Who is a husband?

Written by Lady Helen Noyo Owie

Lady Helen Noyo Owie, LSJI, JP is daughter of Mary USA.

~Vanguard Nigeria. Thursday, October 27, 2016.

I HAVE chosen to speak on the topic "WHO IS A HUSBAND". The scripture tells us in Ephesians 5 vs 28,33 that husbands should love their wives just as Christ loved the church and gave His life for it. A husband is a male in a marital relationship, the rights and obligation of a husband regarding his spouse, others and his status in the community and in-laws vary between cultures and have varied overtime. Husband is the head of a legally married union to a woman, be it in the church, that is holy matrimony, or in the Registry – Court marriage or just the native law and custom.

The man, therefore, should see his wife as a help-mate- Gen. 2 vs 18. And the Lord said it is not good for a man to be alone. God made for man a suitable companion to help him. Gen. 2 vs 21 – man therefore should love his wife just as he loves his body- Malachi 2 vs 14, Gen. 2 vs 24. Husbands should be faithful to their wives. Marriage is an institution ordained by God. Gen. 2 vs 24.

For this reason the man will leave his father and mother and be united with his wife and they shall become one. Therefore, husbands should see their wives as help mates, sister and dependable ally, as the bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh- Gen. 2 vs 23-25. Husbands, therefore, should realise that the wife is created by God for him- Gen. 2 vs 21. The husband should therefore be conscious of the fact that his destiny is tied to that of his wife. As a husband you are the head of the home.

You must try to build a good home in the face of the moral and societal ills of our society. And give a good leadership role to your family. You will agree with me that not all husbands are husbands, some are fathers, some big boys, some adults, some men. The real husband the Bible tells us in Gen. 2 vs 24. Ephesian 5 vs 25-28, 33 Husbands love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it. Let me delve briefly into the role of a father. John 10 vs 11

1. a. Father is a shepherd:

A good shepherd is ready at all times to protect, provide, defend, give shelter and care for his family and give good education and moral standards for the children and of course good leadership roles for his family. A father, who is the shepherd, must smell like the sheep. He must make unconditional sacrifices to make his wife and children comfortable. He should be ready to love his wife in an unconditional manner. John 10 vs 11.

”FOR THE MARRIED WOMEN AND THOSE INTENDING TO GET MARRIED, LISTEN AND TAKE HEED!!

Excerpts from Pastor Chris’ Teaching! 
~Christ Embassy.Org Online Missions

Pastor Chris Oyakhilome

Husband does not mean the male partner in a marriage, husband means master. The reason for most problems in Christian marriages is the fact that women refute God’s definition of marriage and form theirs. 

They believe they are equal partners. If most women had their fathers bold enough to talk to them, they will be very successful in their marriage and they will be very happy people. Most women have never been taught by their parents, their fathers particularly and that’s their biggest problem because they don’t know who a man is, they think he is another woman. 

In marriage, you have the man who is the head of that union and because he’s the head of that union, its important to understand him. You think he’s the one that needs to understand his wife and that is where you are wrong. 
He will eventually but you have to know the type of man you are married to and his needs.When you say you are marrying a man, you are coming under his authority. 
The Bible says, the man is the head of the woman (1 Corinthians 11:3) so when you marry him you come under his authority, you are not authority sharers even though you are both heirs to the kingdom of God.When you decide not to subject yourself to that authority, you are a rebel and God is not going to accept what you are doing because you are not functioning correctly. 

Why did God make the woman? Making woman was not God’s original plan because after God created Adam and before He made Eve, He said in Genesis 1:31 “Then God looked over all he had made, and he saw that it was very good”. 
God made woman because of man so woman was not His original idea. This is reality.Genesis 2:18a “And the Lord God said “for it is not good for a man to be alone..” The Bible didn’t say “lonely” but “alone”. 


