a helicopter. There were 10 men and a woman. The rope was not strong enough to carry them all. So they decided that one of them had to leave, otherwise they were all going to fall. They were not able to agree on who that person would be. Until the woman among them gave a touching speech. She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope because as a woman, she was used to giving up everything for her husband and kids or for men in general. She said she was used to always making sacrifices and getting little or nothing in return. As soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping...

All the men, of course, dropped to their untimely deaths and she flew away alone in the chopper. Well, what can a woman do?

That is the power of a woman, the brand only smart men recognize and acknowledge. If there had been at least one of those 10 excitable men who could see beyond that woman's 'moving' speech, he would be alive today. But don't we all know that men don't do much thinking when they see women they want?

In my mind's eyes, I could see the woman in that joke wearing a very short skirt, no bra and a top with a plunging neckline. How do you reason with a man drooling over ample cleavage? If you scream 'Praise the Lord', he won't shout Halleluyah because he is far away in la-la land. The woman in that joke, I'm sure, also had smooth skin, probably fair skin. All 10 men simply threw their thinking caps in the air or how else do you explain why they all forgot that they did not have third hands and that once they started clapping they were going to drop to their deaths?

Women and the big “O”

Sometimes reaching an orgasm isn’t as easy as it appears. There are evidences that the big O for a woman is far more complicated compared to the man. The act itself releases oxytocin—a chemical that induces feelings of relaxation, peace, safety and other positive feelings. That is why an orgasm can briefly alleviate a headache, arthritic pain or menstrual pain.

G-spot

Many women believe the “G-spot” simply stands for the “Good spot” but in fact, it is named after Ernst Gräfenberg, a German gynaecologist that discovered the region of female genitalia that contains a large cluster of nerve ending. The G-spot is the spot for orgasm for most women – if they can find it!

Genitalia

There is a link between a woman’s sexual confidence and her likelihood of orgasm. If a woman feels insecure about her genitalia, she’ll struggle to orgasm. There is no such thing as “normal” genitals; they come in all shapes, colours and sizes.

Male factor

Normally, a woman takes much longer than her male partner to reach orgasm. Studies have found that most women need at least 20 minutes of sexual activity to reach orgasm. One study had 84 percent of men reporting that they believed their partner orgasmed when they had sex, but only 64 percent of women reported having actually orgasmed during their last sexual session. So, communicate! A lot of men don’t know that they need to work harder.

Dysfunction

The Planned Parenthood reports that 1 in 3 women struggle to orgasm with a partner, and as high as 80 percent of women struggle to orgasm from intercourse alone. As a whole, female sexual dysfunction (which includes failure to orgasm) is experienced by 43 percent of all women.

Spontaneous is good!

There are tales of women who orgasmed from riding a horse or getting a massage. They may be true! Certain activities stimulate blood flow to the genitals and induce relaxation, two crucial components to reaching orgasm.

Role of condoms

Studies have found that women are just as likely to reach orgasm with or without a condom. Some scientists speculate that condoms may help a woman’s chances of reaching orgasm since the man doesn’t need to worry about ejaculating too early and needing to pull out, he might be able to last longer.

Age factor

If you’re getting depressed about wrinkles or the effect gravity is taking on your mammary glands, here’s one thing to cheer up about regarding getting older: your sex life might get better! Studies have shown that more women in their 40’s and 50’s experience regular orgasms than women in their 30’s. There is no scientific reasoning behind these findings, but it could be because with time comes experience and older women know how to direct their partner to help them orgasm more.

Treatment

Eros, an FDA-approved device, helps blood flow to the genitals and can up a woman’s chances of orgasm. There are also over-the-counter creams that can increase sensitivity in the vaginal region.

Variety helps

Women have reported having an easier time climaxing if they incorporate several sexual acts or positions into a romp session. For example, having your partner both manually please you and have intercourse with you will make it more likely that you’ll orgasm than just one or the other.

Reasons partners cheat

Written by VIVIAN OBERE - Vanguard Nigeria

Spouses sometimes find themselves at a crossroads in relationships which may occur as a result of cheating. VIVIAN OBERE, in this piece, presents the various reasons that may lead to cheating and how it can be reduced and, if possible, prevented.

It is sometimes pandered that there is no relationship which is entirely free of infidelity, albeit, in varying doses. Several reasons are usually alluded to, on why couples may likely cheat in relationships. Mr Abraham Ojekanmi, a marriage counsellor, who spoke with Sunday Tribune, advanced many reasons that would compel couples to be unfaithful. Some of the reasons are stated below.

The absence of the fear of God:

According to Mr Ojekanmi, when partners do not imbibe the fear of God, it may lead to infidelity. According to him, "when couples do not have the fear of God in their relationship, there is every tendency that they would cheat on each other. However, when couples fear God in all they do, they would always put God first. What you don't want others to do to you, you don't do to them."

