Catholic Church does not support IVF - Fr. Nnemeka

By Samson Folarin
PUNCH Nigeria. Tuesday, March 19, 2019

The parish priest of St. Cyprian Catholic Church, Oko-Oba, Agege, Rev. Fr. Augustine Nnemeka, has
said it is wrong for members of the Catholic Church to go for In Vitro Fertilisation in order to have children.

The cleric also noted that impotence was enough ground to dissolve a marriage, as he urged intending couples to carry out adequate medical tests before consummating their union.

He spoke on Saturday during a seminar on marriage and family life, organised by the Catholic Men Organisation, an arm of the church.

The seminar, themed, 'Understanding Catholic Marriage and Upholding the Family,' was held on the church's premises.

Nnemeka, during a question and answer session, said impotence and impediments could make the church annul a marriage, adding that an impotent man was not qualified for marriage.

On IVF, he said, "The church does not support it. It has to be natural. When we defined marriage, we said it is for the good of the spouses and procreation. And I simplified it by calling it love-sharing and life-giving. The outcome of love-sharing is life-giving.

"There are some that have done it (IVF) and paid millions without results, because it is not even automatic. The church, however, does not permit all these genetic engineering. I believe saying this will help members who did not know it is wrong to change their mind in case they are thinking of it."

He appealed to parents not to mount pressure on their children, thereby forcing them into marriages they are unprepared for.

The cleric told our correspondent that there was the need for constant enlightenment of couples to build stable homes and a strong society.

The Chairman of the Catholic Men Organisation, Chidi Ekenedo, said many marriages were collapsing due to impatience.

"We know that marriages are facing a lot of challenges in Nigeria and a lot of factors are responsible, which could be economic, social, financial, spiritual or material. Some marriages are facing pressures and tensions and breaking down.

'We decided to put this together to encourage couples and intending couples to be patient and adhere to the teachings of the church on marriage. We want them to know the importance of commitment and effective verbal communication in marriage," he added.

Know your Rhesus factor

By Dr Rotimi Adesanya
~Punch Nigeria. WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 5, 2018.

Dr Rotimi Adesanya

About 95 per cent of Nigerians are Rhesus Disease positive. The remaining five per cent are RhD
negative. There is a need to encourage parents, especially mothers, to know their blood groups and Rhesus factors because it could help to reduce or prevent cases of mortality.

I have on several occasions seen patients request information on their blood groups. Not one person ever mentioned his Rhesus factor as the reason making the request.

A popular Chinese proverb says "The beginning of health is to know the disease". This explains why it is important for everybody to be aware of this condition.

There are several different types of human blood. The four main blood groups are:

blood group A
blood group B
blood group AB
blood group O
Each of these blood groups can either be RhD positive or RhD negative. The RhD is a protein that is either present or absent on the surface of the red blood cells. This is indicated by a plus sign + or a minus sign -. The blood type O+ means that the blood is type O and each blood cell has RhD positive.

A simple blood test can tell if a woman is RhD negative. Every woman should be tested at her first prenatal visit, or before pregnancy, to find out if she is Rh-negative. The RhD negative gene is recessive, while the RhD positive gene is dominant. This means that there is a chance that a woman who is RhD negative will give birth to a RhD positive child.

A person who is RhD negative may have an immune reaction if RhD positive blood cells enter his bloodstream. A pregnant woman's body considers the RhD positive cells a threat and it mounts an immune system response. Her immune system makes antibodies, also known as anti-RhD antibodies, against the cells. If the woman conceives another RhD-positive baby, her anti-D antibodies will attack her unborn baby's red blood cells. Such complication is also known as the Haemolytic disease of the newborn.

The Rhesus disease destroys foetal red blood cells. It was once considered to be a leading cause of foetal and newborn deaths. Without treatment, severely affected foetuses are often stillborn.

In the newborn, Rh disease can result in jaundice (yellowing of the skin and eyes), anaemia, brain damage, heart failure and death. It can also affect the mother's mental state. Most mothers are always depressed after such a loss.

Infertility in women caused by endocrine systems

Written by Oladapo Ashiru
~PUNCH Nigeria. WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 21, 2018.

Dr  Oladapo Ashiru

The most common cause of infertility in women is their inability to produce eggs that are normal. Egg production disorders are among the most common reasons why women are unable to conceive. They also account for more than 30 per cent of cases involving female infertility.

Fortunately, approximately 70 per cent of these cases can be successfully treated by using drugs that support ovulation. Many pharmaceutical industries continue to produce or import many of such drugs regularly. The drugs include clomid, gonadotropins, such as menogon, follitrope, folligraft and gonal F, as well as several other FSH (follicle stimulating hormone) containing hormone injections. Anovulation (inability to ovulate) can be due to four major factors categorised as follows:

Hormonal factors

These are the most common causes of anovulation. As explained in my doctoral dissertation, the ovulatory mechanism is controlled by a complex balance of hormones and like an orchestra in a symphony, any disruption in this process can hinder ovulation. The hormones are released by the endocrine glands in the body, starting from the brain, hypothalamus, pituitary, thyroid, pancreatic islets cells, adrenal glands and the gonads. There are three main sources causing this problem:

a) Failure to produce mature eggs
In approximately 50 per cent of the cases of anovulation, the ovaries do not produce normal follicles in which the eggs can mature. Ovulation is rare if the eggs are immature and the chance of fertilisation becomes almost non-existent. Even when we give a substantial amount of ovulatory support to hormones like FSH, we may obtain as many as 12 eggs, for instance, and only seven will be fully mature, while five of them will be immature eggs that cannot be fertilised by using "brute force" with Intra cytoplasmic sperm injection.