There is a big difference. Man wasn’t lonely but alone. Genesis 2:18b “…I will make him an help meet”. He didn’t say a partner or a supervisor or a special advisor or someone to tell him what to do.
I will make him someone to help him. God gave man a responsibility so woman was made to help man achieve that responsibility. If this is understood in every home then you won’t have problems.

SEX IS GOD'S IDEA: SEXUALITY IN GOD'S KINGDOM ON EARTH

Written by Rev. Dr. Adenike Yesufu

Email: ayesufu@yahoo.ca

World Health Organization says that sex occurs more than 100 million times everyday around the world. For all its frequency, sex remains a private, personal, intensely individual and complex matter in people's lives and in many cultures. God in the Garden of Eden inaugurated heterosexual relationship when He gave Eve to Adam. The Bible introduces sex. 

The Bible celebrates sex. Forget the apple narrative; sex is given for procreation and for pleasure. All societies control sexuality. All societies have social norms that grant approval to certain sexual behavior and disapproval of others. No society grants unrestricted sexual liberties. Even as sexuality is God's gift to human beings, God places limitations on sexual practices, not to cause discomfort for His creatures but to ensure that physical relations are the most special and unique expression of love and trust a human being can bestow on one another. God's limitations on sex are positive. Without limitations, sex becomes mere performance and everything is devalued.

However, in the fast-paced world of today, sex seems to be on everybody's mind and lips. Malcolm Muggeridge says Society has sex on its brain; it is a very uncomfortable place to have it. I remember The Thorn Birds, the movie based on the novel by Colleen McCullough. I also remember Richard Chamberlain's excellent performance as Father Ralph. Many people see the Thorn Birds as a love story. However, I see a priest's intense struggle with his Spirituality (his love for God) and his Sexuality (his human passion). There is no doubt that Father Ralph loves his God more than he loves the woman of focus as he claims in the movie. In spite of his unflinching commitment to God and his vocation, Father Ralph succumbed to the lure of the flesh. For me this story represents the sexual struggles of many Christians in today's world. This led me to reflect on Sexuality in God's Kingdom on earth.

Society continues to experience a sexual revolution that has led to changes in many areas of human sexuality. Attitudes towards sexual permissiveness have changed with people having a more tolerant view of it. The Media generally permissive with sexual content continues to portray non-marital sex as exciting, spontaneous sex as romantic, extra marital sex as normal and inevitable. Sexual issues have become so overt with the incessant bombardment and assault by the media that it is definitely always in everybody's face and thereby almost on everybody's mind, even on Christian minds. Who can resist the temptation of thoughtful engagement? Society has become permissive. It is now judgmental within the Church to discuss human sexuality from moral perspectives.

The Pope’s comments about modern marriage have raised eyebrows – but he has a point

Written by by Fr Alexander Lucie-Smith
Web: http://catholicsay.com. June 17, 2016


The Pope’s recent comments on marriage, which have raised a few eyebrows, do at least contain one statement with which I wholeheartedly agree. It is this: “Marriage is the most difficult area of pastoral work."

As for the rest of what the Pope has said, most of this raises a “Yes, but…" response from me.

But one thing has to be underlined: our marriage preparation is not doing its job. There are lots of people who are entering marriage ill-prepared for it and with little understanding of the sacrament.

I myself have known engaged couples who simply should not have got married. I was not, needless to say, presiding at their weddings. If I had been it would have been the cause of a considerable crisis of conscience on my part.

But even if I had been charged with “marrying" them, it would have been next to impossible to have intervened and stopped the wedding. Couples determined to marry may have little self-knowledge; one party may be self-deluded and the other party deluded; but the only way out of those delusions may be the school of bitter experience.

So how do we prepare people for marriage? Here are a few thoughts.

By the time the engaged couple present themselves, saying they want to get married in Church, it is already too late to start preparation. Preparation for marriage needs to start before the couple have met; it needs to start in childhood, or even, to be on the safe side, at birth. After all, whom you marry is the most important decision you will ever make.