Sexual frustration

For Olabisi Fanimo, a married man, "Sexual frustration could lead partners to cheat. When a partner is not sexually satisfied or when the significant other withholds sex for whatever reason, there may be the tendency to seek satisfaction elsewhere."

Widows open up on sex life, coping strategies

Written by 'Nonye Ben-Nwankwo - Punch, Nigeria

Her husband is dead. She is jobless. She is saddled with five hungry mouths to feed. The burden of the next house rent lies solely on hershoulder, no companion, no friend. She is being scorned by not a few but also pitied by many others. This is the life of a typical Nigerian widow.

You see her; the picture she paints is that of a helpless woman who is more worried about her financial incapability. Ask 10 widows and nine out of them would tell you their major problem is money. But no, that is not the major predicament, it goes beyond that.

Above all the challenges and concerns, a widow is first of all, a woman who has needs – sexual needs. How does she cope when that urge, that craving and that feeling of wanting to have a man satisfy her sexual needs, comes up? How does she quench her sexual desire?

As you watch her cry at the graveside of the husband, wanting to fall into the grave with the casket, it is not only because she has lost a helpmate. She cries most importantly because she has lost a friend, a companion and of course, a lover- a sex mate!

The perception that a widow doesn't and shouldn't have a sexual need lies in the minds of the ignorant. The urge is there, stronger, deeper and certainly more intense.

"I am not too old, somebody should be around me. The urge to have sex comes on once in a while, it is the grace of God that keeps me going all this while," says 53-year-old school teacher, Getrude Oyetayo.

"Personally, I came to realise that my profession of being a teacher has helped me a lot. I am disciplined. I try to make sure I am myself. I respect myself and forge ahead. I don't dwell along that line. If I put my interest there, I will lose focus. Peradventure it comes again; I only ask God what He thinks I should do. God has always been there. God will ask me if He is not sufficient for me. If I have any sexual feelings, I engage myself in the house of God. It has helped me not to think of it.

"When I feel the urge, I run to the church. The first few years I lost my husband, I would always go to the church to sweep it. I will listen to the radio. At times, my kids would not be around, they would go back to school. I don't even have a maid. But I will manage," she explained.

Oyetayo said she had had to battle with the issue of loneliness since her husband, Williams, passed on five years ago.

"As a human being, the loneliness comes up. It is terrible. If you are not careful, you will lose focus. Loneliness is something a widow battles with. You look right, you don't see anybody and you look left, you don't see anybody. You are just on your own. My companionis my transistor radio. If I am not singing praises, I will listen to radio or watch TV. Before you know it, it would be night and I would sleep off and wake up the next morning," she says.

Five years down, Oyetayo says she is still not used to the fact that she is a widow, saying she would not wish the condition for her worst enemy.

"I was traumatised for a long time. I went through a lot of psychological and emotional pain. But God has been there. It is His grace that has been sustaining me. Being a widow is something you will not wish your worst enemy. I thank God anyway."

Thirty-year-old shares her experience

Oyetayo's story is not different from that of 30-year-old Ibienne Ekile, (not real names), a Rivers State banker based in Lagos.

Ebola: Nigerians go comical?

...culled from Nigerian Tribune

THE scourge of the Ebola virus in Nigeria has thrown up a lot of issues. Aside government's spirited efforts to contain the spread of the virus, there have been a rise in weird and comical angles to it on the social media. DAMOLA ADEOYE picks up some of them.

WITH the death of Liberian diplomat, Patrick Sawyer, and the subsequent death of a Nigerian nurse who cared for him, Nigerian authorities and, indeed, all Nigerians may have been alerted to the grim realities of the dreaded Ebola virus. Though the disease has been ravaging Liberia, Guinea and Sierra-Leone with their governments already declaring an emergency in the health sector, the reactions of Nigerians to the appearance of the virus in the country have grown from a stupefied one to one, somewhat weird and downright comical. 

New Ebola greeting styles

With medical experts advising against shaking hands and/or avoiding physical contact with people, Nigerians have found a way to create comic skits out of the situation.

On facebook, several pictures depicting ways of greeting each other are now trending. The pictures show people bent on avoiding the traditional handshake, now greeting each other with their backsides touching one another. Others stand far apart, one hand waving, another covering their nose.

Cheap, easy ways to have fun in marriage

Written by Bosede Ola-Samuel - Nigeria

For many couples, sex is no longer what it used to be. There's no more adventure. So, they are stuck with the hope that things will get better. But the truth is, many times, wishes do not translate into reality. That is the basis of the popular saying, "if wishes were horses, beggars would ride." Wishing it will get better is not likely going to work. Couples who are serious about having a better sex life need to work at it. They may need to talk to sex experts to find out how they can put the "fire" back in their sex life. They could also read more books, magazines and write-ups on sex. Trying out the tips below will surely help in that direction. 