Polycystic ovary syndrome is the most common disorder responsible for this problem. It includes symptoms, such as amenorrhoea, hirsutism, anovulation and infertility.

This syndrome is characterised by a reduced production of FSH and normal or increased levels of LH, estrogen and testosterone. The current hypothesis is that the suppression of FSH associated with this condition causes only partial development of the ovarian follicles and follicular cysts, which can be detected in an ultrasound scan.

The affected ovary often becomes surrounded with a smooth white capsule and it is double its normal size. The increased level of oestrogen raises the risk of breast cancer. This condition has also been linked with inadequate carbohydrate metabolism, especially with resistance to Insulin. Insulin is the hormone produced in the body to help us to manage our sugar intake. This has been successfully managed by the dietary regulation, detoxification and the use of anti-diabetic drugs like metformin. The thyroid gland and the adrenal gland also play a significant role in the manifestations of some of the infertility problems at the level.

When another baby fails to come

By Dr. Abayomi Ajayi 
Phone: 01-4667360, 07026277855 
Email: info@nordicalagos.org
~Punch Nigeria. SUNDAY, OCTOBER 14, 2018

 Dr. Abayomi Ajayi 

There is always a feeling of joy when years of struggle with pregnancy are followed by conception, pregnancy and birth of a baby with ease. A woman that has never conceived and has difficulty conceiving has primary infertility. However, there are several women that have trouble conceiving again after their first or subsequent pregnancy. This is known as secondary infertility. Many people think primary infertility is more common than secondary infertility.

Whether or not they are right is debatable. However, one thing that is certain is that primary and secondary infertility, though common, can be adequately diagnosed and treated.

Primary infertility is when a woman has never been pregnant and is having difficulty to conceive. Secondary infertility, on the other hand, is the inability of a woman that has had at least one pregnancy, but is unable to become pregnant or carry another baby to term after at least one year of trying. Both primary and secondary infertility share a number of similar causes.

Why am I unable to conceive this time round? This is one of the biggest questions in the minds of men and women that experience secondary infertility. People may wonder why these women are trying so hard and why they cannot just relax. This, again, is not easy to answer.

I have interacted with several women diagnosed with secondary infertility and one thing I can confirm is that secondary infertility is as big a problem as primary infertility. Secondary infertility can be unexpected and stressful as much as it can be confusing and shocking. It is logical to ask why a couple that had no trouble getting pregnant the first time is now struggling.

About one in 10 couples that already have a child experiences secondary infertility. Worse still, for one reason or the other, couples experiencing secondary infertility may be more likely to delay seeking help. They may also find that friends, family, and even doctors downplay their fertility struggles. But whether you're struggling for child number one, or number two, or a higher number, there is often anxiety and grief to confront at every point.

When your teenage girl turns a monster you hardly recognise

Written by Bunmi Sofola
~Vanguard Nigeria. SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 9, 2018.

Will every parent ever be able to take the trauma of their adolescent girl's climb to puberty in their stride?  One minute she's in braids and school uniform, the next she's dressed and acting like a prospective Nollywood Star!. Amarachi, a typical modern day mum of two teenage girls and a grown up son prided herself on being a well-grounded mum and brooked no nonsense from her kids.  "I might have been born with the so-called proverbial silver-spoon but my mum never hesitated in thumping us whenever we got out of line", she said. "We were all a bit afraid of her and tried as much as possible not to give her the opportunity to put a lump of disapproval on our scalps through her knuckles.

"Thanks to her, I thought I was as stern with our kids until a few weeks ago when I opened my laptop to discover that Joyce my last child had inadvertently left her Fackbook and other social networking sites logged on.  Unbeknown to her, I was able to see right in front of me everything she and her friends had written in recent weeks.  It's happened before whenever she's failed to subscribe to her I-Phone and had to use my laptop - affording me the rare opportunity to have surreptitious check on her increasing private adolescent world.

"Only things were different this time.  In place of the usual banter, peppered with infuriating teenage acronyms, was a stream of comments, crystal clear in their meaning. They were vicious and cruel observations attacking Joyce for what she'd worn on her recent 16th birthday party.


"Some of the girls told her, in no uncertain terms that she'd dressed like a `slut, a `tart with no self-respect' and that her parents must be ashamed to have a daughter who `looked like a prostitute'.  The attacks on my daughter were part of a new trend known as `slut shaming' fuelled by blogging websites which teenagers post vicious criticisms online, targeting peers they deem to be dressing too provocative or wearing too much make-up.

