Disgusting things men do in relationships

By Epiphenia Muolokwo
VANGUARD Nigeria. Saturday, January 25, 2020

Apparently, no woman likes to be cheated on, bad morning breaths, wearing the same underwear for days, farting, over-sized ego, lies, being taken for granted, being taken advantage of etc. These are most of the things we find disgusting in relationships, but we tend to compromise or be quiet about some, just so we don't hurt your feelings.

Relationships they say, come with a lot of sacrifices from two connected individuals, who are willing to make things work. They tend to endure some things just to make the relationship work.

Being in a relationship doesn't mean you're losing yourself.

Of course, you want to stay real and genuine when you're in an intimate relationship with someone. However, you still want to do your part in putting your best foot forward. It's always important that you are presenting your best self towards your partner.

Men do a lot of disgusting things in relationships while being completely oblivious of the fact that their partners may find them quite obnoxious. Some of those disgusting things, I took my time to outline.

Morning bad breath

While some may find it romantic, especially to kiss her in the morning without brushing; many others fare not comfortable with it .

Wearing the same underwear for days

Exactly! 'Eww'! That's what I believe everyone should say too. It's completely disgusting and I strongly believe no woman likes this.

It's wrong! It's gross! We women find it disgusting! Please stop! There's no justification to this. It's only right you change your underwear EVERYDAY. That way, you save your partner the stress of continually inhaling filth and treatment of infection.

Nothing is as sexy and attractive as a clean Man.

Ego

Ego: Every human's sense of self-worth or self-importance. It's present in every human being – no doubt. However, it gets unattractive and even disgusting to women when you possess an enormously unnecessary sense of importance. You think of yourself as the best thing to ever happen to the woman on planet earth.

You rub it in the face of your partner and may even tend to demean her in the process. Some even go as far as abusing their partners over trifle faults because they think they own them. A lot of women may endure this, perhaps for her unending love for you, or for what you guys share together. Or even for any other reason whatsoever. Many women endure to keet relationship on. For whatever it is – it's wrong!

I personally find it disgusting!

Some women shared their thoughts on this topic.

Are you adventurous enough to handle a one-night stand?

VANGUARD Nigeria. Saturday, November 2, 2019

One night stands are seldom planned - you find yourself in the company of the opposite sex, the chemistry is so charged that nothing matters but that electrifying moment - not your reputation and certainly not common-sense.

A few months back, Afusat found herself in a very lavish bachelor's eve party. "The couple were in their mid-thirties", explains Afusat, "and most of the guests were successful corporate players who came to the party to unwind.

I was 32, engaged to be married soon and laughed indulgently at some of my friends who were out on manhunt. As I made my way to the bar to get a refill for my gin and tonic, a deep voice boomed behind me, What a party!

Are you a friend of the groom-to-be? Turning round, I saw a real hunk, with a clean shaven head and mischievous look. Falteringly, I told him I was the bride's good friend.

"Then we were chatting and laughing. How had he managed to escape the clutches of my man-hungry friends? I don't know how long we chatted for, but my head started swimming mischievously at this deliciously dangerous stranger. When he latched on to my hand, I didn't pull out. He told me he came for the bachelor eve's do from out of town and had a room in the hotel where the eve was being held. "I'm only here for the night', he whispered into my ear. `Why don't we go upstairs for a proper drink?"

"He put his arm around me and stirred me towards the exit. I stumbled along and didn't resist. I was very tipsy. I tripped as we c limbed the stairs and he helped me into his very impressive hotel room. As soon as the door slid shut, his lips found mine.


I snogged him back, feeling drunk, lustful and gorgeous. We made mad passionate love and I must have blacked out. The next thing I realised was waking up the next morning, surveying my surrounds. For a while, I couldn't work out where I was. Then I noticed a scribbled note on the table. `You were sleeping so peacefully I didn't want to wake you up, it said, `You need to check out by noon...

"I felt so ashamed as everything started coming back. I shuddered at what I'd done - sleeping with a total stranger! My head was in my palms when my mobile shrilled. `Afusat', Rolly, my best friend shrieked down the phone.

Mental health challenges facing modern African male

Written by Adeoye Oyewole
~PUNCH Nigeria. Thursday, February 21, 2019

The term 'man' is usually reserved for an adult male of the human species, while 'manhood' is used to describe the period after he has transitioned from boyhood, having attained secondary male sexual characteristics that symbolise his coming of age and assumes the responsibilities accruable to that status.

Masculinity may vary in different cultures, but it has universal principles across cultures which basically embodies assertiveness, responsibility, selflessness, ethics, sincerity, and respect that has strong associations with physical and moral strength. The biological inputs through hormones induce the process of physical maturity in the males, which redirects the biological processes away from the default female route.

