Are you adventurous enough to handle a one-night stand?

VANGUARD Nigeria. Saturday, November 2, 2019

One night stands are seldom planned - you find yourself in the company of the opposite sex, the chemistry is so charged that nothing matters but that electrifying moment - not your reputation and certainly not common-sense.

A few months back, Afusat found herself in a very lavish bachelor's eve party. "The couple were in their mid-thirties", explains Afusat, "and most of the guests were successful corporate players who came to the party to unwind.

I was 32, engaged to be married soon and laughed indulgently at some of my friends who were out on manhunt. As I made my way to the bar to get a refill for my gin and tonic, a deep voice boomed behind me, What a party!

Are you a friend of the groom-to-be? Turning round, I saw a real hunk, with a clean shaven head and mischievous look. Falteringly, I told him I was the bride's good friend.

"Then we were chatting and laughing. How had he managed to escape the clutches of my man-hungry friends? I don't know how long we chatted for, but my head started swimming mischievously at this deliciously dangerous stranger. When he latched on to my hand, I didn't pull out. He told me he came for the bachelor eve's do from out of town and had a room in the hotel where the eve was being held. "I'm only here for the night', he whispered into my ear. `Why don't we go upstairs for a proper drink?"

"He put his arm around me and stirred me towards the exit. I stumbled along and didn't resist. I was very tipsy. I tripped as we c limbed the stairs and he helped me into his very impressive hotel room. As soon as the door slid shut, his lips found mine.


I snogged him back, feeling drunk, lustful and gorgeous. We made mad passionate love and I must have blacked out. The next thing I realised was waking up the next morning, surveying my surrounds. For a while, I couldn't work out where I was. Then I noticed a scribbled note on the table. `You were sleeping so peacefully I didn't want to wake you up, it said, `You need to check out by noon...

"I felt so ashamed as everything started coming back. I shuddered at what I'd done - sleeping with a total stranger! My head was in my palms when my mobile shrilled. `Afusat', Rolly, my best friend shrieked down the phone.

Will you dump him if he loses his libido!?

VANGUARD Nigeria. Sunday, November 3, 2019

If you're not sexually compatible with your partner, it's going to put a huge strain on your relationship. Goes without saying that sexual satisfaction is really important in keeping both people happy. But what happens if your man suddenly loses his libido or has a sharp drop in his performance level? Will you give him the elbow?!

Opinions are really divided on this. It's easier for a woman to fake orgasm - what with different lubricants that make penetration easy when she suddenly become dry. But, apart from the expensive Viagra, no magic pill will make a man rise to the occasion when he doesn't feel like it.

"Why would the woman stay with someone who's not in sync with her sexually?", asked Mfon, 45, who runs a fairly successful catering outfit. "She'd be better off trying to find someone she's better matched with. Life's too short to be unhappy with a partner who isn't giving you what you need in the bedroom.

"People say relationships are about compromise, but if one person feels they're not getting enough nookie, it could lead to disaster. They might cheat, thereby breaking the trust between them. The person who wants more sex might also feel rejected, which could lower their self-esteem and confidence. They may end up beating themselves up over why they're always being turned down. I know I would. Don't get me wrong, cuddles and kisses are great, but women need to feel desired.

"A pertinent question when faced with this dilemma is: Would your partner make the same sacrifice? Men in particular have a very short fuse when dealing with frigidity. After a couple of kids, you wouldn't expect your partner to be as hot as when you first met. But you hear of men who look for passion elsewhere instead of helping their wives or partners regain their libido. One of such husband explained his reason for taking a second `wife' was because she has a better `fit' when they make love than his legal wife!

"It makes sense for a person with a low libido to be with someone similar because they won't have to feel guilty about constantly shunning their partners advances. If couples are at opposite ends of the scale sex-drive-wise, I reckon it's time to call it a day".

Joy, a 39-year-old beautician, disagrees with Mfon. According to her, sex is not be-all and end-all of a relationship. Being part of a couple is about supporting one another emotionally, loving each other and just enjoying one another's company. Sex seems important at the start, but once a relationship develops, it usually takes more of a backseat. Things like having shared interests, similar values and even the same sense of humour are more important than having in-sync sex drives.

Men beware – Lack of sex can make your woman angry!

By Bunmi Sofola
~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, July 22, 2018.