VANITY OF LIFE

From Ajala Kayode - Nigeria.

One Sunday morning, a wealthy man sat in his balcony enjoying the sunshine and his coffee when a little ant caught his eye; going from one side to the other side of the balcony, carrying a big leaf several times more than its size.

The man watched it for more than an hour. He saw that the ant faced many impediments during its journey, paused, took a diversion and then continued towards its destination.

At one point the tiny creature came across a crack in the floor. It paused for a little while, analyzed and then laid the huge leaf over the crack, walked over the leaf, picked the leaf on the other side then continued its journey.

The man was captivated by the cleverness of the ant, one of God’s tiniest creatures.

The incident left the man in awe and forced him to contemplate over the miracle of Creation. It showed the greatness of the Creator. Before his very eyes was this tiny creature of God, lacking in size yet equipped with a brain to analyze, contemplate, reason, explore, discover and overcome.

Along with all these capabilities, the man also noticed that this tiny creature shared some human shortcomings.

The man saw about an hour later that the creature had reached its destination – a tiny hole in the floor which was entrance to its underground dwelling.

At this point the ant’s shortcoming that it shared with man was revealed.

How could the ant carry the large leaf it carefully managed to its destination into the tiny hole? It simply couldn’t!

Religion can affect your psychology

Written by Adeoye Oyewole - Punch, Nigeria

Adeoye Oyewole

Most people think that psychiatry and religion have nothing in common. But the truth is that, historically, they have similar roots. The earliest psychiatrists were priests who stood their ground against inhuman treatment of the mentally challenged.

There were definite intervals in the medieval period when priests were wrongly involved in the care of the mentally ill, especially during the era of witch hunts, and when mental illness was caused by spirits that were exorcised in various ways, such as through burning, bleeding and purging.

These methods derived from the concept of spirit possession as being responsible for mental illness. However the period of renaissance intensified the humane treatment that led to the discovery of the antipsychotic drug, which is till date one of the greatest medical miracles of the early part of the 20th century.

This discovery finally put an end to speculations that the voices heard by the mentally ill belonged to the spirits that the priests were about to exorcise.

Modern psychiatry has advanced with the development of other methods, such as the use of psychological principles in the management of mental illness. Several models exist as underlying principles for psychotherapeutic intervention with enormous clinical value and advantage.

Donald Trump calls for halt on Muslims entering US

~Al Jazeera

Republican presidential front-runner Donald Trump has called for a “total and complete” block on Muslims entering the United States.

A statement from Trump’s campaign team said the halt on Muslims entering the country should remain in place “until our country’s representatives can figure out what is going on.”

The statement does not specify if the proposal would affect both tourists and immigrants.

Trump’s campaign cites poll data allegedly showing “hatred towards Americans by large segments of the Muslim population”.

“Where this hatred comes from and why we will have to determine,” the billionaire real estate mogul, who is leading in opinion polls among likely Republican voters, said in the statement.

“Until we are able to determine and understand this problem and the dangerous threat it poses, our country cannot be the victims of horrendous attacks by people that believe only in jihad, and have no sense of reason or respect for human life.”

Trump has been increasingly virulent in his remarks targeting Muslim Americans since the deadly Paris attacks, and again in the wake of last week’s shooting attack in California, which was carried out by a Muslim couple, leaving 14 dead and 21 wounded.

“Just put out a very important policy statement on the extraordinary influx of hatred & danger coming into our country. We must be vigilant!” Trump tweeted after the statement was released.

His announcement unleashed quick condemnation on Twitter.

“@realdonaldtrump removes all doubt: he is running for President as a fascist demagogue,” Democratic presidential contender Martin O’Malley said.

The Council on American-Islamic Relations group said: “We’re entering into the realm of the fascist now.”