"I was shocked and deeply upset to see my daughter being bullied like this - yet deep down, I couldn't help feeling her accusers had a point. For on the day of her `6th birthday, Joyce had dressed too provocatively. The outfit she'd chosen to wear, without my consent, had utterly floored me. I should have seen this coming though. last year, she'd transformed almost overnight from a little girl into a tall adolescent with impressive boobs and an amazing figure - which she seems hell-bent on exposing as much as possible. As a result, it's practically impossible for her to leave the house whenever she's on holidays without a fierce alteration. I would yell: `You're not going out dressed like that, put more clothes on!' She would stomp upstairs to change, before shoving the offending outfit into her bag - no doubt to put back on the moment I've vanished from sight.

She did what she had to do to give her kids a better life!

Diary of a Divorced City Girl
~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, July 15, 2018.

WOULD you do anything to make your kids happy – however sordid you believe such things to be? A few years ago, Denike, a teaching assistant at a private primary school resigned and started a sort of petty trading. "We had the front two rooms in the house we moved to after Dele, my husband, was medically discharged from the armed forces and the little money he had ran out", she explained.
"I started with running a small canteen in front of the house but the landlord kicked against it because of the fire hazard it created. Then I started retail trading but the profits weren't much to look after us all – four children in total. I felt guilty every time I had to tell my children we couldn't afford little treats they'd taken for granted. Out of frustration, I confided in a former colleague at the school. She earned the same salary I did but had told me she also had a part-time job that paid fairly well. I wanted her to find out if there was a chance of my being employed.

"She didn't even bat an eyelid before explaining what she did. She worked at a private club that offered massages to members. It was right in the middle of town and was always busy. She could take me there if I was keen. Of course there was a catch. As well as massaging the clients, I would have to provide extras too. After giving it a thought, I said I would do anything but full sex. I would be okay with a bit of touching, but I couldn't go that far. It still didn't stop me from being nervous though. I remember my first time with a man – massaging his back, hardly knowing what to do as he tried to slip his hand up my skirt. He then pleasured himself on me. I felt dirty and violated.


"I was screaming inside. I just wanted to run from that room, go home and never came back. Then I remembered the toys my kids wanted that Christmas. I imagined their eyes lighting up as I handed them their presents on their wish list. When the man had finished, I cleaned up, took the cash from him as he left. I was a bit relieved it was ready cash. Pure profit so to speak. It was an encouraging start.

"Over the next few months, I saw more men. Some just wanted a massage and a fondle, others were after more. I still didn't feel comfortable enough to have sex with a stranger though. But the more I worked the more relaxed I was about the idea. My colleague assured me what 1 was earning were peanuts compared to what 1 would get if I went the whole way. And about three months after starting, I was finally ready to take the plunge. At least, I thought I was. That morning, I was a wreck. I couldn't eat much. Every time I thought about a stranger on top of me, I broke out in a cold sweat.

What are your kids watching?

Onoshe Nwabuikwu
~Punch Nigeria. Sunday, July 8, 2018.

Onoshe Nwabuikwu

The kids are home or will soon be home for the summer holidays or what we used to call 'long vacation. So, it's that time of the year and we get to have this conversation again. On one hand, parents are happy that the kids are home. On the other hand, how best to occupy or entertain them is a real and pressing challenge. Add the fact that some children will end up spending up to seven or more weeks at home and you can picture some parents feeling the 'long' in the long vacation.

My immediate concern of course is what kids watch on television. Do you know what your children are watching on TV? Are they watching programmes/films/shows appropriate for their ages? This would mean that you - the parents - know what's appropriate.

Knowing what's age-appropriate has been made easier by satellite/cable television since most shows have the ratings displayed. I always remind parents that those ratings are not just designs on the screen; they serve as guidance. However, you also have a right to decide what's appropriate for your own kids. Just because a programme is rated a certain age category does not mean you, the parent, shouldn't decide whether it's appropriate for your child/ren.

That's the easier part. What about stations on terrestrial TV, which don't have ratings? Not only that, they are not always sensitive to when kids could be watching TV. Surely, it's not so impossible for TV stations to actually have a holiday programme schedule? After all, summer holidays come every year.

Still making parents' lives more interesting is the fact that TV has fast moved from the good old box in the living room to all kinds of devices at kids' fingertips. The typical Nigerian parent, especially those who want to show they've 'arrived', buys the latest gadgets for their kids. So, in addition to knowing the content of what your kids are watching on TV, think iPads, smartphones and laptops, too.

At the end of the day, parents do have the most important task of ensuring that their kids watch clean TV. It isn't that they have to turn policemen. Even that would not be enough to keep kids from all the sleaze on the airwaves. A good plan is carrying the children along. As clichéic and Nigerianese as that sounds, it simply means letting the kids know the risks involved in watching certain programmes etc.

This should be an ongoing conversation which should also entrust some of the responsibilities of doing the right thing on the children. And it actually helps to begin this conversation/negotiation as early as possible. The idea is that you're not helpless and should not be a hapless receptor of garbage disguised as entertainment.

Where exactly are the wife materials?!

Diary of a Divorced City Girl by Emmanuel Okogba
~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, June 17, 2018.