IT is a well-known fact that sex has come to be an accepted stress reliever. Some mornings, Felicia
confesses she feels so lethargic she has to force herself out of bed. At work, the lethargy turns to irritability and she finds herself snapping at colleagues for no reason before returning home and picking silly arguments with Dan, her husband about dirty dishes and not helping enough with the children. Sound familiar?

While Felicia's mood swings may bear some resemblance to the symptoms of pre-menstrual tension or mild anxiety, they are completely unrelated to her hormones or mental state. Her crushingly low spirits are caused by something else altogether-when she last made love. Too long without sex, and she becomes miserable and fractions. "I feel so low, it's like I'm almost depressed," confesses Felicia, 33, an executive assistant. "On the weekend, I can't be bothered to look after the house or do any house work and I'm so short-tempered and feel angry at Dan for everything.

"At work too, my colleagues detect my change in mood and ask if I'm Ok, and I'll then say I'm feeling a bit low so they won't take it personally." Felicia, a mother of two children aged five and 16 months, said she made the connection between her mood swings and the state of her love life after her children were born. "Before we had children, we'd have sex whenever we wanted and would hardly go a day or two without," she recalls. "But parenthood drained our energy and we'd often be too exhausted.

As the gaps between our lovemaking becomes wider, I noticed the difference in my attitude to Dan. Even when we hadn't had sex for just a week, I'd start to feel like we were drifting apart and it made me frustrated and angry. I worried about everything and whether our relationship was in trouble. It was very frightening. I can see how couples could break up in these circumstances. A 'sex famine' as it's now popularly referred to, is something many exhausted parents can identify with, not to mention couples who've lapsed into a lazy over-familiarity in long relationships."

GYMS – DANGER TO MARRIAGES

Recent studies across the world by a group of Christian Social Women Group has revealed that patronage of gyms are becoming a high risk option to sustainability of marriages.

The health and physical benefits of gyms not withstanding, the gyms are proving to be fertile grounds for infidelity and promiscuity. Some of the observations made are revealing:

First, the gym instructors prey on vulnerable women. A lot of married women have adopted the gym as a panacea to reducing weight and looking cutely attractive. Presumably because their spouses could be more attracted to their new curvy bodies. This makes them vulnerable to predating gym instructors who take advantage and seduce them. Touching the women at their most weakest areas opened them up for abuses and lasciviousness. Women biologically respond to tickles and fondles depending on which part of the body you touch. Gym instructors cunningly and constantly touch these spots when they observed them to break the emotional stability of those women. These over a period opens up those women for abuse. It was observed that these are prevalent with more affluent women and also lonely spouses.

Socialisation – The study also revealed that most marriages have suffered because the men or women have taken the gyms as their main centres of socialisation. When couples don’t find any reliable source of socialisation, they see the gym and the patrons as their most reliable friends, partners and joy. Most couples who attend the gym together do not face this risk. Couples who attend gyms alone are very prone to these dangers. After a period of socialising with the same opposite sex for a time, bonding becomes almost unavoidable. The more they train, chat, drink and sometimes eat together after the physical exercises, they become used to each other and sometimes share their marriage challenges. Unsuspecting partners are taken advantage of through a show of sympathy and sometimes outright deception and ill advice.

Targeting – Some men and women have intentionally joined gyms and clubs purposely to prey on a targeted victim. Many men and women have ignorantly fallen to wicked and deceitful men and women who have targeted them over a period. The targets may not know that these men and women have intentioned to have them for long and unsuspectingly opened up to them as gym mates and friends.

The crackdown on Southern Cameroonians

~ Tribune Nigeria. Thursday, October 12, 2017.

THE axiom that freedom is never willingly given by the oppressor but must be demanded by the oppressed cannot be more apt in dissecting the current crackdown on “dissident” elements in Southern Cameroon. Just like the unsavoury events that followed the independence votes in Kurdistan and Catalonia, Southern Cameroon was a theatre of anguish penultimate week. On October 1, the day some separatist elements in the region sought to symbolically regain their independence from the Republic of Cameroon, the Paul Biya-led government unveiled the state apparatus to crush any dissent. The symbolic declaration of independence was made on social media by one Sisiku Ayuk, the “president” of Ambazonia.