Men-pleasers and God-pleasers

Written by  Femi ARIBISALA - Nigeria

If God be for us, only fools would be against us. But if man, and not God, be for us, then we are in trouble.

Sly Stone was a big popstar. He was lead singer of the Sly and the Family Stone; an avant-garde soul and rock band of the sixties and seventies. He went about with a big entourage; lots of hangers-on who hung on his every word. Sly was clearly fed up with these people licking his boots at every turn. So he cracked a deliberately lousy joke. Then he looked round to see their reaction.

As usual, they all laughed hysterically at his joke, acting like it was the best joke they ever heard. Sly looked around at them with unfeigned disgust. Then he said to a side-kick: "These people are morons."

However, there is a more scripturally appropriate description for Sly's sycophantic entourage. They are "men-pleasers" who specialise in eye-service. The scriptures warn against such tendencies: "Bond-servants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh, not with eye-service, as men-pleasers, but in sincerity of heart, fearing God. And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men." (Colossians 3:22).

For God's sake

Jesus, our good shepherd, is a God-pleaser. His righteousness is of God and not of men. Jesus says: "I always do the things that are pleasing to (God)." (John 8:29). Jesus came to reconcile us back to God. We learn from his example that, in every situation, we should say to God: "Not my will but yours be done." (Matthew 26:39).

Jesus enjoins his disciples to be servants of men for God's sake. He says: "Whoever desires to be great among you, let him be your servant. And whoever desires to be chief among you, let him be your servant; even as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life a ransom for many." (Matthew 20:26-28).

Pope Francis and the tug of values

Written by Minabere Ibelema - Nigeria. 

Minabere Ibelema 

During his visit to the United States last week, Pope Francis addressed a joint session of the United States Congress. It is an honour that is extended to just a few people who are distinguished in some way. That is, people such as Popes. Yet, Pope Francis is the first pope to be accorded that honour, and that is not an accident.

Sure, the United States is one of the most religious countries in the Western world. Virtually every member of the U.S. Congress has a religious affiliation - mostly Christian - and about 69.4 million Americans are Catholic. Still, in a sense, the Pope is the antithesis of what the United States formally stands for. The political revolution that became the United States is in essence the culmination of the revolt against papal authority that began with Martin Luther's 95 theses in 1517.

Now, however, the US Congress-the formal representation of the American people-now share considerable bond with the pope. Perhaps, more than any other institutions in the world, they embody the tug between tradition and a moral order on the one hand and modernity and freewheeling values on the other. It is a tug that is at the heart of modern history, and it shows no signs of easing up.

For share convenience, let's begin with the Protestant Revolution, otherwise known as the Reformation. When Luther posted his 95 theses on the door of a theological seminary in Wittenberg, Germany, where he was a priest and professor, he was doing the unthinkable: taking on the most powerful authority in the world at the time.

During the periods of the inquisitions - lasting from the mid-13th century to the early 19th- the death penalty or long-term imprisonment was the fate of heretics, people whose beliefs deviated from church doctrines. Meanwhile, the church raked in much money from the sale of "indulgences" as the means of forgiveness of sins.

That, more than anything else, was what infuriated Luther and led to his courageous call for reform and an improbable standoff with the Pope. The resulting schism engendered the Protestant movement, the breakaway of congregations from Catholicism and papal authority.The Church of England did so on and off between 1534 and 1555, when it permanently established its own separate identity, incorporating the ethos of the Reformation while retaining much of Catholicism.