In many cultures, displaying characteristics not typical to one's gender may become a social problem for the individual. However, labelling and conditioning are based on gender assumptions as part of socialisation to match the local cultural template. In the primitive hunter-gatherer societies, men were often, if not exclusively, responsible for all large game killed, the capturing, raising and domesticating of animals, the building of permanent shelters, the defence of villages and sustenance the family in all ramifications.


Each time the universally agreeable traits of manhood are challenged, anxiety and anger may be provoked leading to maladaptive behavioural patterns. With the globalisation of values, there is an increased liberation of the female gender with the attendant financial independence, among other things, which has been the premise of male domination over the centuries.

Although the actual stereotypes may have remained relatively constant, the values attached to masculine stereotypes may have changed over the past few decades, since it is argued that masculinity is an unstable phenomenon and dynamic in conceptualization. However, the old ideals of manhood are getting obsolete just as the new is still not properly defined as we grope in darkness which forms the basis of manhood and masculinity crisis with grave mental health consequences in societies like ours in cultural transition.

The typical modern African man has cognitive dissonance, with respect to his roles as a traditional dominant male in the family as he also attempts to espouse the western ideas that compel him to recognise his wife as a partner in the business of raising the family. The traditional stereotypes of the father as the breadwinner and the mother as a homemaker are almost historical in the light of today's economic realities.

Who says the maid can't have what 'madam' is having?!

~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, February 24, 2019.

I've known Ado for decades and his insatiable appetite for sex never fails to amaze me. He's been married and has managed to stay married for close to 20years. A few years into his marriage, he rushed into my office, bursting with excitement. "I had the most amazing sex of my life yesterday", he told me as soon as we were alone. His wife was pregnant with their second child and I wondered how the poor woman could have performed the feat for which he was now proud. "Not with my wife of course," he said, looking at me as if I were some sort of a clod, "with a woman I ran into at a party. You should see her; gorgeous and eager to make friends, she'd come to the party with two of her friends but seemed to e really interested n what I had to say. I told her I was married and she said she was too - and a mother of three. So where was her husband? I didn't come with my wife either and I wasn't really interested in what her husband looked like - all I wanted was her. 

"When I told her I would love us to meet up sometime, she said she was an events planner, she was planning a wedding reception that weekend on the grounds of a posh hotel and was saying in one of the rooms to make sure things went according to plan. I could look in if I felt like it. We exchanged phone numbers and I couldn't sleep for the anxiety. Come the Friday she said she would check into the hotel I told my wife I was off to a stag night party; it was the safest excuse I could give her. If I didn't strike gold, I could come home early. If I did I would have this ready story for I was too drunk to drive. My wife's pregnancy was advanced an she couldn't be bothered what I did as long as I left her to rest. This lady's hotel room reeked of seduction.

"I knew I'd really got lucky. She was so relaxed about the whole thing, she made our being alone in a room for the first time feel like the most natural thing in the world. We had a few drinks and some snacks she'd brought from home. Then spent the next few hours having the most fantastic sex. I hadn't had sex with my pregnant wife for a long time that I wasted no time at all, but she was really matured about it as we both pleasured each other until I felt ready again.

"It was better than winning the jackpot as we did it in positions I didn't even know existed. I never knew sex could be so intoxicating. She never took her hands off me throughout the night and when I finally got home in the early hours, I was so knackered that I didn't wake up until mid-day. My poor wife thought I was nursing a hangover. I relieved the sex I just had over and over again and became so randy that I pounced my wife. Poor thing! She must have missed sex too as she fell grateful into my arms. But it was this new woman I thought of while it lasted. I longed to see her body under mine once again.

Corpers and life of sex, booze, drugs in NYSC camps

By Timileyin Akinkahunsi and Ojoi Ijagah
Punch Nigeria. SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 23, 2018.

For Dorcas Ifeji, the best time of her life was in 2016, the year she participated in the one-year mandatory National youth service programme. And all of the excitement was down to the three weeks she spent in the National Youth Service Corps orientation camp in Taraba State.

Ifeji described her experience in camp as the time of her life she would always relish. As a fresh graduate, she had thought that the regimented life in the camp, with soldiers keeping a watchful eye on corps members, would be stressful, but she was wrong. The experience was almost like nothing changed for the party-loving lady.

"We had a place called Club Zero behind the Mammy Market (usually a market in military barracks where food, beverages and other things are sold); it was like a clubhouse," she said with a sheepish smile.

"Club Zero was where everything unimaginable happened in the camp. It was just behind the Mammy Market. You could get to smoke weed, party and indulge in everything irregular; some adventurous people even made out in the open.

"What made Club Zero interesting was because the soldiers in the camp usually let their guards down there, looking for free beer from the guys and willing girls to flirt with. Some soldiers were lucky enough to find drunk and vulnerable girls who would follow them to their quarters for private business.