Early this year, the Biya government cut off internet access in the region for three months. It did not even bother to adopt the option of counter narratives to whatever the “separatists” were saying. It announced a temporary restriction on travel and public meetings across the South-West Region. This was after imposing a curfew in the neighbouring North-West Region. Only a fifth of Cameroon’s 22 million people are English-speaking, and the government has always sought to suppress this minority. In 1961, the former British entity, Southern Cameroons, united with Cameroon after its independence from France in 1960. At the inception of the union, the federalist system was adopted, but things were to change in 1974 when a patently fraudulent referendum stage-managed by the centralist government in Yaounde imposed the establishment of the Republic of Cameroon.

The assimilation process, a feature of colonial rule, was adopted by the Yaounde government, along with disparities in many parts of the country’s national life: the distribution and control of oil wealth, education and the judicial system. Believing that the federal arrangement, which would allow them considerable power over their own destiny is the way forward for a united and prosperous Cameroon, the Southern Cameroonians have always staged protests, with a much more hard-line section embracing violent rhetoric and calling for outright secession from the country and the formation of a dream country, Ambazonia. But the central government has never pretended to be enamoured of the federalist proposal, let alone secession. On September 22, as thousands of “Ambazonians” took to the streets in the two English-speaking regions of Cameroon, soldiers reportedly shot at least eight people dead in the restive Anglophone belt, notably Buea in the South-West and Bamenda, the main town in the North-West. Thereafter, teachers and lawyers hit the streets in protest over the use of French in Anglophone schools and courts. This soon mutated into an outright demand for Ambazonia.

Lecturer impregnated me, rejects pregnancy, says nursing student • It wasn't me, I used condom - Lecturer

Written by Samson Folarin
~Punch Nigeria. Monday, May 22, 2017.

A lecturer at the Ogun State College of Health Technology, Ilese Ijebu, Dr Oluseyi Adu, and a Dental Nursing student, Mosunmola, are embroiled in a row over who is responsible for the pregnancy that the nursing student is carrying.

Mosunmola, who is nine months pregnant, alleged that Adu was responsible for the child in her womb, adding that they had sex in a hotel sometime in August, 2016.

READ:

45-year-old man impregnates pupil, insists they are lovers

She said the lecturer beat her up last month when she confronted him at the college for avoiding her, adding that the case was already at the Ilese Police Station.

However, while Adu admitted to having sex with the 28-year-old, he insisted that he used contraceptive, saying the lady seduced him and he gave in to the temptation.

Mosunmola told our correspondent that she underwent a three-year course at the college, adding that several lecturers had asked her out before Adu, but she refused.

She said, "Dr Adu is the Oral Health Coordinator for the college. During my three years study, he taught me two courses each semester. I have never failed his course.

"When I got to second semester, 300 level, he awarded me 38 in one of his courses. I went to his office in August 2016 to know why I failed the course. I needed to pass all my courses to be able to go for my board exam.

"He asked me if I thought I could just come to the school and go like that. He said if I dated him, he would waive the course. He said he didn't approach me in 100 level because another lecturer was interested in dating me.

"The lecturer he mentioned told me in 100 level that it was either I paid him money or used my body to pass his course. Because I didn't agree, I failed his course. I didn't pass it until I got to 300 level.

"I told Adu that I would date him, but I didn't want to have any problem, and he assured me that there would be no regret."

The victim said the lecturer took her to the office of the Head of Department and after some discussions, it was agreed that she could sit for the board exam.

After the board exam at POGIL College of Health Technology, Oke-Eri, Ijebu Ode, on August 21, Adu, who was among those on the panel, was said to have given Mosunmola some of his practical instruments and a laptop for safekeeping.

However, Mosunmola said when the school bus arrived to take the students back to the school, she forgot to give the practical instruments back to the lecturer.

She said Adu later called and asked her to bring the instruments to a hotel where he lodged.

"I was preparing to leave when he called me back that I would be sleeping over with him.

"I met him with another lecturer in my department. I observed that the lecturer also had a female student with him. From the hotel, we went to different places before we finally lodged in another hotel along Ilese Road. While I was with Adu in a room, my other classmate passed the night with the second lecturer in another room.

How to handle a cheating spouse

Written by MOTUNRAYO JOEL 
~Punch Nigeria. Monday, April 10, 2017. 