WEDDING RING: African Clerics On Its Myth And Significance

'I Prefer To Use The Word Of God To Join Couples Rather Than A Ring'

Clerics

(Pastor (Dr.) Jacob E. Umoru, President, Lagos Atlantic Conference, Seventh-day Adventist Church in Nigeria)
ACTUALLY, from my understanding of God's word, wedding ring is not the true test of love. The foundation of marriage is still in the word of God. So, I prefer to use God's word to join couples rather than a ring. Ring is just outward, but once the word of God is accepted and practised, that will help the marriage to stand rather than ring. Sometimes, we use the ring and sometimes we don't. The reason is that if it is in a country where wearing wedding ring is a law, and you don't follow the rule, you may

be accused of not obeying the law. But ordinarily, we don't use the ring, which is not biblical. Wedding ring does not stop one from infidelity. It doesn't bestow the true sense of faithfulness, which is in the heart. This is why I believe that if people believe God's word and fear Him, ring or no ring, they will still honour God. They will be faithful to their marriage.
I am not going to condemn anybody, as those who practise it do so in accordance with their faith. We have a lot of problems in the world today because we dwell more on the outward. But God looks at the inward and if we accept God's word as well as obey Jesus Christ, we will be more faithful and not focus so much on the outward. Even with their wedding rings on, some people still go ahead to do whatever they like. I think the best thing is to be faithful to God's word and our hearts. Sometimes, people don't want to wear it because of the inconsistency. Some drop their wedding rings because they feel they are being caged. So, personally, I prefer that people hold fast to the word of God, which is the foundation of marriage.
--------------------------------------------
'It Reminds Couples That They Are Committed And Responsible As Well'
(Rev. (Dr.) Kayode Opadeji, Snr Pastor, First Baptist Church, Ikeja, Lagos)

AS you are talking with me right now, I am wearing my own. It is important and is a sign that has no beginning and ending. Here, we tell our members that their love has no beginning and no ending. In other words, it is expected that there shouldn't be any condition attached to it. Once you marry that woman or man, the two of you have to live together till death do you part. So, that understanding is from the Bible, which expects that a couple should live together forever even though some people may opt for divorce. This is not right because the Bible says in Malachi 1:16 that God hates divorce. So, we expect that the love that exists between couples should not give room for outsiders or third party to interfere. Aside this, since rings are made of gold that cannot rust, as it remains the same forever, a marriage should also be like that. Love should not disintegrate or diminish, but should remain the same. I have been wearing my wedding ring close to 19 years now.

What people do in the name of God

Written By Chidi Nkwopara, Owerri, Laju Arenyeka, Osa AMADI - Vanguard Nigeria

Stella Nnedum craved for all good things including good health for her fiance, Michael (surname withheld).

She wanted him to know that she cared for him. She also didn’t want anything to stand in their way to the altar and so she worked to make him strong and unwavering. But she feared that if Michael adhered to the advice of some people around him he could change his mind about their marriage. And one way to get things done was to lure him to a seer, a prophetess of some sort who would guide them and probably make sure he ignored all distractions that could threaten their planned marriage.

Michael did not believe in seers. He did not even believe in witchcraft, fetish or any voodoo phenomenon.

It was difficult to convince him to follow her to a seer. But like it was in the beginning of time with Adam and Eve, Stella succeeded in luring Michael to the seer in Olodi Apapa Area of Lagos.

"Some people would be against their marriage and they would work for it not to happen," the seer told them, warning that something bad could happen to them if they did not start praying immediately as some people were already after them. The seer also told them that only prayers could see them surmount the forces against their marriage. She even said that they were not meant for each other but prayers could change everything "as there’s nothing God cannot do".

And for the back pane that Michael was having at the time, the seer told them that it was the handiwork of his people from the village and that he needed to come regularly for prayers to be healed. Michael and Stella left and promised to return for prayers.

Did the seer succeed in creating fears into this couple so that they could always visit and sow seed during prayers?

If Stella fell for it, Michael did not.

When they got home, Michael bared his mind to Stella: "I did not give any background to the seer on my back pain and she goofed big time. My back pain is as a result of an old sports injury that comes and goes from time to time. And here was somebody telling me that my people in the village were sending pains to me? And all the story about the forces against the marriage is for us to be coming regularly for prayers after which one must make offertory. This is how these people operate. They live by creating fear into people, prophesying falsely and reaping victims off"