"It was normal to see corps members in pairs, kissing, groping and doing sexually suggestive things in Club Zero. The place was dimly lit so the atmosphere was conducive for certain actions. A day really stood out for me: people were shouting and I was wondering what could have happened. Then I realised that a guy and a lady had just been found having sex in a corner at Club Zero.

"The act should have attracted serious punishment but people actually hailed them and after the noise went down, all the soldiers present there said was 'una must buy us one crate of beer o' (you must buy us a crate of beer)."

Since the national youth service is compulsory for Nigerian graduates under the age of 30, those seeking employment are required to show proof of participation or formal exemption from taking part in it as a prerequisite for getting jobs in the country.

What has shame got to do with a raging libido?

Diary of a Divorced City Girl
~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, August 19, 2018

Why are today's young women so carried away with having fun and experimenting with sex that they scarcely give a thought to getting married?  Those that are lucky to walk down the aisle do it haphazardly. The slightest marital problems they have, their bags are packed, ready to look for greener pastures by eagerly joining their footloose and fancy free friends. So, once in a while, friends get together looking for ways to drag their unwilling daughters down the aisle – no matter how short-lived such relationship turn out to be.
So when Lillian's daughter, Jessica finally came home after her live in lover of three years jilted her to get married to a white woman, we were really sympathetic.  "According to this creep of a guy,Jessica stole him from one of her good friends", Lillian told us.  "He'd had a free ride with the friend, then latched on to Jessica before realising Nigerian girls are dogs. His safest bet was to get married to a starry-eyed British woman who saw him as a stud to die for!  When I saw how devastated Jessica was, I felt for her and was afraid she might do something foolish. So, I convinced her to relocate so she could find a suitor. The word is now our girls. Jessica is now 28 and must find a suitor, come hook or crook!".

You couldn't just have a man on tap, I told her, reminding her of all her match making capers that hit a brick wall. But a couple of months later, Juwon, one of my good friends came calling, grumbling about a nephew well in his 30s and still single.  "All the wife materials he's met, he'd used them for sex", she moaned.  "He's my sister's only child and she's very broody - she wants grandchildren".

A light suddenly went on in my head. Why not match-make this man with Jessica?  The more we discussed the prospect, the more excited Juwon was. When I later called Lillian, she said she knew Jessica's taste and would want to give Adams the once-over before she linked him up with her daughter. Fair enough.

"That Adams of yours is a real cad", Lillian said, months after. I was at hers, having a relaxed evening but her tone of voice made me sit up.  "I don't think Juwon told him what the set up was. When he came to the house, he was confident and cheeky - not the introverted man Juwon painted him to be. When we finally got to why he was really at my place, his face fell.  `I thought you fancied me, he protested.  `My auntie merely told me you needed a favour, I thought ...' `No, no, no' I told him.  `Nothing of that sort must even cross your mind.  I'll arrange for you to meet my daughter as soon as possible'.  And that was what I did.  He looked a bit older than I thought as we talked.

Take a second look at your husband while thinking of having an affair

By Bunmi Sofola
~Vanguard Nigeria. Saturday, July 21, 2018

"MOST times, lying with my husband watching him sleep on his back, beer belly rising and falling with each snore, he doesn't look appetizing in the least especially with his treble chin and bald head. I am starting to find him repulsive…." Melisa looked so forlorn as she told me about the state of her marriage that I had to laugh.

She wasn't amused. I reminded her they'd just been married 12 years and it was a bit early for her to start being resentful, especially when she has two adorable kids and a well heeled husband who gave her and the children virtually everything they wanted. "But what about meaningful sex? Seun was fit and energetic when we got married with a body to die for.

Now he's flabby and unattractive. His weight had more than doubled; the only thing that hasn't changed is his personality. He's still kind and loving with a good sense of humour. Trouble is, I just don't fancy him any more. I want rippling muscles-not rippling fat!"

I warned her to be extremely careful. After escaping the seven year-itch, maybe, 12 years is when her marriage should have started showing signs of being in a rut-she should strive for both of them to get out of it. "I don't know about Seun," she said simply, "but I'm trying my best to do just that. As a matter of fact, I've just met someone at work. He is a technician we briefly used. Though he is single, he knows he's nothing but a bit-on-the side. And he's so sexy.


Instead of the usual boxers, he wears clinging lycra cycling shorts which makes him look deeply sexy. It is easy to get a way to meet him as Seun works really late now he's been promoted to management level. Don't get me wrong, I love Seun, but sex with Ephraim is like an icing on a cake." I told her she was treading on dangerous grounds but she just laughed in my face.

Months later, she came running back to me, "It is Seun" she said, a bit frightened, "it is as if he suspects I'm having an affair. Last night, he came outright to ask why we never seem to make love any more. That 1 couldn't get away quickly enough whenever he touched me.

She did what she had to do to give her kids a better life!

Diary of a Divorced City Girl
~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, July 15, 2018.