On June 4, 2015, Mrs. Bukola Yusuf (not real name), a mother of three stormed out of her house in shorts, "I was prepared to engage in a fight with the woman who 'stole' my husband's heart," she told our correspondent.

She said she was fed up with the woman who constantly called and sent messages to her husband's phone.

Yusuf said, "At midnight, my husband's phone would ring; whenever I confronted him about it, he would say, 'It is a useless woman disturbing my phone.' I believed him because I trusted him."

When she discovered that the lady disturbing her peace lived two streets away from hers, she became furious.

"That day-June 4, I was ready to fight; to put an end to everything. But my neighbours stopped me from storming the lady's house," she said.

Little did Yusuf know that her husband was having an affair with the lady. She didn't suspect because he promised her he would never cheat on her. He constantly reassured her of his undying love for her, and like every 'good' wife, she believed him.

"My husband does not have only one girlfriend, I heard he has several girlfriends. I almost lost my mind the period I discovered about his cheating lifestyle. I would cry for days; I felt worthless. He couldn't hold his emotions one night; he blatantly told me that he loves the woman that had been calling his phone. He confessed and said that they met some months ago and that he had been hiding it from me because he didn't want to hurt my feelings," she said.

Yusuf told SUNDAY PUNCH that her husband shares his time between her and his girlfriends.

Yusuf isn't the only one battling with a cheating spouse; Mrs. Toyin Oyebanjo (not real name) is paddling the same boat.

Oyebanjo believes her husband's 'womanising' nature started before they got married. She said she thought he would change.

"I have been married to him for 15 years; we separated for two years. It breaks my heart to say that I've not been happy in my marriage since I got married. People may say I was stupid for marrying him, knowing quite well that he can't remain with one woman. But I thought he would change; I thought his love for me would change him,'' she said.

Affairs with married women are not as 'safe' as men think – Reader

Written by Bunmi Sofola
~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, August 28, 2016.

FROM time to time, I get letters from you readers that are so interesting that I feel I ought to share them with the rest of you. A few days back, a letter simply signed "Iyabode" popped up on my e-mail and I couldn't help chuckling to myself as I read it. She wrote: "Dear Bunmi, I am one of the regular readers of your articles in The Vanguard every Sunday, and I do not even know how fully I can express my feelings about your articles. If I may tell you, they have really improved my lifestyle and I always make copies available to friends whenever the need arises.

Bunmi, I shall be grateful if you can please help write something one of these days on: Why men of today prefer married women as girlfriends. Honestly speaking, it is a vogue in town these days. Please help emphasize on the following points:

Class: This set of married women are known for their own class. Most of them are wives of rich and notorious men. These men also go out at all times with extremely younger girls, leaving their wives and kids at home, thinking that money can fix everything, forgetting about love and happiness.

Sex: This category of ladies are preferred by men because they do have wide sexual experiences and they are very safe as they don't pester the men for marriage.

Fashion: These ladies are very fashion conscious. They are seen in designer dresses and at beauty parlours. They do not mind how much they spend on manicures, pedicures and professionally

Watch out for this suspected ATM fraudster, EFCC warns Nigerians

~PUNCH NIGERIA. Tuesday, July 19, 2016.


The Economic and Financial Crimes Commission has raised the alarm about the activities of identity thieves and automated teller machine fraudsters in the country.

It has also urged Nigerians to be more careful when carrying out transactions via ATMs and to avoid disclosing their Personal Identification Numbers to others.

In a post on its Facebook page, the anti-graft agency drew attention to the activity of one suspected ATM fraudster, who goes by the name Akinade Tofunmi.

The EFCC, which has released images of the suspect, is seeking the cooperation and support of Nigerians to capture her and prevent her from defrauding more people.

The suspected scammer, who is being trailed by the Ibadan Zonal Office of the EFCC, is into identity theft and lurks around the ATMs and Point of Sale machines.

According to the EFFC, Tofunmi, operates late in the night when all bank transactions had closed and preferably over the weekend when her prospective victims may not be able to alert the banks for any unauthorised transaction.