HAVE you noticed it's taking men a long time to settle down these days and make an honest woman of one of the 'catches' they always have on the leash? When Joseph hit his 30s, I often counselled him on the advantages of settling down and having all his children whilst he was young. "What's the hurry," he always told me.
A suave gentleman with a good job and a nice to-die-for pad, he believed it wouldn't be an effort to meet a partner when he was good and ready to settle down. He recently hit 40, and a dad to an adorable son whose mother doesn't want to get married! "I couldn't really believe it when she told me", Joseph said, scandalised. "I was too old for her? Too old?

She was in her mid 20s, when we met and already had a child.

"When she became pregnant, I grudgingly decided to ask her to be my wife thinking she would be grateful to have a stepfather for her child. She was also for it at first, but after she had the child, she told me she didn't think I was financially buoyant enough to look after her and two children. That her furniture business was doing well and she would rather be on her own. I was free to visit my son any time I wished and contribute to his upbringing. I was speechless. Not even my mother could talk her round. She's put a big dent in my self-esteem, I tell you! I'm now 40 and don't think I'll ever have a genuine girlfriend to make my wife. I want to settle down and have children by one woman. As things are now, it seems I've mucked up and made a mess of my future. It's true I loved clubbing and each weekend, I'd take home a different girl and we'd have a great time.


"I was young and all I wanted was sex and more sex and I didn't see anything wrong with what I was doing – that was until now. To my embarrassment, I've discovered, that no decent girl will come near me. Yes, I do get girls, but they've been around a bit, and I've slept with most of them. Just before the end of the year, I went to an office and met a lot of girls having a natter. It so happened that, out of the seven of them, I'd slept with five.

"They greeted me warmly but I was shaking in my shoes with embarrassment. I was sure that as soon as I left, they'd be having a good gossip at my expense! I don't want that kind of life again. I know its' my fault that I suddenly found myself out of the market. I mean, I never dreamt I would get involved with a single mother, not to think of such a person giving me the elbow!

What you expect from your marriage is not what you often get!

Written by Bunmi Sofola
~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, June 17, 2018.

Couple

WILL the average person experiencing problems in their relationship know the right time to walk away? It goes without saying that divorce now is quick and with little rancour, single parenthood is on the increase and more men opt for the single life despite the fact that eligible women are two a penny (seemingly). Yet, never before has there been that fear of uncertainty in abandoning a relationship that was obviously going nowhere than now. A few months ago, I ran into a friend's daughter and asked after her mother.

Sheepishly, she told me it was a long time she saw her mother last as she was now living with her fiance. That would have been perfectly in order if it was what she wanted too. "I would have preferred for us to get married", she shrugged, "but he doesn't want to commit himself until I'm pregnant".

What happens if she gets pregnant, gets married, and later has a miscarriage? Will the man abandon her some two years later if she can't conceive again? These questions and lots more ran through my mind but I didn't want to make the poor girl more miserable than she already was. She is currently hopping from one gynaecologist to the other and when I asked her if the love of her life had gone for a test too, she said it wasn't necessary as he'd already fathered a child. I wanted to tell her that was no proof. That I knew a few 'surrogate' fathers who'd made a few 'barren' women mothers. The legal fathers are none the wiser and the mothers are now free of criticisms and jibes from their in-laws. Their marriage seems to be on an even keel.

The situation that gives a lot of concern is where the couples know that their marriage is lying on its back with its hooves virtually in the air but sit tight and hope that things will get better.

Unfortunately, they seldom do. Boma, a retired industrial nurse in her 60s now sits alone in her lovely house, wishing she'd had the common sense to kick her wayward husband out of their matrimonial home when she realized he was a bum despite the fact that he was a medical doctor. "I had a very shrewd father who believed in putting a bit by for the rainy day", she said. "When I was working after my training in England, he was always urging me to save and send whatever I could home so he could buy me some property. His letter bothered on an irritation at times but his insistence goaded me into doing temporary jobs – and petty-trading along with my regular job so I could send him money. He always made up for the balance and thanks to him, when we came back, I had a few plots of land here and there.

GYMS – DANGER TO MARRIAGES

Recent studies across the world by a group of Christian Social Women Group has revealed that patronage of gyms are becoming a high risk option to sustainability of marriages.

The health and physical benefits of gyms not withstanding, the gyms are proving to be fertile grounds for infidelity and promiscuity. Some of the observations made are revealing:

First, the gym instructors prey on vulnerable women. A lot of married women have adopted the gym as a panacea to reducing weight and looking cutely attractive. Presumably because their spouses could be more attracted to their new curvy bodies. This makes them vulnerable to predating gym instructors who take advantage and seduce them. Touching the women at their most weakest areas opened them up for abuses and lasciviousness. Women biologically respond to tickles and fondles depending on which part of the body you touch. Gym instructors cunningly and constantly touch these spots when they observed them to break the emotional stability of those women. These over a period opens up those women for abuse. It was observed that these are prevalent with more affluent women and also lonely spouses.