WOULD you do anything to make your kids happy – however sordid you believe such things to be? A few years ago, Denike, a teaching assistant at a private primary school resigned and started a sort of petty trading. "We had the front two rooms in the house we moved to after Dele, my husband, was medically discharged from the armed forces and the little money he had ran out", she explained.
"I started with running a small canteen in front of the house but the landlord kicked against it because of the fire hazard it created. Then I started retail trading but the profits weren't much to look after us all – four children in total. I felt guilty every time I had to tell my children we couldn't afford little treats they'd taken for granted. Out of frustration, I confided in a former colleague at the school. She earned the same salary I did but had told me she also had a part-time job that paid fairly well. I wanted her to find out if there was a chance of my being employed.

"She didn't even bat an eyelid before explaining what she did. She worked at a private club that offered massages to members. It was right in the middle of town and was always busy. She could take me there if I was keen. Of course there was a catch. As well as massaging the clients, I would have to provide extras too. After giving it a thought, I said I would do anything but full sex. I would be okay with a bit of touching, but I couldn't go that far. It still didn't stop me from being nervous though. I remember my first time with a man – massaging his back, hardly knowing what to do as he tried to slip his hand up my skirt. He then pleasured himself on me. I felt dirty and violated.


"I was screaming inside. I just wanted to run from that room, go home and never came back. Then I remembered the toys my kids wanted that Christmas. I imagined their eyes lighting up as I handed them their presents on their wish list. When the man had finished, I cleaned up, took the cash from him as he left. I was a bit relieved it was ready cash. Pure profit so to speak. It was an encouraging start.

"Over the next few months, I saw more men. Some just wanted a massage and a fondle, others were after more. I still didn't feel comfortable enough to have sex with a stranger though. But the more I worked the more relaxed I was about the idea. My colleague assured me what 1 was earning were peanuts compared to what 1 would get if I went the whole way. And about three months after starting, I was finally ready to take the plunge. At least, I thought I was. That morning, I was a wreck. I couldn't eat much. Every time I thought about a stranger on top of me, I broke out in a cold sweat.

Toxic effect of pornography on relationships

Written by Bunmi Sofola
~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, June 17, 2018.

In my early teens, I vividly remember sneaking into our father's bedroom from time to time, my heart always in my throat for fear of being caught. I was drawn to a stack of Playboy magazines my dad had surreptitiously hidden amongst flies he always brought from the office," said Ephraim. He's now 28, has a fantastic job and a string of girlfriends-but is not thinking of marriage yet. He is now a member of millions of online pornographic junkies. "As I salivated over the 'full frontal' centrefold, with those glamorous models spread-eagled across pages with come-to-bed eyes and staples through their midriffs-I rushed to my room and masturbated.
"Only, as I grow older, my experience of porn has been very different from my dad's. I'm part of the new generation of men to grow up with internet pornography as part and parcel of everyday life. I've never had to pay for it nor faced the embarrassment of asking for it. When I get tired of one image, there's always another… and another… and another. All I need do is type the words: 'free porn' into an internet search engine and there'd be thousands of hits, with most sites containing hundreds of pornographic images.

"Internet porn was part of my life throughout my early 20s and now at 28; I'm increasingly aware that I have a problem. I'm not yet ready to admit I'm an addict, but there's no denying that internet porn has become a deeply ingrained daily habit. As it is now, I struggle to get through a day without at least one visit to one of my favourite sites.

I'm sure a lot of your readers will be mouthing a silent: 'Yuk' as they read this and I entirely understand their reaction. But what they need to know is that I'm certainly not alone-I'm convinced that virtually every man of my age with access to the internet will log on to internet porn sites on a reasonably regular basis. You see, men, by and large, like porn and enjoy using it-it is getting caught using it that they don't like.

"Today, soft-core porn barely exists. Internet porn is now almost entirely 'hard-core'- which involves female and male models graphically engaged in an extraordinary variety of real sex acts. For years, I thought my internet porn habit was having no effect on my relationships in real life. I was confident I could keep internet sex and real sex separate.

Sex toy: A handy helpmate

~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, June 10, 2018.

Sex toys are still largely shrouded in certain social taboos in many cultures, especially in this part of the world. This however, does not come as a surprise since many people still find it difficult to discuss sex and sexuality issues even privately, not to think of expressing their sexuality, preferences and pleasures in the open. However, this has not stopped the growing market and demand for sex toys from fast gaining ground in Nigeria. This is because more people, especially the young are now more educated, thus enlightened and are more open minded and free to embrace their sexuality.
Simply put, sex toys are man-made instruments designed to enhance human sexual experiences. There are various arguments against the use of sex toys, many of them sexist, self centred, myopic and perhaps parochial. Of the most ridiculous, being that once a woman gets used to using a vibrator, she will have no need for the real thing.