Domestic violence: Why abused men don't talk

Written by Josfyn Uba, Christine Onwuachumba And Bianca Iboma
~The SUN, Nigeria. Thursday, July 7, 2016

There was news about a man whose wife allegedly hacked to death in Ikotun, a suburb of Lagos, for speaking up against her affairs with a younger lover. Mr. Efua Omoghoti, 63, was said to have lost his first wife after 23 years of marriage. She had three boys and a girl for him. He re-married to Maggie, a younger lady. Unfortunately, their union had been saddled with issues of domestic violence and abuse. Residents confirmed that he had been enduring an abusive marriage where he was serially assaulted and emotionally battered by his younger wife until the last quarrel where Maggie hacked him to death in the night. She would insult him publicly at his shop, calling him names and telling him that she only did him a favour by marrying him at an old age. Many times, she had starved him of food and seized his mobile phones, especially when she couldn't get enough money from him. When matters came to a boiling point, the man threatened to divorce her but she vowed not to leave the house. The long arm of the law caught up with Maggie, the embattled mother of two, as the Lagos State Police Command apprehended her.

In another breath, Uwie, a sleepy community in Delta State, once woke up to the shocking news of the death of a 51-year-old lecturer, Mr. Henry Ebenuwa. He was said to have committed suicide because he could not face the public disgrace of his wife's confession to infidelity with his close friends and relatives. The deceased, a father of four, was said to have been subjected to emotional trauma, physical abuse and harassments from his wife, Omiyowa, for the better part of their marriage of a decade and a half years. Fighting and verbal assault were said to have been a trademark of the troubled marriage in their early days. Things got worse when the husband was hit by stroke, which left him incapacitated. From then, he was said to complain about his wife's disloyalty and infidelity. The community was awash with stories of his wife's constant nagging and even starving him of food. When he could not face the shame and humiliation of her public escapades any more, he allegedly ended it all.


These incidents are just some of the many cases of domestic violence that has gradually become regular occurrence in the country. Every week, at least, a domestic abuse case hits the print and electronic media. It is either a husband butchers or chops off his wife's head or wife stabs husband to death, or a 68-year-old man rapes a 12-year-old pupil. It is an endless tale of horrifying news stories and it doesn't seem as if there is an end in sight to some of these bizarre headlines.

Rich kids in sex trade: Why we go into prostitution

Written by Nguamo Aka
~The SUN, Nigeria. Thursday, July 7, 2016

-Wealthy students

Among their fellow students, they stand out as the rich children, who hardly bother about where the funds for their next meal and other basic needs would come from.

Some of them are also popular for their ability to daze greedy lecturers with cash for marks and have their way in tough subjects, no thanks to their affluent parents, who readily load them with money.

Rich kids in sex trade

But their glow stops at that point! For strange reasons, they are also caught in the web of increasing sexual immorality among students, which has turned many of Nigeria's institutions of higher learning into citadels of commercial sex.

These special class of campus prostitutes has become more daring as many of them have devised new and diverse strategies to market their fleshy wares. A recent investigation by Abuja Metro revealed that sex trade among female undergraduates is booming on campuses and even in brothels in the Federal Capital Territory (FCT).

It was discovered that contrary to popular assumption that most female students involved in sex trade are from poor families, checks revealed that students from wealthy and comfortable homes also engage in the filthy lucre.

Ironically, the private universities generally regarded as an exclusive preserve for children of the rich and the affluent, are also caught by the bug and some of them had weird reasons for being involved.

One of them in a private university in Abuja, who gave her name as Linda, told our reporter that she just wanted to be known and respected as a "big girl", adding that her mates get jealous of her whenever she discloses to them, the class of men she goes out with.

ECOWAS court orders Ghana govt to pay family of Nigeria student, Augustine Chukwuebuka Ogukwe, $250,000 over son's death in a swimming incident

Written by Bertram Nwannekanma
~TheGuardian, Nigeria. Tuesday, June 28, 2016

Justice Jerome TraoreJustice Jerome Traore

ECOWAS Court orders Ghana to pay compensation for death of Nigerian student

The Community Court of Justice of the Economic Community Of West African States (ECOWAS) sitting in Abuja has ordered the Republic of Ghana to pay $250,000as compensation to the family of a 15-year old Nigerian student, Augustine Chukwuebuka Ogukwe, who died in a swimming incident onOctober 15, 2013 in Ghana.