Socialisation – The study also revealed that most marriages have suffered because the men or women have taken the gyms as their main centres of socialisation. When couples don’t find any reliable source of socialisation, they see the gym and the patrons as their most reliable friends, partners and joy. Most couples who attend the gym together do not face this risk. Couples who attend gyms alone are very prone to these dangers. After a period of socialising with the same opposite sex for a time, bonding becomes almost unavoidable. The more they train, chat, drink and sometimes eat together after the physical exercises, they become used to each other and sometimes share their marriage challenges. Unsuspecting partners are taken advantage of through a show of sympathy and sometimes outright deception and ill advice.

Targeting – Some men and women have intentionally joined gyms and clubs purposely to prey on a targeted victim. Many men and women have ignorantly fallen to wicked and deceitful men and women who have targeted them over a period. The targets may not know that these men and women have intentioned to have them for long and unsuspectingly opened up to them as gym mates and friends.

Tribal considerations in choosing a spouse

DOLAPO AKITOYE writes about the roles tribal factors play in choosing a spouse
~Punch Nigeria. Sunday, April 22, 2018.

Culture has always been an important part of the Nigerian society. It governs the way people live their lives. Culture encompasses many aspects of life such as language, food, religion and ways of life. Nigeria is known as the most populous African country with over 300 tribes. It is little wonder that it is referred to as the Giant of Africa.

Every Nigerian citizen belongs to a tribe and members of that tribe incorporate parts of their tribal aspects in their lives including marriage. Marriage is one of the oldest institutions in the world and it involves the coming together of a man and a woman to become one. This means that the two people come together to merge not only themselves but everything relating to them plus their cultures.

It is not uncommon in Nigeria to see families insisting that their children marry from their tribes.

A psychologist at the University of Nigeria, Nsukka, Dr. Val Eze, said in the past, especially during the pre-colonial era, ethnic affiliation rooted in traditional, cultural and religious ethos, directed how people selected their partners.

He explained that such was important at the time because the fact that somebody came from a certain tribe had some socio-cultural implications.

Eze stated, "The way a certain group of people behave is determined by their culture, traditions and their social ways of living. If that is the case, it means that an ethnic group is known for certain deviant or anti-social behaviour. It was believed in those times that if a person was chosen from that tribe, he or she might have those traits.''

He added that these cultural tenets were no longer as they used to be due to globalisation and modernity.

"These days, people can meet each other and decide to get married, regardless of tribe, even if their parents refuse," he said.

An Igbo lady, Ada Okoli, who is set to marry a Yoruba man this year, told SUNDAY PUNCH that tribe or ethnicity could not be a factor for her in selecting a partner.

"I've never really cared about that. I'm more interested in who my partner is as opposed to where he comes from," she stated.

About Time You Knew Dad Too Had Something To Do With That Adorable New Baby!

Written by Bunmi Sofola
~vanguard nigeria. Sunday, April 15, 2018.

FINDINGS have shown that becoming a father is a major life event which changes family relationships, brings new responsibilities and has a major economic impact on the new parents.

Men have their own needs as new fathers, yet can also lack information about how they can support their partners. Michael 26, was totally unprepared for fatherhood when Sammy, his 23- year-old undergraduate wife suddenly discovered she was pregnant.

"Sammy and I had been together for two years when she got pregnant. She was studying to become a teacher and I'd just got a fairly good job after my youth service," explained Michael.

"Sammy told her parents and they informed mine. All of a sudden, wedding plans were being made – and it had to happen before the baby arrived. It didn't seem real. Marriage was the furtherest thought on my mind. I would have preferred we were both working but here was Sammy starting to look pregnant. Would our lives change much? Even though we both have caring families, my main worry was supporting the three of us on my new salary that was scarcely enough for my needs. Once in a while, I asked myself: 'What have I done?'

"The wedding was a blur – it was something I had to get over with. My worry now was the baby and how I'd cope with the birth. Would I let my new wife down by being too squeamish? In the end, our son's birth was the most powerful, moving event of my entire life. Like most new fathers, I was present at the birth and I'm not ashamed to admit I cried.

"When we brought the baby to our new flat, I felt a bit sidelined. The whole focus of both families was on the baby – and then my wife. No one seemed interested in me.

"It may sound selfish but my life had changed over-night too, and I had no idea what my new role was. I was a bit lost. Since then however, I've realised being a dad means getting on with it. And it's hard work, believe me. I had to learn to change nappies, prepare his food when he was weaned off breast milk and give him his bath when I could. We are lucky that our son is not one of the screamy type, still both of us are exhausted – no thanks to househelps who seem to up and go whenever they feel like it.

"But my wife and I are finding our feet, but I feel the pressure being the only wage earner. My mum and my wife's mum take turns looking after the baby when Sammy returned to schooL Her main worry is her post-baby stomach but I assure her always she looks good to me. Her body makes me love her even more – a proof she brought our child into the word. To be honest, I found the news I was going to be a dad scary and bewildering – but it is a wonderful experience. When my son, who now crawls all over the place, gives me his toothy smile, everything suddenly seems worth it. I know I have to do my best for him for the rst of my life. And that's something that comes naturally - eventually"!

Could you be better friends after your divorce?

Written by Bunmi Sofola
~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, January 14, 2018.