I compare this with our God given legs and their natural ability of movement, taking us from one point to another and the manufacture of cars or various types of transportation also designed to take us from one place to another by man. Now, you have the option of walking to your destination, anytime, anywhere and under any circumstance or simply making things easy, comfortable and pleasurable by taking an appropriate and affordable mode of transportation to your destination. While the choice to either walk or go by transportation remains yours, opting for this instrument for movement does not render your legs useless but assisting your body to perform better and reach your desired destination faster. Nor does acquiring a mode of transportation mean that you will have no need for your legs again or that they will lose the ability to walk. A joke I once read on one of the social media platforms comes to mind.


The conversation was supposedly between a Jamaican Taxi driver and a Muslim male passenger. The man on boarding demanded that the music be turned off because he does not listen to it. He went on to explain that it was a religious injunction because in the time of the great prophet Muhammad (pboh) there was no music or radio. The taxi driver turned off the radio then parked the car a few meters after. He then opened the car door and asked the passenger to get down. Puzzled, he asked the driver what happened and why he was being ushered out of the car. The driver then replied him that, "in the time of the prophet, there were no taxis, so come out of my taxi and wait for a camel". The simple truth is that times have changed and are still changing. The goal is to get to your desired destination (sexual fulfilment/satisfaction), how you get there is your business, so long you are not hurting anyone.

While everything has its merits and demerits, the truth is that sex toys make our sexual efforts easier, faster, more pleasurable and colourful, no matter how uncreative an individual can be. There are several ways sex toys can enhance people's sexual lives as individuals and couples, just as there are many sex toys designed for various parts of the body. As a couple, using sex toys together or alone can help you attain a high level of communication, openness, trust and love for your partner.

GYMS – DANGER TO MARRIAGES

Recent studies across the world by a group of Christian Social Women Group has revealed that patronage of gyms are becoming a high risk option to sustainability of marriages.

The health and physical benefits of gyms not withstanding, the gyms are proving to be fertile grounds for infidelity and promiscuity. Some of the observations made are revealing:

First, the gym instructors prey on vulnerable women. A lot of married women have adopted the gym as a panacea to reducing weight and looking cutely attractive. Presumably because their spouses could be more attracted to their new curvy bodies. This makes them vulnerable to predating gym instructors who take advantage and seduce them. Touching the women at their most weakest areas opened them up for abuses and lasciviousness. Women biologically respond to tickles and fondles depending on which part of the body you touch. Gym instructors cunningly and constantly touch these spots when they observed them to break the emotional stability of those women. These over a period opens up those women for abuse. It was observed that these are prevalent with more affluent women and also lonely spouses.

Socialisation – The study also revealed that most marriages have suffered because the men or women have taken the gyms as their main centres of socialisation. When couples don’t find any reliable source of socialisation, they see the gym and the patrons as their most reliable friends, partners and joy. Most couples who attend the gym together do not face this risk. Couples who attend gyms alone are very prone to these dangers. After a period of socialising with the same opposite sex for a time, bonding becomes almost unavoidable. The more they train, chat, drink and sometimes eat together after the physical exercises, they become used to each other and sometimes share their marriage challenges. Unsuspecting partners are taken advantage of through a show of sympathy and sometimes outright deception and ill advice.

Targeting – Some men and women have intentionally joined gyms and clubs purposely to prey on a targeted victim. Many men and women have ignorantly fallen to wicked and deceitful men and women who have targeted them over a period. The targets may not know that these men and women have intentioned to have them for long and unsuspectingly opened up to them as gym mates and friends.

Wife of Swazi king commits suicide

~Vanguard Nigeria. Tuesday, April 10, 2018.

Senteni Masango

The eighth wife of Swaziland King Mswati III, Ms Senteni Masango, has committed suicide, local media confirmed.

"The king's wife is believed to have overdosed on about 40 amitriptyline capsules - widely used to block the long-term (chronic) pain of some rheumatic conditions and treat depression and related disorders," online publication News24 reported.

Ms Masango - known as Inkhosikati LaMasango -was found dead early on Friday morning and she was buried on Sunday morning.

King Mswati III chose Ms Masango as his eighth bride in September 1999, when she was only 18.

It soon emerged she had a record for truancy, poor grades and she was a high-school dropout and a rebel.

Last year, King Mswati III, married his latest bride, Ms Siphelele Mashwama, who was aged 19 years.

It is a tradition for the Swazi King to choose a wife every year.

The Sherburne-educated king choses a new bride during the famous Reed Dance ceremony, also known as Umhlanga.

The Reed Dance ceremony is an annual Swazi and Zulu tradition held in August or September.

In Swaziland, tens of thousands of unmarried and childless girls and women travel from the various chiefdoms to participate in the eight-day event, and would-be brides are publicly checked to ascertain their virginity.

The Kingdom of Swaziland is one of the world's last remaining absolute monarchies.