The court in a judgmentdelivered byJustice Micah Wilkins Wright, whichwas obtained by The Guardian yesterday, said the compensation is for the failure of the country's police to carry out a proper investigation into the death of the student, thereby failing in its obligation to protect and defend all persons within its territory.

In suit no. ECW/CCJ/APP/03/14, father of the deceased,Mr. Obioma Ogukwe, alleged that he was given an autopsy report issued by the Ghana Police Hospital without his consent or knowledge, which revealed that the basic cause of death was drowning, while the direct cause was asphyxia by submersion.


Led in evidence by his counsel, Mr. Femi Adedeji, the plaintiff also alleged that the physical appearance, contrary to the autopsy report, showed evidence of torture on the body and the wounds on his face and sides were evidence of beating, torture, and gruesome murder.

The truth about early marriage

Written by Josephine Agbonkhese & Anino Aganbi

~Vanguard - Nigeria,  Friday, March 11, 2016

ALMOST everyone in the neighbourhood admired Mariam Adamu (not real names). Her fair-complexion, height and extremely beautiful figure would pass for an international model anytime. Her seven-year-old child seemed a photocopy of her too.

21-year-old Mariam had just moved in with her husband into the neighboured, from a neighbouring city. Hence, neighbours knew practically nothing about her outside her near-goddess beauty.

It wasn't until a couple of years later when her husband took a second wife with whom he later relocated, that the cynosure of all eyes became the centre of real pity; Mariam had been living in unimaginable emotional trauma but was sensible enough to cover-up.

She was living with Vesico Vagina Fistula, VVF, an abnormal fistulous tract extending between the bladder(vesico) and the vagina that allows the involuntary leakage of urine from the vagina. She developed this at childbirth. Her disappointed husband obviously couldn't bear it anymore than abandon her for at least a healthier woman! Poor Mariam died the following year from lack of care.

Victim of early marriage

What tragic end for another unfortunate victim of early marriage! No fewer than 800,000 women in Nigeria, basically for reasons such as Mariam's, suffer from VVF annually in Nigeria, according to a 2015 report by the United Nations Fund for Population Activities, UNFPA.

Also known as child marriage, early marriage, a common phenomenon in some parts of Nigeria, refers to either a formal or informal union entered into by an individual who is less than 18.

There's been a whole lot of controversy surrounding child marriage in Nigeria, with some endorsing it on the basis of religion even as the 1999 Constitution Section 49 4(b) remains confused about it after stymied attempts at its deletion by the senate. Notwithstanding, statistics and background checks on victims of child marriage identify socio-economic factors as major drivers.

This doctor does not fancy your coffin

Written by Biodun Ogungbo Punch, Nigeria.  Monday, March 7, 2016 Biodun Ogungbo Doctors are in the business of keeping people alive. So, it hurts when a patient dies. It is more painful when the death was perhaps avoidable. For instance, the person could die due to lack of finance or ignorance influenced by poor judgment when they were sick. Like delay in treatment often caused by visits to the pastor and the herbalist. Many times this makes the problem to be more complicated and more dangerous to your health. Simple problems that require simple solutions are allowed to get out of hand. Therefore, let me beseech you not to invite me to your funeral. I will not attend! I have buried one person too many and that is enough. Thank you very much. The only funeral I am waiting for and will definitely be in attendance is mine. A great event Funerals should be sombre affairs but have become commercialised in Nigeria. They are now pretty fanfares and, as you can imagine, a lot of fancy, competitive funerals happen in this country. Our funeral is bigger and better than yours! You could spend your time moving from one funeral to another and be pretty well-fed. You could even be well-clothed and get enough plastic to start small restaurant. However, let us dig a little deeper. A woman died recently from stroke, a consequence of hypertension. I heard someone infer that she was afflicted with 'juju'; that she stepped on some charms which paralysed her arm and leg. Foolish thoughts! As you may well know, hypertension (high blood pressure) can lead to stroke, heart attack and sudden death.

Orgasm makes people reveal top secrets - Experts

Written by Tunde Ajaja - Nigeria

Getting a partner to reveal a (deep) secret seems to have gone beyond the conventional ways, such as intense persuasion, optimism, kneeling down, gift sharing, nice treat and even a promise of reward, among others.