THE major reason married couples divorce is that they couldn't stand each other when they were married. Most marriages could be acrimonious, but there are some couples who got along better now they don't have the responsibilities that committed relationships bring. Mandy, 42 and Frank 39 swore they've forged a close friendship, even though Frank walked out on her when their second daughter was only four.

"I was distraught when Frank left me four years ago," confessed Mandy. "I had recently suffered a miscarriage and was really depressed. On top of which the doctors had really advised 1 shouldn't try for another baby at my age"'. That made me feel really old and emphasised that at 35, Frank would think his child-bearing age was over. We already had two adorable daughters, would he want a son like most men?

"Frank assured me he'd got all the family he ever wanted and 1 relaxed. A couple of years later however, 1 got the news that shattered everything. A friend called she was just from a naming ceremony where the new dad was Frank. And you guessed it, the new tot was a boy! Frank didn't know her, so she was able to give a blow-by-blow account of the ceremony. 1 literally died inside.

How could he? After he'd assured me he was fine the way things were? 1 didn't even suspect he was having a serious affair. This was a man who, even in my darkest moments was there, assuring me 1 could count on him.

"When he eventually showed up and I addressed him by the name of his new son, he was taken aback. Then he became defiant. He told me he didn't ask for what happened, but when one of his mistresses became pregnant and refused an abortion, he resigned himself to his lot. But when he realised he'd had a son, he was really happy. The only problem was how to tell me, but this 'well-meaning' friend had made things easier for him. And he meant to be a responsible father to this son who was born due to no fault of his.

Jokes and Humour: Say Your Phone Number - in 9ja!

2016/2017 Jokes:

• Say Your Phone Number - in 9ja!
• WhatsApp Group
• Doctor tells a story
• Akpors Versus Teacher: Can I ask u a few questions?
• Don't try to control your spouse. You will always lose!
• Wise Man Vs Pin-Head
• Drunk Driver's Offence
• Don't make A Woman Cry
• Beware of the Price Lure
• Auto-maniac joke, 2016
• BET9ja
• WATCHING FOOTBALL with your wife can be very frustrating and stressful!

_____________________________________


Say Your Phone Number - in 9ja!
~Anonymous

Ask a Yoruba person for his/ her Number and you will hear:
"Sero Hate Sero, Sis Hate Sis, Tlri Hate Hlri, Sefun Sis"
(0806863876)
"Na my Heartel number be that"

AN Hausa man nko? You will hear:
Tzero Seben Tzero, Pipe Pipe Seben, Por Pipe Por Eleben. 
(07055745411)

Then ask an Anambra lgboman , you get this: 
Not Ate Not, Tliple Tili, Dozen Dozen Tili 
( 0803312123.....)" 
"O Number mu"
--------------------------------------

WhatsApp Group
~Tobe Obi.

Beggar at the traffic signal:
"What sir, only N10... 
Why the discrimination sir? You gave my friend N100 at the last traffic light".

Man in the car: 
"How did u know?"

Beggar: 
"He just sent me a whatsapp message with your car no. We are all members of the same whatsapp group".
----------------------------------------------
Doctor tells a story
By OK Chuk-Wu Dibor
March 4, 2017

Guy: Doctor, My girlfriend is pregnant but we always use protection and the rubber never broke. How is it possible?

Doctor: Let me tell you a story: "There was once a Hunter who always carries a Gun wherever he goes. One day he took his Umbrella instead of his Gun and went out. A Lion suddenly jumped infront of him. In order to scare the Lion, the Hunter used the Umbrella like a Gun,and shot the Lion,then it died!

Guy: Nonsense!! Someone else must've shot the Lion...

Doctor: Good!! You understood the Story.

Next patient please...
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Akpors Versus Teacher: Can I ask u a few questions?
~Tobe Obi.
9th February, 2017.

Mr & Mrs: My husband not father of my son, divorce-seeking wife tells Lagos court

Topics:
- My husband not father of my son, divorce-seeking wife tells Lagos court
- 'My sister flirts with my boyfriend'
- I caught my wife, best man having adulterous meeting – Husband tells court
- 'My husband makes money only for himself'
- I caught my wife with two lovers in our bedroom – Husband

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My husband not father of my son, divorce-seeking wife tells Lagos court
~Vanguard Nigeria. Thursday, May 25, 2017.

Lagos – A divorce-seeking housewife, Mojisola Ajiboye, on Thursday told an Agege Customary Court that her husband is not the biological father of her son.

She gave the testimony in the divorce suit she filed against her estranged husband at the court.

The petitioner, a 30-year-old nurse, who resides at No. 46, Shiaba St., Agege , a Lagos suburb, said she regretted her seven-year marriage to Samson Nkanang, 33.

She claims that the husband usually abandons her at home and travels on official trips without any form of care.

"My husband is irresponsible and has turned me into a punching bag, I am no longer interested in the union; I want the loveless marriage dissolved,'' she pleaded with the court.

The petitioner told the court that the petitioner whom she has been married to for over seven years is not the biological father of her son.

"I was impregnated by another man during the period my husband travelled on an official trip,' she said.

The estranged wife urged the court to dissolve the marriage so that they can go their separate ways

"Although l registered the child's birth in the respondent's name, he is not the father of my son,''she said.