King Mswati III was crowned in 1986 at the age of 18, succeeding his long-serving father King Sobhuza II, who died at the age of 82.

The king, now aged 50, who is known as Ngweyama - the lion - has many wives and often appears in public in traditional dress.

AUCHI - LIBYA - ITALY: Undercover operation exposes 'mafia' smuggling Nigerians to Europe

By Nima Elbagir, with Lillian Leposo and Hassan John
Source: cnn.com
~Culled from Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, March 4, 2018.

• Trafficker's chilling warning: Don't struggle if you're raped

In a lurid pink hotel room in Edo State, southern Nigeria, a trafficker is arranging to smuggle us across the continent to Libya - and ultimately Europe.

Fluorescent lights flicker intermittently inside the hotel, which doubles as a brothel and serves as the headquarters of tonight's operation.

We are posing as would-be migrants attempting to reach Italy with the help of our "pusherman" - one of an army of brokers who work alongside smugglers on the Nigerian end of the migrant route from Africa to Europe.

Edo State is Nigeria's trafficking hub and one of Africa's largest departure points. Each year, tens of thousands of migrants are illegally smuggled from here. They're refugees fleeing conflict or economic migrants in search of better opportunities in Europe, most having sold everything they own to finance the journey.

But as CNN revealed in an exclusive report last year, they often never get beyond Libya.

When they arrive, they're told by smugglers they will need to pay thousands of dollars more to continue their journey across the Mediterranean.


When the migrants fail to pay, they are held in grim living conditions, deprived of food, abused by their captors, and sold as laborers in slave auctions.

Footage obtained of a slave auction in Libya - in which young men were sold by smugglers for as little as $400 each - caused international outrage.

The 'VIP' package

Three months later we wanted to see whether that outrage had translated into action. CNN producer Leposo and I went undercover as two wealthy women paying for the "VIP" travel package from Nigeria to Europe, which includes a smuggler who will meet us in the northern city of Kano and escort us across the border into Libya.

Deep inside the red-light district: happenings in Lagos strip clubs

Written by Ademola Olonilua
~Punch Nigeria. Sunday, February 11, 2018.

Catching fun, especially at night, has become a habit for many fun seekers in Lagos. For such people, the prominent places where they choose to catch their fun at night include bars and strip clubs. The go-to place for those who love to turn their X-rated fantasies into realities is usually the strip club. But strip clubs are not easy places to spot in Lagos, except if the fun seeker knows how to look beyond the surface. So, it could be difficult to locate one as there are no eligible signs to advertise their locations, so it is normally a case of, 'if you know, you know.'

Although there are choice strip clubs, both on the Island and the mainland; for the mainland, the clubs' colonies seem to be Allen Avenue and the Government Reservation Area, Ikeja. To spot one, fun seekers only look out for a neon sign or an electronic advertising sign with flickering lights, usually coloured blue and red with what appears to be the drawing of a naked woman.

Funnily enough, Ikeja is the commercial hub of Lagos during the day and also at night. With banks and other business firms situated in the district, human and vehicular traffic in the area during the day is usually heavy and at night, it still comes alive courtesy of the bright lights which seem to focus on the pubs, clubs and even commercial sex workers that conduct their business on the streets.

To a large extent, Ikeja is the red-light district of Lagos State.

Around one of the popular streets in GRA, Ikeja is a popular strip club. While most businesses have locked their doors and closed for the day by 9 pm, that is the time this establishment is resuming for the business of the night, and it takes it right until the following morning.

When Saturday PUNCH visited the establishment at about 9:30 pm on Wednesday, it was obvious that the 'shop' had just opened. Within minutes, the vast compound, which has a large space as its car park, was quickly filled with exotic cars; a testament to the class of people the joint caters for.

It is therefore not surprising that to get into the club as a man on Saturdays; their peak period, a fee of N5,000 is required and on Sundays, the price drops to N3,000. While the ladies pay N3,000 on Saturday and N2,000 on Sundays. Other days are free but the hefty men at the gate never forget to politely ask: 'Sir, anything for your boy even if na one bottle of beer?' Invariably, visitors are sometimes forced to part with money and since it is a high-end club, the bouncers at the door normally smile home.

Why one-night-stands aren't such a big deal these days

~Vanguard Nigeria. Sunday, December 17, 2017.

JIBE waited in her flat with bated breath. She hadn't done a reckless thing like this in her life before. A divorced mother of a nine-year old daughter, she'd run into Tony at a party and they'd got on like a house on fire. Their teasing got to a dare – would Jibe have- a no-strings-attached sex with him that night?

Tony was married of course, so his house was out of bounds. Jibe hadn't had sex for a while and was gaging for it. Her daughter was spending the night at her sister's. Could she let this opportunity slip from her fingers? So she said yes to Tony's proposition.