There seems to be an easier, sweeter, cheaper and more affordable way to get a partner to share such secrets. A study carried out by some scientists from the University of Connecticut, United States, showed that having orgasm during sex could make people to reveal important information, like their deepest secrets.

Notably, it is not uncommon to hear people having sex say things that they would not have said ordinarily or make promises that they might not even remember after that session, possibly due to the ecstatic feeling associated with sex. Perhaps, this is the main reason why people say the worst time to ask if a partner loves you is during sex.

Orgasm, the principal word in the findings of the study, is the climax of sexual excitement, characterised by intensely pleasurable feelings centred in the genitals and (in men) experienced as an accompaniment to ejaculation.

Both men and women can reach orgasm, maybe at different times, because men have been found to reach that euphoric destination in a shorter time than women do, and theirs, according to findings, might require some additional efforts like clitoral stimulation.

Regardless, with the findings of the study, it thus appears that there is no end to the benefits derivable from sex. This is because previous studies have pointed out that apart from procreation and the enormous pleasure that sex offers, it is a good form of exercise.

Bag ladies beware!.

Written by 'Nimi Akinkugbe

Nimi Akinkugbe has extensive experience in private wealth management. She seeks to empower people regarding their finances and offers frank, practical insights to create a greater awareness and understanding of personal finance. For more personal finance tips, contact Nimi:

Email: info@moneymatterswithnimi

Website: www.moneymatterswithnimi.com

Twitter / Instagram: @MMWITHNIMI

Facebook: MoneyMatterswithNimi

Bola was at her friend's father's 80th birthday party last Saturday night. It was a huge party in the banquet hall of a major hotel. Hundreds of people were milling around, the music was far too loud and there was much food, drink and festivity.

The master of ceremonies announced a special dance for the celebrant's children and their friends. Bola is usually very careful with her handbag "discretely" placed it under the draped table by her seat, assuming that no one was watching. Her secure world changed in an instant.

What was stolen?

Bola's handbag and all its contents were stolen including her Passport: she had recently returned from a trip abroad and had not changed her handbag. Other items included an ostrich skin wallet with cash sums of N16,000, $610 and £400, three bank debit cards linked to her current accounts, one credit card, an iphone 6 and a blackberry, both without password protection, her Driving Licence, Vehicle Insurance Card, Tax ID Card, car keys, house and office keys, a bank statement addressed to her home address, company photo ID card with the company address, mini Canon digital camera with hundreds of photos from her recent holiday, iPad mini, reading glasses, Versace sunglasses, make up bag, pocket diary and address book, and two phone chargers.

Men throng Radio Station in Kano after lady promises car, house to suitor

A REALLY funny situation played out at the Freedom FM radio station in Kano earlier yesterday when over 100 male listeners of the station rushed to besiege the premises of the organization.

The men, who flooded to the station, according to an On-Air Personality with the radio station, a lady on a radio show called 'Inda Ranka', a lifestyle programme, had jokingly announced that she would give any man who marries her a car and a house.

Within a twinkle of an eye, the men had rushed down to the station, hoping to meet the lady and express their intention of marrying her.

The men even wrote down their names on a sheet of paper to be presented to the lady so that she could interview them on a first come, first served basis.

Even when some management officials of the station told them the statement was made jokingly, the men refused to leave until they had to be dispersed by the police," pulse.ng reported.

Here is what the OAP wrote on his twitter handle: "These pple came 2 FreedomRadio after a girl on air said she'll buy a car, house 4 whoever marries her."

What people do in the name of God

Written By Chidi Nkwopara, Owerri, Laju Arenyeka, Osa AMADI - Vanguard Nigeria

Stella Nnedum craved for all good things including good health for her fiance, Michael (surname withheld).

She wanted him to know that she cared for him. She also didn’t want anything to stand in their way to the altar and so she worked to make him strong and unwavering. But she feared that if Michael adhered to the advice of some people around him he could change his mind about their marriage. And one way to get things done was to lure him to a seer, a prophetess of some sort who would guide them and probably make sure he ignored all distractions that could threaten their planned marriage.

Michael did not believe in seers. He did not even believe in witchcraft, fetish or any voodoo phenomenon.

It was difficult to convince him to follow her to a seer. But like it was in the beginning of time with Adam and Eve, Stella succeeded in luring Michael to the seer in Olodi Apapa Area of Lagos.