Mojisola alleged that her husband is temperamental and constantly beats her over minor issues.

Samson , who admitted subjecting his wife to frequent beatings, however, denied the allegations of being an irresponsible husband and father.

He told the court that he was on an official trip for two months in Akwa-Ibom when his wife told him she was pregnant.

"On my return, I even had sexual intercourse with her severally in order for her private part to be opened according to the doctor's report.

"So I am amazed now that she claims I am not the biological father of my child."

She blames her mum's alcoholism for their dad's death!

Written by Bunmi Sofola
~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, February 19, 2017.

ALCOHOLICS have always been accused of making the lives of their loved ones miserable whenever the dreaded alcohol takes over their personality. And this happens as often as they get drunk. When Tomi's father died a couple of years ago, she was heartbroken and bitter that their mother's hostility towards him, especially when he was ill, coupled with her unreasonable grumpiness to the children hastened their father's departure to the grave.

"Our dad was diagnosed with cancer over three years ago. He needed extra care at home and I rescheduled my work at the school I ran so, I could be with him more often. Dad welcomed the change, but mum didn't," Tomi, a 42-year -old mother of three said. "Even before our dad became ill, I had a difficult relationship with our mum. In our teens, my sisters and I would cringe as we listened to her pick fights with dad. She was clingy, jealous and self-absorbed. I had to endure hours of her complaining about him when I got home from school – details too intimate for a daughter to hear about her parents' relationship. My sisters used to disappear but as the eldest, I had to endure it. At some point, I felt brave enough to tell her she wasn't being fair, that he was my dad and I loved him. Her focus has always been inwards, which means she barely asks about my life. Dad, on the other hand, was immensely proud of me and we could talk for hours – this made her more resentful.

"When I spent those last few months with him, I tried hard to talk about anything but his illness. Meanwhile, mum became a martyr to his care, complaining how exhausted she was, while pushing away offers of help. I tried to anticipate what I could do to relieve her burden, yet knew this irritated her. It came to a head one evening when she asked me directly if I got homesick. I replied that my husband was fully in charge of the kids and understood why I had to be with my father in his dying moments. She kept on at me until dad asked her to shut up. Next morning, she told me point blank she wanted time alone with him and that I was welcome to visit at the weekends.

"After dad's death, my sisters and I (and dad's siblings and friends) were relegated to small parts in a play that put our mum's grief at centre stage. This all with the embarrassment of her drinking to excess. She has no sense of self-awareness, so never thinks to curtail her drinking to save her children from public embarrassment. My recent birthday was dominated by keeping her from harm and putting her to bed, stark drunk. I tend not to hold grudges, but with mum I can't slake off something close to hate – since I spent more time crying over the way she treated me than I did for my dying father.


"She offers comments that our (me and my sisters') loss isn't as crippling as hers and this makes me angry. How do I get to be a good daughter when I have to brace myself to call her and don't want to visit her on my own? Our dad's death has proved he was the glue between mum and the children, and now there's nothing."

How to successfully tame your hostile mother-in-law!

By Okogba
~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, February 19, 2017.

DUNNI has been a sort of little brother for years now, and he freely comes to me any time he wants any advice. Not that much was happening in his life, not for a long time at least. An only child, he schooled in Britain and only came home when his mum had a mild stroke and could no longer run the family furniture business. His dad had passed on long before then and he confessed he couldn’t cope. “I’m not the businessman type”, he moaned "the first time he discussed the family business with me. ”I’ve noticed how firmly mum deals with the workers but I don’t really have the bottle. For a start, I know little or nothing about the staff, and for another I can’t really shout when things go wrong. I’m not the aggressive type".

I told him to keep his ears to the ground, look for one or two allies amongst the staff and tap their brain. It seemed to work for a while until one of the ‘allies’ started giving him the eye. Handsome is hardly a word to described Dunni, but he is intelligent and kind. In his early thirties, he could count the number of girlfriends he’s had on the finger. His idea of a wild night was having a good meal at a decent restaurant and topping that up with choice wine. So when he started going out with Fareedah, his mum’s personal assistant, I was happy for him.

When he brought her to the house however, my enthusiasm dipped. The girl was very pretty and extremely extroverted. She was considerably younger. What would she want with drab Dunni when she could have her pick of men? But then, I chided myself, she could have had her heart broken by a few Casanovas and wanted to give Mr. Nice Man a chance.

Dunni admitted he was a bit wary of falling in love with her when we next met. “But she is very "caring, Auntie,” he said. “You know I didn’t have that much experience with dating women, but she’d since taken care of that. The shyness I usually felt when I was near women disappeared when I went out with her the first time and she kissed me, I could hardly contain myself. As a result, our first experience at lovemaking was almost disastrous; I had no confidence because it had been such a long time I was with a woman that it was over almost before it started. But she was patient with me and the next time was better. Now we have the sort of sex I’d only ever dreamt of … ”

When I asked if he’d met any of her friends and family he told me her parents were dead. “I’ve met her friends and they are really nice,” he assured me. “If they thought it was odd her going out with me when she was so pretty and younger, they didn’t show it. Anyway, I’ve changed so much since I met her. She’s overhauled my wardrobe and made me buy a sexier car.