The starting point is to talk about your sex life in order to find out what the missing link is. If you doubt the need for this, then read this excerpt:

"Even long-term couples can struggle in the bedroom. Though we can easily tell our partner what shirt we'd like him to wear, or what we'd like to cook together for dinner, we tend to get tongue-tied when it comes to the topic of sex. 'People tend to be very sensitive when it comes to talking about sex. They're afraid of hurting their partner's feelings, so, they don't tell them what they like or don't like. But you're not going to get it unless you ask for it,' says relationship and family therapist, Rachel Sussman."

So, how do you tell your partner what you want without bruising his or her ego? I think it's really in how you bring up the statement. You can begin by saying, "I would love it if we..." or, "Could we try this?" You don't want to make them feel bad about what they've done or haven't done.

8 signs you are awesome in bed

Written by  Ruth Olurounbi - Nigeria

You can dance.

Now before all of you start coming at me from every corner of Reddit to cut me off at the pass of my misandry, fedoras clutched in your gnarled fingers and neckbeards springing forth from your quivering underchin like a thousand resilient dandelions, hold on. I don't mean that those who are incapable of getting past the first two rounds of So You Think You Can Dance are destined to remain shriveled virgins. We don't all have to be the non-horrific version of Chris Brown when it comes to moving our feet along a dance floor. However, if you are the kind of person who is determined to stay glued against the wall while everyone else is having fun and being silly, I don't know how your hips would do if naked and horizontal. I don't have high hopes for them, though.

Your sexuality isn't easily threatened.

If you often find yourself referring to things as "gay" or "girly" or "lesbo" and have a laundry list of things you will not do, wear, say, or try because they somehow threaten your ability to be yourself in your own gender and sexuality - chill. Chill, chill, chill. If you are into who you are and have no doubts about what you like (and are not upset by those around you not liking the same thing) there is no reason to get so angry at the thought of having to, say, use a pink pen when you are CLEARLY a MAN with a PENIS. If you're not bothered by these things, it's a pretty good sign that you don't feel you have much to prove.

What your man wished you knew

Written by Ruth Olurounbi - Nigeria

A friend and I had a conversation about his ex. He said a whole load of stuffs on relationships, dating, sex and everything in between. He confessed that most men don't understand why women freak out, something they do, when honestly it didn't mean anything. I asked for an example and he gave me tons. Thinking he was somewhat "crazy" I asked some other men and what they told me was astonishing.

Here, girlfriends, read them, you may actually learn something from it. Ciao.

*If he takes a few minutes or ok, longer to reply or respond to your text, it isn't about you. He is just busy. "Sometimes we just have other things going on at the time, or we don't want to seem too eager, especially if we just met," Jare Oladele said. Don't worry, he will text you back.

*If you think guys can be "just friends", you are dead wrong. At least that was what Chucks said. Even if you are not attracted to him, he probably is. Now you see why your man seems extra possessive when he sees you with other men.

*Ahmed says though men can actually be 'just friends' with other girls, as long as he's got eyes for you alone, it irks when some women really become jealous for no reason. "Some women think there's no such thing as a platonic relationship with another girl but important for them to know that those relationships can and do exist with the opposite sex. Don't drive yourself crazy over them," Ahmed said.

Aphrodisiac - Foods that can drive your sex life

You have heard of foods that boost energy, sharpen memory, and even fight stress. But these aphrodisiac snacks serve a sexier purpose: they improve your sex life. So, if you are looking for a way to feel friskier, feast on these following foods.

Wa-termelon

Nervous about your first time? Drink some watermelon juice. Watermelons are known as thirst quenchers. But as watermelon martini, your oesophageal thirst isn't the only thing you should be quenching. The juicy fruit contains the phytonutrient citrulline, which leads to an uptick in the amount of nitric oxide in your body. That spike causes blood vessels to relax and speeds up circulation. As a result, you'l get more aroused in less time.

Bananas

Looking for a better reason to think about sex when you wrap your lips around this phallus-shaped fruit? Potassium! It is a nutrient key to muscle strength. So when you orgasm, the contractions will be super-intense.

Getting your partner in the mood for sex

Written by Bosede Ola-Samuel - Nigeria

Having the right mood for what you want to do, can go a long way in achieving great results. Mood plays a major role in provoking our actions in life. The right mood will always get the job done well and fast too.

That is why it behoves on you to get your spouse in the mood for sex when you want it and he or she is dragging his or her foot, or seems not to be too enthusiastic about it. So, if you're feeling frisky, pick up some tips and tricks to get your spouse in the mood for love and sex. Below are a few of such tips and tricks that can get your spouse in the right mood, not only to oblige you, but to make it a great sex moment for both of you.

Step 1: Smell

Get those nostrils flaring with smells of great fragrance and waft them around yourself and your sanctuary. Don't be obsessively hygienic, as the odour of antiseptic wipes and cleaning fluid is unlikely to create the right mood. Showering twice a day, for instance, will wash away some of your pheromones, those natural odours that attract a man to a woman like a dog to a bone. The smell of such body odour is a magic wand that sets the right mood for sex.