"Some people would be against their marriage and they would work for it not to happen," the seer told them, warning that something bad could happen to them if they did not start praying immediately as some people were already after them. The seer also told them that only prayers could see them surmount the forces against their marriage. She even said that they were not meant for each other but prayers could change everything "as there’s nothing God cannot do".

And for the back pane that Michael was having at the time, the seer told them that it was the handiwork of his people from the village and that he needed to come regularly for prayers to be healed. Michael and Stella left and promised to return for prayers.

Did the seer succeed in creating fears into this couple so that they could always visit and sow seed during prayers?

If Stella fell for it, Michael did not.

When they got home, Michael bared his mind to Stella: "I did not give any background to the seer on my back pain and she goofed big time. My back pain is as a result of an old sports injury that comes and goes from time to time. And here was somebody telling me that my people in the village were sending pains to me? And all the story about the forces against the marriage is for us to be coming regularly for prayers after which one must make offertory. This is how these people operate. They live by creating fear into people, prophesying falsely and reaping victims off"

'…Well, the sex was good'

Lola and I hit it off from the moment we met. She is both lovely and lively. We shared so much in common, from a love for tasty fiesta to an addiction to John Grisham and Sidney Sheldon novels. We loved to gossip and got to all kinds of mischief. Then she got married and moved outside Lagos. We gradually lost touch. We exchanged visits especially during our child bearing years but not as much as we'd have wanted. 

The last time I saw Lola, I knew something was wrong. I'd suspected all along that her marriage wasn't what she expected it to be but then most marriages aren't. There was this sorrow, deep sadness in her eyes that she refused to talk about. The years flew past and then I heard my friend was relocating abroad. She only told me it was for her to do her Masters, then she stayed back and did her Ph.D. After that all went quiet. Until last weekend, when she called me out of the blues, all excited, all bubbly, reminding me of all those old girly jokes. To shorten a long story, we eventually hooked up and Lola finally told me a long story of 15 years of emotional and physical abuse, mental torture in the hands of the man she married, the handsome man she married.

An incredible story it was and I am persuading her to let us do a television series with it. It is pathetic. It is painful. I still can't believe the fine-boy-no-pimples guy she married was capable of doing the things Lola said he did. But she's got scars to show for it and she walks with a limp now too. Mr Fine Boy once pushed her down the staircase to show who was boss. For 15 years, Lola stayed in that marriage. Why, I asked. And Lola's answer was the craziest reason I'd ever heard.

Protecting his manhood

Today, I am worried about our sons, today's young men. I am truly worried and every mother should pause, take a closer look at her sons and daughters and answer this question: are you empowering your son for the journey ahead of him? Answer truthfully, after all you are alone and you don't have to let anybody hear you. I think Nigerian mothers have not done well raising future husbands and fathers. Let's admit it, we have not scored above average, that is if we achieved average at all.

Take a closer look at your beautiful daughter and your handsome six-footer son. Who is better prepared for the task ahead? I know some of us had realised this and have done better than others but most Nigerian mothers need to buckle up. Our sons are not what they should be and we cannot have the society, the country we desire when we put unprepared men and overgrown boys in positions of authority. I'll explain myself.

In too many homes, the wives are the bread winners. Too many women are paying the rent and picking bills that make a man the man. We do not need figures from the Office of Statistics because I know every woman in this country knows at least one family where the man is not truly the head. He is just a figure head. And every man who is a figure head is a sad commentary on his mother. Every young husband who waits for his wife to draw her monthly check before the monthly shopping can be done is a figure head, a proceed of a failed mother. That is harsh, right? Yeah, I know there is a place for God in what man becomes in life. It is from Him all blessings flow and only He gives power to make wealth. But did you, madam, even teach your son that simple fact or are you too busy preparing your daughter for marriage in addition to her getting the added advantage of attending the same Ivy League schools like his brothers? A son attends Babcock University in Nigeria or Imperial College in United Kingdom with a daughter but the daughter is trained to cook, pamper a man, be nice to in-laws and bring up children, all while she's getting a degree. The son learns how to play basket ball and wash a car. The daughter learns how to bake and how to make hair and do make-up. Girls with Masters degrees see nothing wrong in going to learn dress making . Boys dust their CVs and write glowing stuff about themselves and send out thousands of job applications.