Mom's blood pressure predicts baby's sex before conception -Scientists

~Punch Nigeria. Thursday, January 19, 2017. 

Some Canadian scientists have said that it is possible to determine the sex of a baby months before it is even conceived.

They say that a woman's blood pressure at around 26 weeks before conception could tell if she will have a boy or a girl.

"Higher systolic blood pressure signals she will deliver a boy while lower suggests a girl," says endocrinologist at Mount Sinai Hospital in Toronto, Dr. Ravi Retnakaran.

In a study published in the American Journal of Hypertension, the researchers reached the conclusion as they tried to determine what is responsible for the ratio between girls and boys in a population.

In the new study, the mean systolic blood pressure reading for women who had boys was 106 mm Hg, compared to 103 mm Hg for those who had girls, in the months leading up to conception.

"When a woman becomes pregnant, the sex of a foetus is determined by whether the father's sperm provides an X or Y chromosome and there is no evidence that this probability varies in humans," added Dr. Retnakaran

"What is believed to vary is the proportion of male or female foetuses that is lost during pregnancy

"This study suggests that either lower blood pressure is indicative of a mother's physiology that is less conducive to survival of a male foetus or that higher blood pressure before pregnancy is less conducive to survival of a female foetus.

"This novel insight may hold implications for both reproductive planning and our understanding of the fundamental mechanisms underlying the sex ratio in humans,” he disclosed.

For the study, 1,411 newly-married Chinese women were recruited, all of whom were trying to become pregnant.

Their blood pressure was checked at around 26 weeks before conception and they were followed through pregnancy. Overall, the women gave birth to 739 boys and 672 girls.

Twins from different fathers in one womb

Written by Sola Ogundipe
~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, January 15, 2017. 

Siblings can have different fathers; can twins born of a woman have two fathers? The straight answer is yes. Twins could be "bipaternal." This phenomenon occurs quite rarely (1 in a billion to be exact), but several pairs of non-identical twins have been born, tested and found to be the products of one womb, one pregnancy, but two fathers.

It is often assumed that for twins, both eggs were fertilized during a single act of intercourse. However it is quite possible for one egg to be fertilized during one act of intercourse, and the other during another if the woman has intercourse with two men within hours.

Normally, women ovulate only one healthy egg per cycle. Fraternal twins are born when women ovulate two healthy eggs and both get fertilised. But it is also possible for two eggs to be ovulated during the same cycle and fertilised at different points within the five-day fertility window resulting in twins. This process is known as "superfecundation". What this means is that each egg can be fertilised by different sperms.

If a woman ovulates two or more eggs and she has sex with more than one man while she's fertile, "heteropaternal superfecundation" can occur, if the eggs get fertilised by sperm from the two different fathers within the same ovulation period.

Medical research shows that when a woman has sex with two men within the same ovulation window, it can result in bi-paternal twins, that come when a woman releases two eggs during ovulation instead of one - and both eggs are then fertilized.

Husbands who bring out the worst in their wives!

~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, January 8, 2017.

SOME years back, a close friend invited three of her friends to lunch to mark her husband's birthday. Just the five of us, she warned on the phone – a subtle way of telling us not to even think of bringing any hangers-on to her 'exclusive' do. We all three knew Bose and her no- nonsense attitude. Even Oba, her husband tread on egg-shells whenever she was in her foul mood – which was often. Anyway, we were all looking forward to what we imagined would be a delicious spread of local and foreign dishes – Bose, whatever her fault, was a darn good cook.

We were a bit on guard when Oba was the one who welcomed us as we pressed the bell, screaming 'Bose, Bose, your friends are here o!' Bose appeared, dressed in pants and a very sexy blouse, a defiant look on her face. In the mean-time, no aroma of any kind wafted from the kitchen.

"If my friends are here nko?" Bose sneered. "It is your birthday, you entertain them" . The gist of it was there was no celebratory lunch of any kind. Bose glared at her husband, yelling she hadn't done any shopping and she wasn't up to cooking anything – all of us should go and stuff ourselves!

As she flauced out of the living room, her eldest daughter surfaced, looking extremely embarrassed. But Oba quickly took charge. He gave some money to her daughter to make a quick dash to the nearest fast-food spot and get us some assortment of food. Then with Bose still raving and ranting, he served the food his daughter brought back in the formal dining room as if it was the most delicious feast in the world, all the while regaling us with entertaining stories as if nothing was remotely out of the ordinary.

Now, were we surprised by this turn of event? Not in the least. We were all aware of Bose and Oba's volatile marriage. Bose often attacked her husband, subjecting him to a string of battering. Oba often regaled us with tales of how he was scratched, punched and even hit over the head with a bottle, as well as having the windscreen of a favourite vehicle smashed by his excessively jealous wife. The rows were never-ending and spilled into his official duties. On one occasion, he alleged Bose was waiting for him outside his office after he'd just finished a meeting with his key staff. "When I came out," he said, she confronted me about something and when I didn't give her the type of answer she sought, she sank her teeth into my hand."