In spite of the excitement of having sex again, she was scared? She said: "When I heard the bell, I felt a bit panicky. This was suddenly a crazy idea. What if he had dubious intentions? But when I opened the door and saw the lecherous smile on his face, my anxiety was replaced by over-powering lust. Tony pulled me into his arms and started kissing me passionately. My legs actually buckled, but he pressed my body hard against his and I was lost. We started taking each other's clothes off and for a while I felt exposed – and sexy! He gently lowered me onto the sofa, and without saying a word, started making love to me. I'd never experienced anything like it before – so urgent, so uninhibited.

"Almost an hour after, I was exhausted. Tony told me it was one of the best sex he'd had and I felt flattered. It made me feel so desirable and powerful. As he made to leave, he asked for my mobile number but I told him I didn't want to take it any further. He looked really disappointed, but we'd both told ourselves at the party it was to be a one-night stand … "

Nollywood is demonizing the Nigerian culture

Azuka Onwuka
Twitter: @BrandAzuka

Azuka Onwuka

~Punch Nigeria. Tuesday, October 31, 2017

The Nigerian film industry, popularly called Nollywood, has been a big source of pride since it officially took off in 1992 with the production of Living in Bondage. It has provided wealth, fame and prestige to Nigeria and thousands of Nigerians.

Ironically, right from Living in Bondage, producers of Nigerian movies have tended to cast the Nigerian traditional life as evil, as well as portraying Nigerians as people who make their money through the power of the occult and human sacrifice.

The reason Chinua Achebe wrote Things Fall Apart and Arrow of God was to present a balanced view of the African life before the advent of the European colonialists, thereby puncturing the negative portrayal of Africa by Europe as barbarians. Achebe did not seek to glorify Africa; rather, he chose to present a society that was not irrational or lawless, even though it had its flaws.

Sadly, many Nollywood writers and producers have adopted the neo-colonial mindset in their films which focus on Nigerian traditional ways of life. For the sake of specificity, I will focus on Igbo culture in this discourse.

Anytime a Nigerian film focuses on an Igbo village as well as the city, there are some constant narratives: 1. The village is the home of poverty, while the city is the place of wealth and good life. 2. The village is the home of witches and wizards while the city is the home of good men and women. 3. The traditional religion in the village is evil but the Christian religion in the city is the good that always overcomes the darkness in the village. 4. The village is a lawless society where one man can seize the property of anybody, especially widows, with nobody stopping him except by divine intervention, while the city is the land of order.

It has become a joke passed around that once you see an actor like Pete Edochie or Chinwetalu Agu in a film set in a traditional Igbo community, a widow will be dealt with mercilessly. Her goats and chickens will be confiscated in broad daylight. She will be barred from farming on her husband’s lands. Sometimes, the terror is a king in an Igbo community that acts as he wishes, confiscating people’s property as well as daughters and wives, arresting people and even killing some.


One is forced to ask: In which fairy Igbo village do these things happen? If they were old events, in which fairy Igbo society did these things happen?

In the distant Igbo past, a girl could be pushed into a marriage with threats by her parents, but no girl could be forced into a marriage if she chose not to marry a particular man. During the marriage introduction, a girl was expected to visit the bridegroom’s home and spend at least four market days with the mother of the bridegroom, without any sexual relations with the bridegroom. This was the opportunity for her to be studied by the prospective groom’s family and for her to study the man’s family. If she returned and said she did not like the family or the man, the marriage would not proceed.

Three women in Zimbabwe rape pastor who tried to collect debt they owed

~Punch Nigeria. Wednesday, July 26, 2017.


Three women have appeared in court after a pastor said they raped him.

Two of the women are alleged to have pinned the man down on a bed, while the third carried out the sex attack.

A magistrates' court in Bulawayo, Zimbabwe, was told that the victim was owed money by the attackers and he went to their home to collect it.

They invited him into the house, but once he was inside, he said, he was grabbed around the waist and his trousers were pulled down by a second who then groped him.

The women Sandra Ncube, 21, Riamuhetsi Mlauzi, 23, and Mongiwe Mpofu, 25, denied rape, but pleaded guilty to indecent assault.

One of them said they were 'just playing around.’

Prosecutor, Mr. Petros Shoko, said: “On July 14 at 7pm, the complainant went to the accused persons’ residence to collect money which Mlauzi owed.

“They forced him to lie on the bed and undressed him. Ncube sat on his chest and he tried to push her away. However, Mlauzi held his legs together and sat on his top, pressing him against the bed.

“Mpofu was in another room and brought condoms and placed them on the complainant’s manhood and helped to hold him down.

“Ncube had sexual intercourse with the complainant once without his consent,” Shoko said.

The three denied raping the pastor but admitted indecent assault.

Ncube said: “We were just playing around, Your Worship. I did not think that he would take it seriously.”

Mpofu denied taking part, but admitted bringing the condoms saying: “We keep them around the house and I just brought them.”

Mlauzi said she wanted to 'fix' the pastor who she claimed had a habit of walking in on the women when they were bathing.

She said: “He always walks in on me bathing and claims to be unmoved as a man of God. I just wanted to see if he was going to be aroused or not.

“I did not plan to execute the whole rape thing Your Worship.”

Magistrate Lungile Ncube was told by Mlauzi that she just wanted to prove to the pastor that he had 'feelings like everybody else.'

She said: “I wanted him to see that he was not special and was not immune to sexual arousal.

“When I touched him, he immediately got aroused; and that is all we wanted to see,” she said.

The complainant was taken to Mpilo Central Hospital for a medical examination and the report will be prepared for the magistrates.

All three were remanded in custody until August 7 for a full trial.

Earlier this month, a 39-year-old teacher was hospitalised in Zimbabwe after claiming a gang of three women kidnapped, drugged and raped him for two days.

The man from Makoni in Chitungwiza was left with severely bruised genitals and doctors at Waza Hospital found other signs of sexual abuse after he was dumped by the roadside.

Police are still trying to find the three women who are allegedly part of a 'sperm bandit' gang preying on hitchhikers and travellers and steal and sell their semen for 'good luck.'

There is no suggestion the two alleged crimes are related.

Ancient Sub-Saharan Africans possibly interbred with unknown hominins – Study

Source: Xinhua/NAN
Published by The SUN Nigeria. Tuesday, July 25, 2017

Human ancestors living in Sub-Sahara Africa may have interbred with unknown "ghost'' species of early hominins, a study on the evolutionary history of a salivary protein has indicated.

"This unknown human relative could be a species that has been discovered such as a subspecies of Homo erectus, or an undiscovered hominin,'' Omer Gokcumen, assistant professor at the State University of New York at Buffalo, said in a recent statement.

"We call it a "ghost'' species because we don't have the fossils,'' he added.

The new research is among the most recent genetic analyses indicating that ancient Africans also had trysts with other early hominins.

The research team traced the evolution of an important mucin protein called MUC7 that was found in human saliva, examining its gene in more than 2,500 modern human genomes.

"When we looked at the history of the gene that codes for the protein, we see the signature of archaic admixture in modern day sub-Saharan African populations,'' Gokcumen said.

The research team found that a group of genomes from sub-Saharan African populations had a version of the gene that was wildly different from versions found in other modern humans, even beyond the differences between modern humans and the Neanderthals or Denisovans.


The finding, published on Britain's Molecular Biology and Evolution journal, showed that the ancestry of Homo sapiens are more complicated than originally believed.

Study showed that genes mutate during the course of evolution.

Thereby researchers calculated that the ancestors carrying Sub-Saharan MUC7 variant interbred with the "ghost'' hominin species as recent as 150,000 years ago, after the two species' evolutionary path diverged from each other some 1.5 to 2 million years ago.

The new studies also found that the MUC7 gene helps give spit its slimy consistency and binds to microbes, potentially helping to rid the body of disease-causing bacteria.

I WANT A DIVORCE! WHY?

~ culled from FB.

MARRIED OR NOT, YOU SHOULD READ THIS!

“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to
tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

Lagos: 'Pastor's been sleeping with me since I was 10; this's the fourth abortion'

Written by Evelyn Usman & Onozure Dania
~Vanguard Nigeria. Thursday, May 25, 2017.

LAGOS-Scriptural assertions of wolves in sheep clothing resurfaced yesterday, following a startling revelation by a 16-year-old Senior Secondary School, SSS, I student, on how she has been subjected to sexual violations since she was 10 years by a pastor at the Egbe branch of a popular new generation pentecostal church.

The victim, who spoke from the hospital bed around Ikotun area of the state, alleged that the suspect, with the connivance of a medical doctor, had carried out four abortions on her without her consent.

Trouble, as gathered, started for the teenager after the demise of her parents six years ago. An uncle she identified simply as George, took her to Delta State from where the suspect, who had just been separated from his wife, took her to Lagos to look after his child, with a promise to train her in school.

That was when he allegedly started a sexual relationship with her in his three-bedroom flat at 6, Dolamo Street, Agodo-Egbe.

The victim alleged that whenever he wanted to have sexual intercourse with her, he would invite her to his bedroom and offer her some drugs after which she would lose her memory.

According to her, "he usually invited me to bring water to his room at night. Thereafter, he would give me some drugs. But when I summoned courage to ask him one day, he said that the drugs was to make me sexually active.

'No one believed me'

"I have waited for this day when I would be free from his claws. The first time I opened up to our branch's Senior Pastor and his wife, I was hushed. They even said I wanted to tarnish my guardian's image, despite all he had done to keep me in school.

"Again, I reported the sexual molestation to some of my school teachers, but they said they did not know how to go about it and how to prove my claim. They were even afraid that I could be driven away from the house and that it would mean the end of my education.